1235 Comments

OHHHH LOOK the republicans read his article and are getting all excited about appliances, look at the House floor for next week.

HR 6192 Hands Off Our Home Appliances Act

HR 7645 Liberty in Laundry Act

HR 7637 Refrigerator Freedom Act

*Not Making This Up*

So far beyond satire ....

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So the conclusion I'm drawing is David Brooks had a column due, decided he couldn't complain about food AGAIN, and this is what he came up with. "Mom, can we get Andy Rooney?" "We have Andy Rooney at home."

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Well, at least he wasn't writing love letters to the rethuglicans again.

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Like a pervy Andy Rooney, just grabbing the things that irritate him and sexing them up.

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Well, Andy was funny and not horny, so he already has 2 virtues over Brooks!

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I am an old man and a recent recipient of an iPhone. It is supposed to do all sorts of things but figuring out how to do them makes me glad i have a daughter to explain these things to me. I sympathize with Brooks but not that much. It's hard to feel sad for someone who makes a hell of a lot more money than I did for writing whines like this.

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Well now I have thought about it.

Gross.

How does he still have a job?

How does he have a job writing about Biden being old?

Does he own a fucking mirror? Can he count?

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Andy Rooney lived for years off "Have you ever been annoyed by..." pieces.

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But Andy Rooney never tried to sell civility as the antidote to fascism... that's much more dangerous than merely being a curmudgeon.

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Brooks has not had anything worth reading to say in a long time (ever).

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My eyes...they are burning...

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REAL ACID?

MY EYES! THE GOOGLES DO NOTHING.

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I don't see anything wrong with Brooks. I used to desire wild, raunchy, no-slots-barred sex with my old toaster. Now I have a Ninja air fryer that cooks my toast and bagels and I can't find any way to launch into the thing. Help me, Obi Wan, help me!

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Joe's Garage!

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(glances romantically at dishwasher)

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Dishwasher? Wow! I'll bet that would put a strain on Rule 34. (Goes to trash bin, looks for toaster that Mrs. Dudley threw out in a fit of jealousy....)

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Brooks seems like the kind of guy who hasn't updated his operating system since the mid-90s, and I mean that in every conceivable way it can be interpreted.

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What the fuck is wrong with him?

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Apr 7·edited Apr 7

Oh, man. Have always loathed David Brooks, ever since he wrote the Olive Garden is for plebes only.

Charles Pierce refers to David's dog as a canine named Moral Hazard, a frequently used David phrase as in "giving food to hungry people is a Moral Hazard."

I'd like to bitch slap him (David, not the dog.)

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oh and don't forget the Condescending Panini!!!

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Fancy Ivy League breads are coming to getcha!

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I watch Brooks on "Brooks and Capehart" and whenever things get serious/scary and make republicans look bad, Brooks makes a dumb joke and giggles... then moves on to both sides crap.

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I don't know if the jokes are part of his PBS News Hour schtick but the both sideserism is. the problem is this sounds reassuring to a lot of people. Like we are still in balance when we are most decidedly not.

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Yeah I think he is trying to reassure listeners, but it just grates on me.

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Shorter Brooks: "If we were just *nicer* to fascists, they wouldn't fascist quite so hard"

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I'm pretty sure there was a Twilight Zone episode about this.

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Sometimes my electronics go haywire and I make nice to them... tell them they are loved...and sometimes they start working again. But, I draw the line at BJs! Brooks has gone haywire and I won't make nice to him. I will use my secondary method of getting anything to work...hit it really hard with a hammer!! It might not help Brooks, but I'm gonna feel better!! 🔨

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To be fair one of the troubleshooting steps for early apples was to drop it ~ 3ft to the ground.

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I have a friend who, back in the early Apple days you're invoking, started a small company called Smack-a-Mac, whose sole product was a small stuffed fabric replica of the early Macs. The idea was that when you got frustrated with your computer, you would, well, smack this little toy instead of smacking your Mac (which, as you pointed out, was sometimes the only way to get it to work again). Needless to say that his company lasted only as long as it took those little toys to become popular enough to garner Apple's attention, at which time a cease-and-desist threat was delivered to him.

He thought about fighting it, but realized there were more creative and less legally dangerous ways to employ his talents. Apple won the battle. I wish I could say my friend won the war, but he did live to at least fight another day.

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