234 Comments
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Bupkus231's avatar

"...Being conservative lickspittle on Fox News is job requirement! It actually goes on resume under “Special Skills,” ahead even of “strong gag reflex.”..."

I would think lacking a strong gag reflex would be required, considering how often those lickspittles are getting liberal ideas crammed down their throats!

Dina's avatar

Oh, the happiness I feel when I see Gary doing another Vlad article! Personally, I think he does a better Vlad than Putin himself. This time, I completely lost it early on with "Wanda Is Name of Fish"! 🤣🤣🤣

satch's avatar

This is a purely academic exercise in speculative surmise, but might the CIA have, oh, some drug or other that can cause a heart attack and leave no trace?

Michael Bowen's avatar

Apparently insulin works well and doesn't leave traces, but it has to be injected.

M-X's avatar

Not sure but I know those Russians have used one: extract of some plant found in, get this, Kew Gardens? London Botanical Garden? anyway, quite obscure shit, when they knocked off an ex-Russian oligarch who lived in England. "Heart attack" Nice work!

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

The whodunit classic is Curare.

Jeff, still got my guitar's avatar

Hard to say what Putin's thinking about the disaster he's created for Russia at this point. His whole tough guy thing has been exposed as a paper pussycat. He's not taking over anything, he can't. He can't use nukes but he can send hundreds of NK infantry charging into the Ukrainian lines to be slaughtered. Putin's bunkered up I'm sure.

M-X's avatar

Got the basic 300 reps done of the ballet barre battement bullshit, the stretching was painful & loud, though. Gotta keep stuff loosened up even if it's sore, so I finna also do a *bit* of the abs & arms soon. Now to retrieve the chuck roast in tomato puree from the oven, maybe have a bit of veg before I thoroughly blow the diet today with a butterscotch hot cider with whipped cream. Slàinte!!

RRJKR's avatar

I'm exhausted just hearing about it. I admire your fortitude!

satch's avatar

You've put in the work, now enjoy the food.

M-X's avatar

Oh, not the roast, for me. But yep, the metabolism is cookin' after activity so I put off eating til after. Maybe some tomato & cucumber with a little dressing. The roast is going to get chopped to go in the epic vat of chili :-D

Thanks for the encouragement!

The Estivating Hibernian's avatar

The secret (for me at least) is : do without overdoing.

M-X's avatar

Yep. I've done really well about not injuring myself this year, with the exception of BABY GODDAMN FRANCES pulling my shoulder off that once. I have learned from that. It's doing better, finally.

The Estivating Hibernian's avatar

Incrementally less terrible, those are the heights of my aspirations.

AthenaH2SO4's avatar

While Putin is incredibly unsexy, I will say that spoken Russian can be incredibly sexy. I desperately miss hearing my husband speak it.

abbienormal's avatar

2024 has been a lot. Lots of family emergencies and illnesses. Work stress and undeniable gender discrimination at work.

But, no one in my family has died this year and that is rare in my family. I am still relatively sane and in awe of my family members that just keep up the optimism and try to move forward.

My one and only goal for the new year is to avoid screaming in public. I'll let you know how that goes.

Let's just take tomorrow to relax and give thanks and then back to the fight.

The Estivating Hibernian's avatar

French was the court language of Russia for almost 200 years.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

A high school friend went into the diplomatic corp back in the 70's. His final interview was in French.

tehbaddr's avatar

For once I agree w/ The Vlad. Jamie Lee Curtis Hubba Hubba!

BlueStateLibel's avatar

But still least likely to die peacefully in his sleep.

Greg's avatar

You do so well on these. You're not doubling down over at RT are you?

:D

Nicely done.

Zyxomma's avatar

Slava Ukraini. 🌻🇺🇦💙💛 May Putin go to the hell he purports to believe in, sooner rather than later.

Arthur Dent's Towel's avatar

Satan: "Oh...it's *you*." (turns to nearest demon) "Take him to Level 9. I think he needs to see Prigozhin again."

Dave M's avatar

I actually do like the sound of spoken Russian, but in the audio track of a Russian film, not Volodya here being a svoloch.

BillEGoatSmile's avatar

Dunno' where he saw it, but Mr. Goat informs that Stinky told all of his nominees, and 'potential' nominees, to stay off social media. Huh. If true, seems like maybe that should be directed at the DOGE assholes instead, and good fuckin' luck with that. LOLOLOL

tehbaddr's avatar

So, I've had Ghost Pepper Chicken Noodle Soup, Extra Jumbo Shrimp (they do too exist 14 ct) in Old Bay, 1/2 Doz Ghost Pepper Wings and am scheming more. I have Hummus, more Shrimp, Pizza, Broccoli Curry, Jalapeno Pretzal Bits, all manor of pastries and cookies, Choco Choco Klondikes....This is my NY Eve tradition of eating all the good things.

Zyxomma's avatar

We have roasting four little carrots (not baby, just little) and half an autumn frost squash stuffed with wild and whole (a/k/a brown) rice with three kinds of mushrooms and baby spinach; there's more of the stuffing in a borosilicate glass container. The black eyed peas are on the stovetop, to be eaten New Year's Day with greens and cornbread, which I'll make tomorrow in the cast iron skillet.

Dave M's avatar

I have some (frozen) tempura shrimp and bacon cheddar potato skins lined up for later, washed down with my yearly bottle of Mexican Coca-Cola (with sugar instead of corn syrup).

Nuernburger's avatar

I got my kids some mex coke for Xmas.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Don, Jr. is green with envy.

"M"'s avatar

I love jumbo shrimp 🍤

tehbaddr's avatar

These things are like small lobster tails!

"M"'s avatar

Awesome

How are you fixing them?

tehbaddr's avatar

Dropped from frozen in boiling water with tons of Old Bay, remove from heat let sit till cooked tender, drain then nom. The remainder is chilling in the fridge. Simple yet very straightforward and very shrimpy.

"M"'s avatar

Old Bayyyyyy

🍤 🍤 🍤