Herman Cain's Website Still So Offended That A Lady Talked About Her Lady Parts That One Time

We have to admit we had completely forgotten about Herman Cain after his 2012 flameout, but it looks like he has a website where people who are not Herman Cain write things that are, we presume, thinks Herman Cain has thought of or agrees with. It is, as you would imagine, a really impressive level of discourse. Today, one of Cain's minions is flapping his virtual gums about how two years ago a lady lawmaker referred to her lady parts in a discussion about what ladies should do with lady parts, and that is still a problem over in Cainville.

A couple years ago, Michigan was doing that cool thing where they try to make it so ladies can never get abortions, and then-Representative Lisa Brown actually TALKED ABOUT HER VAGINA in discussing laws that would affect the use of her vagina. The nerve! Turns out that the Democratic candidate in the Michigan gubernatorial race, Mark Schauer, tapped Brown to be his running mate. Our feelings on this range from "cool" to "we do not live in Michigan" but looks like Herman Cain's pals still bear the scars of having a woman talk about a part of her body.

Once the Republican chair cautioned Brown about decorum because she talked about her own vagina on the House floor, Democrats went full-on with the "war on women" crap, staging publicity stunts designed to give the impression that Republicans were silencing women, blah blah blah. It culminated with Brown and other female Michigan politicos staging a reading of "The Vagina Monologues" on the Capitol steps in Lansing.

To tell the truth, it is actually totally silencing women when you tell them they can't talk, and it is super duper silencing women when you tell them that it is a breach of decorum for referring to the exact body part you are trying to regulate. We realize people like Herman Cain and friends only like to think of a vagina as a place to ram a whole bunch of laws, but some ladies actually think their vaginas still belong to them.

Herman Cain's buddy is also still so very sad that Lisa Brown likes the gays.

[W]hen gay marriage was legalized by order of a federal judge (before the order was quickly stayed by an appeals court), Brown was among a handful of Michigan county clerks who handed out marriage licenses to gay couples as quickly as she could.

This is unfuckingbelievable, you guys. When it was legal to issue marriage licenses to the gays, SHE ISSUED MARRIAGE LICENSES TO THE GAYS. Lisa Brown is history's greatest monster.

Mostly, what CainFriend wants to go on about is how these things do not make Lisa Brown qualified to run for office and also too neither is Wendy Davis. Lisa Brown served as a state representative and a county clerk, while Davis has served in the Texas Lege since 2008. Let us now take a moment to review the lengthy track record of legislative and public service of one Herman Cain. **Whistles, looks around, digs toe into floor, looks back up again.** That is enough time to remember that Herman Cain has not been able to obtain a legislative office despite quixotically running many many times. 

Dear Herman Cain's website: When your godhead is a dude who was most definitely in the running for most ridiculous GOP candidate of 2012 (seriously, 9-9-9??!?) you probably shouldn't throw stones at ladies who actually legislated, even if they are ladies that want to talk about their vaginas.

[ Detroit Free Press / Best of Cain ]