216 Comments
User's avatar
L. Ron Pony  πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦'s avatar

Or a mop and bucket.

Expand full comment
L. Ron Pony  πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦'s avatar

One can feel sympathy for Al Bundy. Ted? Not so much.

Expand full comment
L. Ron Pony  πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦'s avatar

We're going to need more tablets.

Expand full comment
Hiptobesquare's avatar

"Maybe Ted Cruz should not be forgiven. Maybe, instead of offering his prayers, he should try harder to not be a dick."You nailed it. Sadly, though, no matter how hard Joe McCarthy's evil twin tries, he will always be a dick. It's in his genetic code.

Expand full comment
L. Ron Pony  πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦'s avatar

Could we maybe go with 'None of them, Katie'?

Expand full comment
L. Ron Pony  πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦'s avatar

The gene pool needs a LOT of chlorine.

Expand full comment
L. Ron Pony  πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦'s avatar

True, but they're called the Deep Ones, and 'deep' is not a word that has anything to do with the vicious little twerp.

Expand full comment
L. Ron Pony  πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦'s avatar

I'm not sure Cthulhu would BE the lesser evil, this time.

Expand full comment
Lefty Mark's avatar

He might do better if he changed it to Carnival.

Expand full comment
Lefty Mark's avatar

A gaffe is defined as a remark that accidentally reveals the truth, so this qualifies.

Expand full comment
Lefty Mark's avatar

That would be the most likely response if you asked the question around here. No one knows who Ted Cruz is, and if you told them, they still wouldn't care. He's a nobody.

Expand full comment
diditweetthat's avatar

What's another words for Ted Cruz's scrotum? ... Ted Cruz. Hey, you don't even need a punchline to punch that Canadian Looney Tunes.

Expand full comment
Rabbit_Rebozo's avatar

Cruz is a father too...

Ewww. That means there are people who actually have to look at that pasty puss and say "I love you, Daddy." There is no God.

Expand full comment
deVivre's avatar

As far as I can tell Christianity and Islam are two great evangelising forces obsessed with expropriating and demonising the ancient texts of a particular extant tribe you don't much like, and you can be as atheist as you like but the Christian teachings you received have done their job, you sure ain't any kind of rational humanist with vile comments like that. By all means criticise the texts (ancient BS), this comment is about showing some decency.

Expand full comment
Charon's Avatar's avatar

These people show repeatedly that they have no empathy for anyone other than themselves or their cohort. They have no way of feeling their way into the experiences of others. They are nothing more than the worst sort of opportunists who hope to capitalize on the misfortune and welfare of others.

Expand full comment