175 Comments

Not a good conman. Daddy money. Never had to hustle.

Expand full comment

Robocalls by Mike Pence seems a bit redundant.

Expand full comment

I gave him money, also! So I think it's okay for you to vote one extra for me, too! Because, corporations, or Citizens United, or something?

Yep. Totally pretty sure.

Expand full comment

Republicans: The Party of Personal Responsibility™! Look at him taking all the responsibility of blaming his problems on former President Scapegoat. What a brave fellow, indeed.

Hopefully that marketing slogan will continue to fail to serve them, in much the same way that gun sales have tanked because there's no more "gun grabber" in the White House.

Expand full comment

Well, this will certainly scare the Republicans...into redistricting the state to make such close elections impossible again.

Expand full comment

Death God Libelz!

Expand full comment

Cruzis altogether ooky.

Expand full comment

It's been SUCH a terrible year i feel like we're owed a win.

On the other hand, it's been SUCH a terrible year and the hits just keep on coming.

Expand full comment

Dust in the windRepublicans are dust in the wind

Expand full comment

I think Heidi thinks whatever keeps him out of TX keeps him in his seat. the second we realize what a prick he is (and he has been known to bully state legislators just like he does house members), he's done for. besides: a) Cornyn is recruiting someone to primary Ted Cruz and b) we have Beto O'Rourke running for the seat and he is HOTTT!!!

Expand full comment

No chance. There's bound to be a bunch of "wants to take all the guns" and "wants to let people marry horses" and "I saw him in the closet with Sharia and they were making babies and the baby looked at me" type stuff that will ensure Kansans, again, spite themselves out of sheer stupidity.

It's like the old tale where a frog let's a Kansan ride on its back to cross a river. When they reach the middle of the river, the Kansan jumps off, sinks to the bottom, and drowns. The frog, seeing the Kansan's ghost on the other side of the river says "Dude, WTF?!?" The Ghost of the Kansan says "FREEDOM, BITCHES!!! Kansas woo-hoo! We won so shut up!!!"

Expand full comment

"I know it's not my place, Mr. President, but maybe you shouldn't try emulate Mr. Bannon's uh, style."

Expand full comment

I'm looking forward to your starring role in the next James O'Keefe expose.

Expand full comment

I'm only registered to vote in PA, DE and MD, so I'm gonna hafta sit this one out.

Expand full comment

I hope he knows that my standard contract requires that I be filmed committing voter fraud only from my left side. Because otherwise, there will be litigation.

Expand full comment

Only registered in CA, MA and CO so I can't help either.

Expand full comment