Hillary Clinton Definitely Shouldn't Run Again, And Other Advice No One Needs To Worry About

Probably not too big a concern

So, in reply to a preposterous article in Politico arguing that there's every reason to believe Hillary Clinton is planning a 2020 presidential run (no, there really isn't), the Washington Post's Chris Cillizza wrote a very serious post Monday arguing why Hillary Clinton should absolutely not run in 2020, and also Democrats had better stop her if she tries. Cillizza called the Politico piece "purposively provocative"; we'd just plain call it trolling. But he had to go and reply, and so we must needs reply to Cillizza, who really could have stopped himself right after his own first question: "Why?" There's no reason to think she wants to, or that she has any intention of doing anything but receding into Elder Stateswoman land. Everything after that is a very good argument for why Hillary Clinton should definitely not do this thing that she's almost certainly not even remotely thinking of doing, and why Democrats must stop her if she does, which she won't. But apparently it needed to be said.

With that in mind, we would like to offer some ideas for future columns to Mr. Cilizza:

• The Coca-Cola Company Should Not Try To Bring Back 'New Coke'

• Barack Obama Should Not Audition For Dancing With The Stars 

• A Hip-Hop Biography Of William Henry Harrison? Too Soon!

• Sarah Palin Should Turn Down The Job of Secretary-General of the United Nations

• Pope Bernie Sanders? We Don't Think So!

• Can Donald Trump Hope To Maintain A 90% Approval Rating?

• Why Breaking Bad Simply Won't Work As A Musical Comedy

• Have Italian Cars Become Too Reliable?

• I Sure Wish Aaron Sorkin Would Write Something Preachy For A Change

Please add your own suggestions for Chris Cilizza columns in the comments, which we do not allow. Also, please send us money, because we're totally ad-free now and Rebecca is making us say this in every damn post.

[ Politico / WaPo ]