Hell Yeah, It's World Penguin Day

And we got you some presents.

Ben the Bengal is a cat, not a penguin! Courtesy of our pal Mont!

Happy Weekend!

Today is World Penguin Day, which is great, because penguins are great. I love them so much and I especially love when I go to “Jazzin’ At The Shedd (Aquarium)” and the penguins get very amorous with one another, because of how much they love JAZZ.

It is also ANZAC Day, a day meant to celebrate the Australia and New Zealand Army Corps, although I did not know that in seventh grade when I saw it on my calendar and decided that my friends and I should invent a bunch of insane traditions for this mysterious holiday — the primary one involving a giant can of Planter’s Cheese Balls, though I cannot recall why. Probably because it was in our pantry!

Thus, to combine these two important holidays, your first present this week is a super weird movie about a shell-shocked penguin that served in Vietnam, because why the fuck not?

Honestly, I have a lot of questions, though I am not sure what they are.

It is also the birthday of Ella Fitzgerald, who was born on this day in 1917, so in celebration of that, I give you Ella Fitzgerald singing “Old MacDonald Had A Farm,” because literally only Ella Fitzgerald could make that remotely tolerable.

And hey! Here is an entire Ella Fitzgerald concert! Aren’t you lucky!

Enjoy!

It is also Dinesh D’Souza’s birthday, so I guess celebrate that by being a very obvious liar. No present for that, because of how he is a terrible nightmare person. YOU ARE WELCOME.

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