23 Comments

She had pulmonary hypertension. It turns out to have been kind of remarkable that she survived the first pregnancy without developing any noticeable symptoms, but it meant her heart was really screwed up after the second.

These days, I believe there is a kind of implantable drug pump that can buy some folks (and it's almost always women) quite a few years, but back in 1992, it was pretty much: if you have enough symptoms to lead to the diagnosis, you've a got a year or two. In her case, fifteen months.

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It was sad. Explaining to your four-year-old that Mommy has died, and will never be back, is an experience that I'm glad most US Americans don't need to have. And explaining to the former toddler, a couple of years later, why he doesn't have a Mom like everybody else, is also no real fun.

But, it was also twenty years ago, we weren't in a war zone, and we've muddled through so far. If you and I ever meet IRL, I will gladly accept hugs. I am a fan of hugs.

But time and life have a way of easing even great pain. (Opportunity for a magazine joke, there). It's milestones that stimulate reflection. My older boy got married last October. I had to have a few stern words with myself. The father of the groom isn't supposed to cry.

I appear to be rambling. Thank you for your good thoughts.

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I'd like to recommend a book, <i>The Grieving Child</i>. It explains how the grieving process is different in children than in adults, and offers some very practical advice.

A personal example: My older son was just four. The book suggested that, at that age, I should very clearly explain that Mommy had died, and would never be coming back, and that I should then expect a minute or so of thought and then a request to go play. And that this didn't mean my son was a soulless monster.

Bingo. Almost to the word.

Really recommended. I bought a half dozen copies and gave them to relatives.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Your granddaughter may be too young to properly understand, right now, but she'll get older.

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fucking brooklyn hipsters.

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Condolences. And by upfisting you, I am not supporting cancer.

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I've been there, weej - my genuine condolences.

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Excellent use of their spare change, IMO -- it leaves less for other forms of teabaggery.

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Glitter on the court, hey!

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The Judge couldn't believe what they found.

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I'm very sorry to hear that, weejee. My condolences to the family. It's good that there is family. Family support will be of huge value to your son, even if he doesn't always seem to want it. (My wife died when our kids were 1 and 4).

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♫I'm Strunkin'♫♪

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Or drone.

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That was our chant in the hospital when putting in a feeding tube.

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we want the Strunk give up theStrunk we need the Strunk We gotta have that Strunk

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So Strunk (who BTW needs to really do something to ditch the "creepy uncle" look) thinks that the Court of Appeals is going to do what hasn't been done in 20 other attempts and side with him?

Slow learner, ain't he?

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Strunk needs a new hobby. May I suggest shark petting or bomb disposal?

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