Today Russian President Vladimir Putin wrote an op-ed for The New York Times in which he pleaded with the United States to be cautious in its dealings with Syria. Thanks to the type of journalistic legwork you have come to expect from your Wonkette, we were able to turn up the original draft of Putin's op-ed, before his handlers and diplomats and people with a better command of the English language put their stamps on it. We present it here for your enlightenment.
...geez Putin, is that what you call sexting the American people?! To get our attention you need to bend over and <strong>TWERK</strong> us into oblivion while a muffin topped wannabe intern gets her boobs done!
<i>&quot;My message will be: &#039;Vladimir - I call him Vladimir - you shouldn&#039;t fear a missile defence system. As a matter of fact, why don&#039;t you cooperate with us on a missile defence system?&#039;&quot; Mr Bush said at a news conference. </i> Obama just doesn&#039;t have Dubya&#039;s down home ways with other leaders. Looking into their eyes looking for a soul, giving another a back rub, or just invading their countries, Bush was the uncommon common man.
I...don&#039;t understand how I never saw it before. Clearly the &quot;Red&quot; Sox have ALWAYS been in league with the KGB. They probably were involved in engineering the Red Sox AL Championship Victory over the Yankees* somehow!
*DaiMacculate is not, nor ever has been, a Yankees Fan.
РРоÑÑии ÑÑÑÑ ÐÑÑина иÑполÑзÑÐµÑ Ð²Ð°Ñ Ð´Ð»Ñ ÑÑалеÑной бÑмаги!
...geez Putin, is that what you call sexting the American people?! To get our attention you need to bend over and <strong>TWERK</strong> us into oblivion while a muffin topped wannabe intern gets her boobs done!
<i>&quot;My message will be: &#039;Vladimir - I call him Vladimir - you shouldn&#039;t fear a missile defence system. As a matter of fact, why don&#039;t you cooperate with us on a missile defence system?&#039;&quot; Mr Bush said at a news conference. </i> Obama just doesn&#039;t have Dubya&#039;s down home ways with other leaders. Looking into their eyes looking for a soul, giving another a back rub, or just invading their countries, Bush was the uncommon common man.
ewwwww. Not even slightly attractive.
Jesus. I mean... I am speechless. What the fuck is WRONG with people??
Moose and squirrel deserve a rebuttal.
You didn&#039;t think a Russian would like the Yankees, did you?
Is anyone else hearing this in Craig Ferguson&#039;s Dracula voice?
I...don&#039;t understand how I never saw it before. Clearly the &quot;Red&quot; Sox have ALWAYS been in league with the KGB. They probably were involved in engineering the Red Sox AL Championship Victory over the Yankees* somehow!
*DaiMacculate is not, nor ever has been, a Yankees Fan.
And for football, da bears.