Here Are Your Joe Biden/Jessica Biel/Justin Timberlake Sexy Caption Contest Winners!

Today we challenged you -- CHALLENGED YOU -- by explaining how, despite how erudite and witty you are, as soon as we give you a caption contest YOU ARE TEH SUCK.

Oh, do you disagree? Then go look at the captions in our previous caption contest, for which THERE WAS NO WINNER, only EVERLASTING SHAME.

So what happened? Did you whine and pout like a bunch of whiny-ass-titty-babies? In fact, you did! And apparently we can stop the beatings now because while morale may not have improved, your captions certainly did!

At the top of the post, you will find the Commenters Choice, because it has lots of P. Is it the overall winner? No. But it wasn't bad or anything. Oh, here, let's remind you what you were captioning:

And now here are the other runners up. All of them are about how mean we are, and they win for being TRUE.

Well, except for this one, obviously. It runner-ups for its keen insight.

This one also too.

Here is a thing, we forget.

And drum roll please the winner is ....

Congratulations darlings. Your prize is I will not yell at you -- or at least you specifically -- for at least the rest of the week.

[checks calendar]

[sees it's Thursday]

[cool]