Heritage Foundation Wants Trump To Deport Prince Harry
They want you to know they'll come after disloyal rich white men too!
The tentacles of our new Christofascist overlords the Heritage Foundation were back in court last Wednesday, this time continuing a two-year fight they’ve been having with the Department of Homeland Security to make public the visa application of one HRH Prince Henry Charles Albert David George of Wales, the Duke of Sussex, Earl of Dumbarton, and Baron Kikell K.C.V.O., AKA Prince Harry, AKA the ginger married to the lady from “Suits.”
Heritage has been slobbering over the possibility that his visa application will reveal that when he immigrated during the first Trump administration he lied about “numerous drug offenses” he mentioned in his memoir, like some kind of British Hunter Biden. Harry was never arrested or convicted of anything, but he wrote that he and his wife-to-be smoked pot while watching Inside Out, angry face! Also he tooted some lines at a party once, and did some shroomin’, so they think he should be DEPORTED. Harry is married to a US citizen and has two American children, but if he lied on the application, he could still be deported anyway. And what a fine example he would make of the Heritage Foundation’s newly boundless power to harass people and upend their lives!
Nile Gardiner, the director of the foundation’s Margaret Thatcher Center for Freedom and Fox News blatherer, told Vanity Fair, “I think that US immigration law has to be applied equally and fairly to anyone who applies. It doesn’t matter whether you are a prince. If Harry has nothing to hide, he should support the release of the records [...] I think it’s very clear that if Prince Harry lied on his immigration application, which is a criminal offense, he will be deported.” And Heritage is also reportedly appealing to Trump to ORDER Harry’s confidential records released, too.
And if they can do it to Harry, well, they can do it to anyone, they’re hoping. Maybe even to El Salvador!
Hm, one could say the same “nothing to hide” thing about immigrant Elon Musk, who came to the US from Canada on a student visa and openly admitted to the Washington Post and in a legal deposition that he violated the terms by stealing American jobs instead of going to school. And his brother Kimbal humblebrag-hyuked on a podcast that the two of them committed fraud on entry by lying to border agents that they were going to a David Letterman taping, instead of to break the law by working at a web company. Which if true should make him inadmissible to the US for the rest of his life, and made him ineligible for citizenship!
Or how about the immigration records of one Melania Knauss Trump, who came here on an extremely rare EB-1 “Einstein” visa for people of extraordinary ability, who are supposed to show evidence that they will be continuing to work in the area of their expertise, and:
provide evidence of a major award or meet three of 10 criteria proving excellence in their field. The criteria include coverage of the applicant in major publications, original and significant contributions to a field, and work displayed at artistic exhibitions.
Doesn’t the public have the right to know what the First Lady wrote down for that? Was Melania perhaps the first-ever model to appear naked as a jaybird in high heels on a bear rug? Did she invent getting greased in baby oil and turning around to make a pouty “you caught me, you naughty boy!” expression?
Anyway, back to Harry. The Heritage Foundation first started trying to get Harry’s confidential records in 2023, with FOIA requests to the US Citizenship and Immigration Services as well as US Customs and Border Protection, which turned them down because these records are confidential. Then Heritage sued the Department of Homeland Security, demanding an injunction to force DHS to expedite the request because Heritage would suffer irreparable harm if they didn’t get Harry’s private documents immediately.
Last October Trump appointee Judge Carl Nichols — the same judge blocking the Trump administration from putting all the USAID employees on leave right now — told Heritage to fuck on off, because “the public does not have a strong interest in disclosure of the Duke’s immigration records.”
And the Heritage Foundation has appealed, hoping that Trump, longtime voracious tabloid reader that he is, will make an example out of Harry. Trump told the trashy London Express last year: “I wouldn’t protect him. He betrayed the Queen. That’s unforgivable. He would be on his own if it was down to me,” and “I think they [the Biden administration] have been too gracious to him after what he has done.”
The Queen, of course, loved her grandson, and did not like Donald Trump, much less ask his fucking opinion about anything. And Trump has written eleventy hundred books bragging about how the real Art of The Deal is fucking over any contractor with bad enough sense to work for you. Also, you know who is entitled to write a book about their life, and should? EVERYBODY!
Especially Harry, who has been dogged and lied about by shitty publications since before he was born, and shamed into not defending himself by his glamorously inbred family. Until now! He got out of their clutches and off his dreary little island, and just settled a lawsuit with Rupert Murdoch’s British NewsUK operation that included a full and unequivocal apology and admission to all the illegal hacking and intrusions that they plagued him with his entire life. He’s been working to tell his own story, live his truth, and better his lot, and there ain’t a damn thing wrong with that.
But to conservatives, it was unforgivable to break the omertà of the royal family and write a book called Spare, titled for the way it was openly discussed in the royal family that Harry existed to be spare parts for his brother. He also talked about his grief over the death of his mother, and the fact that his family was made up of humans who did human things. Why does Heritage care so much? Perhaps because in a cult, the only unforgivable sin is leaving. If their minions discovered that by being reasonably nice people they could find a nice person to marry and go live a happy life outside of the cult instead of snorting powdered haterade all day long, the whole scheme falls apart. Just a theory.
Also Harry is what a Klansman or probably Princess Michael of Kent would call a race traitor for marrying a half-Black lady, instead of one of his horsefaced cousins, or at the least a blandly pretty white girl whose parents sold party supplies. And they are “woke,” of course. Recently the Sussexes called out Meta for their disgusting new Hateful Content Policies, which Wallis and the late Duke of Windsor would have adored.
Judge Nichols said that he’d make public what he could and asked the government to submit redactions, so maybe something will be released, hopefully as redacted as a Michael Flynn court document.
Meanwhile, Harry and his wife Meghan Markle are near Vancouver for the Invictus Games, the 11-year-old international sporting event for wounded veterans that he founded. Invictus has also just broken ground on a new rehabilitation center in Nigeria! The couple also let people who’d lost their homes in the LA fires stay in their house, had been working alongside chef Jose Andres's World Central Kitchen handing out food, and played with displaced kids at the San Diego Zoo. Meghan even helped track down a replacement Billie Elish T-shirt that a 15-year-old lost in the fire. So of course the Twitter trolliverse is shitting all over her for being the worst person ever born, and gossip websites are reporting that she and Harry are on the brink of divorce, based on nothing. They want her to be miserable so bad.
Oh well! And best of luck to them. We need more Americans like these!
What about the Ketamine Kid? Shouldn’t he go first? 😩
Harry has long been the ONLY member of that parasitical family for whom I have any respect at all. I will even confess to having made a point to watch his wedding ceremony with the lovely Meagan Markle.
I continue to wish the both of them and their precious little ones the very best.