141 Comments

Made of coke and hand-painted. The perfect Christmas gift.

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Maybe we should start a shop-security business together.

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He was making rich assholes look bad, so some other rich assholes made a few phone calls.

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Had a dingleberry decide to make a shake-n-bake meth cooker out of a half-gallon Jack Daniels bottle. He had it in the back seat of his car when it decided to go kaboom.The bottle, being glass, sent bits everywhere, and a choice piece slashed his throat. Low-speed crash into ditch later, and this guy received a nomination for a Darwin Award.Yes, it was in Florida.

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That was no assignment,it was a job application.

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If they did that, the entire GOP House caucus and the Preznitshul candyasses would be perp-walking.

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Sounds like a fun night in Vegas.

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This is why we must NOT outlaw plastic bottles!

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So if we teach them about something, it's an open invitation to do the thing?Ahhh, it's all starting to make sense now.No wonder Texas doesn't teach about slavery, the holocaust, birth control, health insurance...

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Next weeks lesson: how to launder that profit and reinvest it to make your new business grow.

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He'll be in a country club prison anyway. I'd rather see him receive a lifetime ban[hammer] on trading.

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I'm just a muleYes, I'm only a muleAnd I'm sitting here in Texas in school...

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After a century of letting the petrochemical industry do as it pleases, many Texans do have 12 toes now.

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Finally, a lesson the kids will pay attention to.

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I'm holding out for a baker's dozen.

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Approved by the Texass School Board Curriculum Committee.

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