Heritage Foundation Releases Hi-larious Anti-Obama Thanksgiving Cards That Are Not Remotely Hi-larious

Fact: Conservatives are not very good at doing funny. Sure, they try. And fail. And if you don't get the joke, you're probably just some politically correct overly sensitive something-or-other. Or maybe, just maybe, it is because conservatives are not very good at doing the funny.

Exhibit eleventeen trillion for your consideration: Heritage Foundation's new line of Thanksgiving cards to send to "that really annoying liberal in your life." Because Thanksgiving is all about being a dick to people, just like the pilgrims were dicks to ... okay, never mind, that might actually be sort of correct.

Anyway, how can you annoy that liberal in your life (you know, more)? Remind them to be thankful that "the government doesn't regulate how much we can eat at Thanksgiving dinner." Oh, zing and snap! Of course, gratitude that the government regulates our food so we do not get all poisoned and stuff is probably better left for Arbor Day.

You should also be thankful that "our liberal cousins will be too embarrassed to bring up Obamacare at dinner this year." Yeah, liberals will definitely be too ashamed of all those nifty new Obamacare perks they are getting, like the end of pre-existing conditions and lower premiums and more expansive coverage and free birth control. [Hangs head in shame.]

Also, Kathleen Sebelius does not coach football. This is funny somehow because ... uh ... she is awful and the worst. Hardy har har.

Sigh. There are six of these not-funny cards Heritage would like you to email to your favorite liberals, in the spirit of the holiday. Frankly, we are thankful Thanksgiving is almost over so we can get back to our War on Christmas, to annoy those annoying conservatives in our life who think that is an actual thing. Pass the cranberries. 

[ Red Alert Politics ]