Here's the beloved Conservative Comedian, Brad Stine, giving his lighthearted send-off to CPAC 2012 DAY 1 yesterday. Your Wonkette would've gone to watch him personally but was busy doing anything else. What's his joke? Americans are such wusses now with their basic car safety measures. Ha! Ehh. If you listen really closely you can hear him say "METH METH COCAINE METH COCAINE METH," too.
Wait a second...masturbation is not ok in OK?
Bizzare Newt comment reference FTW.
Ahhh, but she'll never need an abortion if you beat your meat.