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Hispanic Voter El Jeb Bush Appalled By Donald Trump's Cinco de Mayo Racisms!
Remember May 5, the Mexican Cinco de Mayo holiday, when Donald J. Trump decided to pander at Latino voters by tweeting, "I love the Hispanics!" accompanied by a picture of himself posing with a vaguely Tex-Mex taco bowl prepared by his hired help in the Trump Tower restaurant? And then all the Hispanic voters were like " Arriba, Arriba! Andale, Andale! " and immediately became Trump supporters because they knew he was legit one of them now?
Poor loser Jebbers McLoser Bush, who lost the GOP primary but HARD, has some thoughts about that, which he told to the Dutch newspaper NRC Handelsblad, because we guess the Dutch felt like interviewing a loser that day:
“What Trump did was so insensitive,” Bush told NRC. “First, not all Hispanics are Mexican. Secondly, not all Hispanics eat tacos. Thirdly, showing your sensitivity by eating an American dish is the most insensitive thing you can do. Fourthly, to say this, next to all things he already said, is a further insult. It’s like eating a watermelon and saying ‘I love African-Americans.’”
That is all completely correct! Good lord, where was this Jeb Bush during his oh so pathetic, not-even-sure-my-mom's-gonna-vote-for-me campaign?
[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/atencion-hispanos-jeb-loves-latino-stuff-like-his-wife-vota-el-jeb"></a>[/wonkbar]Oh yeah, that's right, Jeb, the man who actually registered as a Hispanic voter by accident, was doing his own pandering. He got very angry in Spanish, about Donald Trump calling all the Mexicans drug-crimers and rapists, though when he expressed his feelings in English (PROBABLY HIS SECOND LANGUAGE) it was more like, "Squeak squeak! Donald Trump is a bad man and he makes me sad!" And then he sticked his tail between his legs and went and cried to his mommy, who told him, for the last fucking time, to go away, little boy.
[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/jeb-bush-tells-his-beloved-hispanic-culture-to-go-back-to-mexico"></a>[/wonkbar]And even though Jeb! was no fan of that dirty "multiculturalism" thing, he was at least sensitive enough to the Mexican Hispanics that he wouldn't call them "anchor babies." No, that was a term he reserved for the Chineses. And he married a Mexican lady, so we're pretty sure that means Jeb is the most Hispanic candidate to ever run for president of ANY of the Americas, right?
[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/jeb-bush-baffled-by-zippers-magnets-life-itself"></a>[/wonkbar]But again, his comments on Trump's Cinco de Mayo thing are spot on! When did Jeb Bush grow a dick, that he did not immediately step on and get stuck in his own zipper at the same time?
Anyway, Huffington Post notes that Jebbington is still so very sad about how hard he got boned by Trump that he refuses to support him in November. But he also says he's not voting for Hillary, so we guess he's either staying home or voting for Jill Stein in protest.
Haha, just kidding, Jeb will probably roll over like a baby and vote for Hillary when his mom tells him he has to sleep in the backyard again if he doesn't. (Oh shut up, you fucking KNOW Barbara Bush is voting for Hillary, don't be A Idiot.)