479 Comments
User's avatar
miss_grundy's avatar

William Safire's conspiracy theories about Hillz are still out there twenty-some odd years after he wrote them and they were all mentioned ad nauseam during the last election cycle. Pizzagate will never die as long as their are nutbags willing to believe any conspiracy that makes her out to be a villain.

Dashboard Buddha's avatar

I was just about to say the same thing. And I live on a fucking island, the store is closed, and we don't even have pizza sauce that I can pour over toast, mozzarella, and..and...shit...we don't have any kind of deli meat, pepperoni or otherwise in the house. We do have some velveeta though. Fuck

John Norris's avatar

Hide them in closed Walmart mega-box stores.

Maybe's avatar

Because it would be harder to blame those on Clinton.

Get Off My Lawn's avatar

The local DC news said no shots were fired, but they've been wrong before. Did I miss something?

The Librarian's avatar

Omfg! This urban legend needs to be put into a dump far away and the earth salted.

phoenix00's avatar

Because they'd rather be the traffickers and slave-owners?

phoenix00's avatar

Was it unpresidented?

phoenix00's avatar

It's a special kind of ignorance and separation from reality.

phoenix00's avatar

Sounds like there isn't exactly much of a diverse market.

phoenix00's avatar

And here I thought these folks were firmly on the Blue Lives Matter side of the rioters barricade.

shocktreatment's avatar

"We do have some Velveeta though."

What, you need to putty a window?

Jaywho'sfat, last time I was suffering from critical munchies, home repair was far from my mind...

shocktreatment's avatar

The pizzagate gunman, one "Edgar Maddison (2 Ds, no waiting!) Welch pled guilty to compound douchebaggery and aggravated stupidity or some such. He got 4 years.

The imbecile fired several shots because he couldn't get into a locked cabinet. Thankfully, through no fault of his own, the defective didn't hit anyone. He was genuinely surprised there were no children for sale.

CafeenMan's avatar

So did they put child meat on the pizzas? I want to try that - extra cheese and well done.

CafeenMan's avatar

Where did the dirt from digging a cavern go?