Here We Are! Tabs, Mon., Aug. 31, 2026

And there you are!

Aug 31, 2026

Hello, hello!

Donald Trump’s personal pollster is out here saying Abdul El-Sayed’s lead in the polls is a “FAKE NARRATIVE.” [Politico]

Meanwhile, is El-Sayed’s opponent Mike Rogers possibly telling a little fibby when he suggests he killed Osama Bin Laden with his bare eyeballs or whatever? [Guardian]

Bestiality no longer a dealbreaker in Kash Patel’s FBI! Dang, they’re recruiting MAGA hard, aren’t they? [CBS News]

Laura Loomer wants Milo to know IT WAS HER, SHE WAS THE ONE what got him deported.

Yeah, Laura Loomer has been on a real normal one in a number of ways this weekend. [JoeMyGod]

Donald Trump doesn’t want “Canadian anything,” Canadian anything very stinky!

Trump: “When I announced that I was running in the 2024 Presidential Election, right at the beginning, Ford was getting ready to close their Big Factory, in Detroit. “Then, because I was leading in the Polls, they figured they would leave it open a little longer to see what happened. “Now it’s running 24/7, and it’s one of the most profitable Car Plants in the World! There are many other examples, for both Ford, General Motors, and others. “I’ve revived, and indeed saved, the Automobile Business in our America. That’s because of what I’ve done with TARIFFS. “One of the Worst Abusers is Canada. I don’t want Canadian cars, I don’t want Canadian parts, I don’t want Canadian anything. They’ve been ripping us off for decades, and it’s going to stop. “This should have happened long ago with other Presidents, just as stopping Iran should have happened long ago. They want to be treated like a State, but they aren’t one. “I deal with the Leadership of many Countries, but I find Canada to be the worst. They are entitled no longer!”

Generals trying to gently explain to Secretary Shitfaced that he can’t just keep doing war like this. [Washington Post]

Hegseth’s waterboy fluffer Sean Parnell is having a tantrum over the Washington Post publishing that, hoo boy. [Twitter]

Speaking of the Pentagon, read about the internet troll who works there who’s making databases of Donald Trump’s political enemies, just like any fascist would do. [New Republic]

Google Maps has caved like a coward to Donald Trump’s dementia decrees and is referring to Lake Ontario by its fake Mad King name. So you might want to change from using Google Maps. [Google]

Here is your movie recommendation! The Beasts (Galician: As bestas) is a Spanish film about just about the most extreme case of distrust of outsiders who happen to be your neighbors we’ve seen in a while. It’s set in Galicia (northwest Spain, the little wedge above Portugal) and it’s about a French couple who moves in to a mountain village, and things between them and two brothers in particular go oof very badly. Dialogue is in Spanish, French and Galician (which is a whole separate language closer to Portuguese than Spanish) with English subtitles, if you’re into that sort of thing. Available the usual places, we reckon, but it’s also on Mubi, a subscription service we really like.