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HOT TAKE: Maybe James Comey Is Stupid And Craven And Terrible And The Worst
It's been a couple of days since FBI Director James Comey dropped the turd sniffed 'round the world, by sending a Snapchat to members of Congress that says "Psssst! Update on Hillary Clinton's evil emails, but I can't tell you what it is!" And since then, we think maybe things aren't really going according to plan!
[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/anthony-weiners-dick-explodes-all-over-hillary-clintons-emails"></a>[/wonkbar]For one thing, America is finding out just how stupid and potentially unrelated to Hillary Clinton Comey's announcement is. As Newsweek 's Kurt Eichenwald reported, the thing the FBI is looking at is emails from Huma Abedin that she transferred between email accounts so she could print them out for Grandma Hillary, who likes to read important things on paper, preferably with her spectacles on. In fact, it's very likely the stuff the FBI now has is stuff it has already sifted through. But they found it on Huma Abedin's laptop, that Anthony Weiner also might have used for dick sexting, so it's new and different, right? Pfffffffft.
[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/comey-hearings-just-a-bunch-of-house-republicans-stepping-on-own-dicks-again"></a>[/wonkbar]Comey has said he HAD to tell Congress about this, because he promised this summer -- remember, back when the FBI's extensive investigation found Hillary had done nothing criminal with her emails -- that if something new came up, he would tell them. Of course, when he sent the letter, the FBI didn't even have a warrant to look at the new, exciting emails. ( It does now. ) So, even if he HAD to tell Congress when he found a new thing, we don't think a vague letter that doesn't actually explain The New Thing, because they haven't even looked at The New Thing to find out if it's A Thing, counts as "updating Congress."
Basically, at this point, all James Comey has managed to do is give Donald Trump, his rabid Hillary-hating supporters, and Rep. Jason Chaffetz, the leader of the Hillary Emails Witch Hunt, a giant boner, for going after Hillary some more.
Maybe James Comey is stupid. Seriously.
We now know that Justice Department officials told Comey before he sent the letter that this is not how things are done, he'd be violating DECADES of Justice Department practices, therefore do not send this letter to Congress:
Justice officials reminded the FBI of the department’s position “that we don’t comment on an ongoing investigation. And we don’t take steps that will be viewed as influencing an election,” said one Justice Department official who spoke on the condition of anonymity to describe the high-level conversations.
“Director Comey understood our position. He heard it from Justice leadership,” the official said. “It was conveyed to the FBI, and Comey made an independent decision to alert the Hill. He is operating independently of the Justice Department. And he knows it.”
On top of that, former Justice Department spokesperson Matt Miller said Comey "forgets that he works for the attorney general" and that he "has come to believe that his own ethics are so superior to anyone else’s that his judgment can replace existing rules and regulations." Former Attorney General Eric Holder is absolutely appalled by what Comey has done, and even Alberto Gonzales, who served as attorney general under Gee Dubya Bush, said on MSNBC Monday morning that ahem, no, he probably would not have done what Comey did. For even more on just how far outside his lane Comey has gone on this, read Jane Mayer's excellent reporting in The New Yorker .
So! Maybe on top of being stupid, Comey is too big for his little big boy britches!
And now all these mean elected officials are yelling at Comey for being such an idiot. Sen. Harry Reid fired off a HOLY SHIT letter to the FBI director, accusing him of violating the Hatch Act, which prohibits federal officials from meddling in free and fair elections. He also said that oh by the way, from communications he's had with Comey and other high-ranking officials, he's pretty sure the FBI has all kinds of good shit to share about Donald J. Trump's connections to the Russian government, but nobody's felt compelled to share that a week and a half before the election, have they? From Reid's truly explosive letter:
In my communications with you and other top officials in the national security community, it has become clear that you possess explosive information about close ties and coordination between Donald Trump, his top advisors, and the Russian government – a foreign interest openly hostile to the United States, which Trump praises at every opportunity. The public has a right to know this information. I wrote to you months ago calling for this information to be released to the public. There is no danger to American interests from releasing it. And yet, you continue to resist calls to inform the public of this critical information.
By contrast, as soon as you came into possession of the slightest innuendo related to Secretary Clinton, you rushed to publicize it in the most negative light possible.
Reid's letter may be the loudest, but it's not the only one; indeed, several senators, from both sides of the aisle, have sent Comey little love notes telling him to get with the fucking program. Rep. Steve Cohen of Memphis -- yr Wonkette's congressman! -- has gone so far as to call for Comey's resignation.
Meanwhile, the Hillary Clinton campaign has collected A CHILDREN'S TREASURY of government officials and newspapers and everyone else and their mother demanding the FBI disclose what it has, and also asking "What exactly the hell does Comey think he is doing here?"
Hillary's campaign is also continuing to slam Comey HARD, beginning with the message from her Friday press conference, which basically amounted to "PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN." On Saturday, Hillary told her adoring fans in Daytona Beach that Comey's decision to release this information is "not just strange, it's unprecedented and it's deeply troubling because voters deserve to get full and complete facts." Agreed!
So why did Director Comey do all this? Is it because he's dumb, too big for his britches, and also needs to get his priorities checked?
Ed Klein (eyeroll) in The Daily Mail (bigger eyeroll) suggests Comey did this because a bunch of FBI agents and also Comey's wife were all mad at him for not throwing the book at Hillary this summer, which made him very sad like a common Eeyore. Klein also says Comey was real scared that maybe congressional Republicans would end up investigating HIM for being a Hillary-lover after the election, so he figured it would be awesome to tell everybody he was investigating Hillary some more, to cover his own ass.
So maybe James Comey, on top of being all the things we have suggested throughout this piece, is also craven, and cares much more about his own
feelingsreputation than he does about the integrity of the process.
Maybe he is a Trump supporter who wants to Make America Great Again by sticking it to the liberals and throwing a wrench in this election. Trump supporters are often dumb and craven and terrible, dont'cha know!
Maybe he's just an evil motherfucker.
As usual, Wonkette is #JustAskingQuestions, but we're going to go ahead and say the answer to all of our questions is ALL OF THE ABOVE, KATIE.