Hey Cleveland, Ready To Have A Drinky With Yr Wonkette This Sunday? Yes, You Are!
Is yr Wonkette the lady on the right? SHOW UP TO FIND OUT.
Hi, Cleveland Wonkers, do you exist? Are you a thing? You'd better be, because the GOP convention is happening in your city, and we are hoping you all didn't choose next week to get DA FUCK out of town and go somewhere that's not so full of Trump supporters, because we, your Wonkette what is called "Evan" in the ancient prophecies, are coming to see you!
Will there be a drinky thing? Yes, there will! It will be at the Tremont Taphouse (2572 Scranton Rd, Cleveland, OH 44113) on Sunday, July 17, at ... 4 PM? Yeah, let's say that.
So yeah. We need you to come have a drinky and tell us all about Cleveland, How Does It Work? And we will buy you a couple beers and you can tell us about all the amazing breweries you have in "The Midwest," wherever that is, and we will sample your wares!
[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/wont-you-shelter-yr-wonkette-in-cleveland-and-philadelphia-for-convention-time-funsies"></a>[/wonkbar]Also too, we asked recently, won't you shelter yr Wonkette as we attend these conventions? And we have THE WHOLE 18-DAY TRIP booked, except for the Cleveland part. Please do not let yr Wonkette be homeless, or have to pay 850,000 Ameros per night to stay in an AirBNB that is currently not available! We promise, we are a nice house guest, and we will pet your dogs and your cats all good-like! Hey, maybe you can run around with us while we do convention funtimes type things! Email us at Evan at Wonkette dot com and we will work out the details.
So, those are your assignments.
Come to drinky thing.
Let us stay at your house.
(????)
PROFIT.
See you in Cleveland!
The city of Cleveland is doing its part to keep the party going (with the convention lasting from July 18-21) and has allowed bars and restaurants to apply under a new state law for a waiver to serve alcohol and remain open until 4 a.m. during the relevant days. In May, the city released a list of establishments that had applied for the convention stretch, and the roster was of course dotted with the names of strip clubs. http://www.thedailybeast.co...
Aggh.
EDIT for context: I am that pointless thing, a Sharks fan.