Here Are The Racist Emails That Landed Sh*tty Ferguson Officials In The Unemployment Line

If former court clerk Mary Ann Twitty, of Ferguson, Missouri, had been paying any attention to Hillary Clinton's lessons, she might still have a job right now. Same goes for Rick Henke and William Mudd, who used to be police captain and police sergeant, respectively. Instead, it never occurred to them that "hey we send each other racist haw haw jokes all the time, maybe we should delete them, or maybe do this over Snapchat," and they were relieved of their jobs in March. Well, now we actually get to see the emails! Were they talking about how much they wanted to lynch slaves or how Barack Obama should go back and live with the monkeys in Africa? Less of the former, more of the latter.

The Washington Post has released the emails, and they are basically everything your right-wing uncle used to send you, before you changed your email address without telling him:

The e-mails — all sent between 2008 and 2011 — are primarily e-mail forwards containing insensitive and offensive jokes. One of the e-mails, sent by Twitty to both men as well as a third recipient with the subject line “Insensitive One Liners,” included the lines: “There’s a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in our shopping center, but they threw me out after I asked if I could look at some of the bomber jackets.”

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Our sides are to be splitting, that is so creative! Tell us more comedy:

In a message dated Tuesday, April 19, 2011, Twitty forwarded a message titled “Very Rare Photo” that included an image of former president Ronald Reagan feeding a baby monkey. Beneath the photo is the caption: “Rare photo of Ronald Reagan babysitting Barack Obama in early 1962.”

Oh, we see what they did there, they are making a unique joke about how black people are monkeys. How do they come up with this kneeslappity folderol?

Of course, that picture is completely ahistorical, because in 1962, Barack Obama was in Kenya being trained by the Illuminati to become the anti-Christ.

Twitty also sent the following short story to her best dude friends at work. Man, these people spent more time sending each other dumb shit at work than Wonkette staffers:

Get it? Because all black people lie about who their babies' daddies are, and they have funny names! Another email is about how dogs can get welfare, because they are "mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no frigging clue who their daddies are." Yes, wingnuts really only have about two types of jokes -- the racist ones, and their own reflections in the mirror.

It wasn't all fun and email forwards, though. Here is an email sent by Rick Henke that he had to type out himself with his own meat fingers:

In case you are too lazy to click and embiggen it yourself, the "important" part is that Henke makes a "joke" that says "we shouldn't worry about [Obama] being president very long because what black man holds a steady job for four years."

To which we respond, six years and countin', motherfucker, and two years until he declares himself emperor and starts shufflin' y'all asses off to the FEMA camps. (Haha, no he won't. OR WILL HE? Nawwww. BUT MAYBE.)

So, there is a big problem with nasty, un-funny idiot racist people working for the city of Ferguson, it is systemic, and they need to clean house, but remember that it is unpossible that any of this contributed in any way to That Thing We Don't Like To Talk About, that landed Ferguson in the international news in the first place.

[ Washington Post ]