208 Comments

Let's start a whitehouse.gov petition to send Ted Cruz into space. Money well spent and we wouldn't have to waste any perfectly good monkeys.

Expand full comment

And what's with this "Earthrise" picture? I'm looking at you, Apollo 8. You were sent there to take pictures of the Moon, not Earth you dum dums!

Expand full comment

Ted Cruz is an intellectually challenged anti science goober who belongs on a science committee like aChimp belongs there. Cruze belongs on the sub sub committee studying the true color of crap and why it doesn't smell like roses.

Expand full comment

his face looks especially punchable today

Expand full comment

Space Food Sticks.

Expand full comment

Sad to say, the Lesser Ivies aren't so undiscriminating.

Wait, yes they are. Keith Ablow and Bobby Jindal both went to Brown.

Expand full comment

they ate the brown acid

Expand full comment

Questioning a NASA scientist as to whether studying the earth has any relevance to space exploration is like questioning a geneticist about whether studying mutations has any relevance to cancer research.

Expand full comment

Ted is more into scaring little boys and girls than he is into inspiring them

Expand full comment

Okay:

I would suggest that almost any American would agree that the core function of a Republican Senator is to capitalize on fear and hatred to aggrandize and enrich themselves and their cronies while helping make our society courser and stupider.

Expand full comment

Given their Dad, that is a truly disgusting mental image!

Expand full comment

In the interest of inspiring little boys and girls, the committee should change its name to the Senate Committee on Oversight of Superheros, Transformers, Dinosaurs, My Little Ponies, and Theme Parks.

Expand full comment

It's all explained in Cruz's seminal work (for which Bill O'Rielly won the Nobel peace prize) On the Politico-dynamics of Obama Budgets where he introduces his special theory of relativity, which scientifically sciences a science model of how concrete facts can differ depending on the politics of the observer, and applies it to the case of a Black "President."

Expand full comment

Ted Cruz gets NASA and the United Federation of Planets mixed up all the time.

Expand full comment

He does realize that the Federation was a socialist institution right?

Expand full comment

Can anyone with connections with Ted ask if he can get more funding for Hoveround space research?

Expand full comment