Hey Look, A North Carolina Politician Who Isn't A Gay-Hating Dicknozzle

Good guy.

[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/north-carolina-governor-suffering-extreme-case-of-butthurt-please-send-butt-medicine"></a>[/wonkbar]Tuesday, we told you the story of gay-hatin' Republican North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory, who is appalled and upset and giving life a total thumbs down right now, over how some gaygenders have the audacity to sue his state in federal court over its recently passed anti-LGBT hate law. So rude of them! We chose to tell McCrory's story via hilarious pictures of babies crying, because of course we did.

Now, we get to tell you a BETTER story, about a politician in North Carolina who is NOT a total dumpster-shart like Pat McCrory. It is North Carolina Attorney General Roy Cooper! He is a Democrat who is running to unseat McCrory in November, he loves the gays, and he will not be defending that piece of shit law in court, no siree, boy howdy!

We shall tell you the best parts of HIS statement with pictures too, but how about instead of crying babies, we do happy puppies? Yes! First, have some video so you can follow along:

</center> <p/><blockquote>We should not even be here today, but we are.</blockquote> <p>He means it's pretty fucking dumb that in the Year Of Our Lord 2016 we are actually sitting here talking about how North Carolina was just chicken-banging dumb enough to codify anti-LGBT discrimination into law in the form of HB 2. These puppies agree: </p><p><img id="7004b" data-rm-shortcode-id="67461e90f2e90c9eeec42b31446db1aa" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" class="rm-shortcode " loading="lazy" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY3NTU1NC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTcwNzM5MTgwOH0.E-ca_hYUcD2q-a5w1BO43Lm4zV4knpw4AxlJxprYvFE/img.gif?width=980" /> </p><p/><blockquote>Not only is this new law a national embarrassment, it will set North Carolina's economy back if we don't repeal it. And that means there'll be a negative impact on innocent people who work hard every day and pay their taxes. They don't deserve to lose money because of this.</blockquote> <p>The "this" he's talking about is how the North Carolina legislature is full of goat-screwing wingnut Republicans, and also the governor probably romances goats in his spare time, and how again, HB 2 is a bad law, and it should feel bad. Know who <em>shouldn't</em> feel bad? This puppy: </p><p><img id="3b461" data-rm-shortcode-id="771903a56e5bc540ce0fc4195476369d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" class="rm-shortcode " loading="lazy" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNjk0NTI5Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY5NjMyMjY1M30.UxpOpxCo0yKK8HdU1hxzOitXh8d-bavu32-I4Wq1EBA/img.gif?width=980" /> </p><p/><blockquote>[Our office] will not defend the constitutionality of the discrimination in House Bill 2. The reason is this: Since 2001, my office has had its own nondiscrimination policy that includes, along with other protections, marital status and sexual orientation, two classes not protected by the state. I believe ... that our policy is not only the right thing to do, but it sends a necessary and vital signal as we recruit and retain the very best and brightest employees here at the department of justice.</blockquote> <p>We like this attorney general guy! He's very nice, and also he's kind of hot in a daddy sort of way, so there's that. Of course, talking about his own sexxxy nondiscrimination policy just makes him look even better, especially as he points out how he kind of wants to attract <em>good</em> people, and states and companies that are total shitheads to the LGBT community are pretty bad at that. Which is <a href="https://wonkette.substack.com/p/north-carolina-republicans-pass-bill-telling-transgaysexuals-to-eff-right-off" target="_blank">what he's been saying</a> all along, warning from the beginning that the "shameful" law would "not only cause real harm to families, but to our economy as well." </p><p>Attorney General Cooper is not bad. He is good, like this puppy: </p><p><img id="1929c" data-rm-shortcode-id="5acbc4084569b68d07f8cb92f569cfef" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" class="rm-shortcode " loading="lazy" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY3NTU1NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTcxOTgwMTY0N30.r1HKzFozgEu99_xMmdatV4lNi07gZctWbJGGy0ykiHg/img.gif?width=980" /> </p><p>Cooper explains that HB 2 is <em>also</em> in direct conflict with the nondiscrimination policy in North Carolina's treasury department, and says he will defend <em>that</em> instead of Gov. McCrory. He encourages the governor to go get his own fucking lawyer if he likes this law so much and then reiterates the obvious: </p><p/><blockquote>We shouldn't have to be dealing with these lawsuits int he first place. This shameful new law has brought them upon us. Discrimination is wrong, PERIOD. The governor and the legislature should repeal this law. Repeal ... will begin to repair our national reputation.</blockquote> <p>[wonkbar]<a href="https://wonkette.substack.com/p/georgia-gov-nathan-deal-kicks-gay-hatin-wingnuts-right-in-their-tiddlywinks"></a>[/wonkbar]Cooper concludes by punching Gov. McCrory in the balls (FIGURATIVELY), mentioning how Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal is obviously a far superior governor, because he <a href="https://wonkette.substack.com/p/georgia-gov-nathan-deal-kicks-gay-hatin-wingnuts-right-in-their-tiddlywinks" target="_blank">vetoed</a> his own state's shitty anti-gay "religious liberty" bill. And then he's like "Seacrest out!" and takes questions from reporters. </p><p>We could transcribe this whole video for you, it's that good. But we don't want to. We'd rather tell you to watch it for yourself, and also look at this picture of a happy dog, who happens to be <em>our</em> dog. We bet Attorney General Cooper would give her the belly scratches she deserves, UNLIKE THAT FUCKING ASSWAD GOV. PAT MCCRORY. </p><p><img id="1e3b3" data-rm-shortcode-id="29b650938396b96c38442f416d5a1984" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" class="rm-shortcode " loading="lazy" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY3MjQxMi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTcyMzY3MDkxOX0.9cgpxM8bjsWZWoya1uKp3zf51UnlVPl_mIKFQoMr1kc/img.jpg?width=980" /> </p><p>[<a href="http://www.advocate.com/politics/2016/3/29/north-carolina-attorney-general-wont-defend-governors-national-embarrassment" target="_blank">The Advocate</a>]</p>