An unspeakably ugly one-ton statue has been stolen from the home of former Miss Oklahoma, orange juice peddler, and anti-gay activist Anita Bryant in Oklahoma City. The $30,000 lump of marble was taken May 25th, although Oklahoma TV station KOTV only ran the story Monday, possibly to give the Hostage Statuary Recovery Team a chance to work, we don't know. The artwork, if one doesn't mind using the term loosely, was stolen sometime during a 3-hour window when Bryant and her husband, Charlie Dry, were away from home, and whoever took it would have had to use a forklift and a large truck to move the thing.
I wonder when we will see an Instagram stream of photos of the statue in Hawaii on the beach; with a bagpiper in Scotland; in the African bush. It's basically a big lawn goose.
Two hooves off the ground means our precious Freedom (or whatever the hell that is) died in battle. Except the tummy resting on a tree may mean it actually died due to obesity-related complications.
Around these parts, leaving something that butt-ugly -- like a ratty sofa, 1970s TV, pile o' lumber -- out on the front "lawn" is just an invitation for someone to take it away.
<i>&quot;Hey honey, someone stole that dog-shit out in front of the house!&quot;</i>
I wonder when we will see an Instagram stream of photos of the statue in Hawaii on the beach; with a bagpiper in Scotland; in the African bush. It&#039;s basically a big lawn goose.
Call her Fishmeal.
Jesus, what size shoe is that on the nurse?
Was this erected by the Symbionese Liberation Army? It doesn&#039;t make much sense, if not.
If I recall correctly, a bath of mild acid will dissolve marble tout de suite.
Orange vests.
BDDDB is always appropriate.
&quot;Whoever took it would have had to have terrible taste, and a forklift and a large truck to move the thing.&quot;
Fixed.
I&#039;m sorry about the tragic accident that befell the statute. Oh, and the fact that it got boosted kinda sucks too.
Two hooves off the ground means our precious Freedom (or whatever the hell that is) died in battle. Except the tummy resting on a tree may mean it actually died due to obesity-related complications.
There&#039;s a Kobe Bryant joke in here, too, somewhere ....
I dunno, but I bet their son would be named Andy
world&#039;s ugliest monopoly token
Around these parts, leaving something that butt-ugly -- like a ratty sofa, 1970s TV, pile o&#039; lumber -- out on the front &quot;lawn&quot; is just an invitation for someone to take it away.
<i>&quot;Hey honey, someone stole that dog-shit out in front of the house!&quot;</i>
Thanks Dok. I can&#039;t unsee that ya know.
some ghey tornado blew away her lawn