Wonkette

Share this post

House Republican Nopes Out Once Everyone Discovers He's A Asshole

www.wonkette.com

Discover more from Wonkette

Wonkette is filthy, hilarious, liberal news. YOU CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH!
Over 18,000 subscribers
Continue reading
Sign in

House Republican Nopes Out Once Everyone Discovers He's A Asshole

Liz Dye
May 29, 2018
Share this post

House Republican Nopes Out Once Everyone Discovers He's A Asshole

www.wonkette.com
219
Share

This guy right here ...

Does alcoholism make you a huge asshole who forces your congressional staffers to pick up your dog's shit? Asking for a retiring Congressman from Virginia.

Last week Politico broke the news that Virginia Rep. Tom Garrett (R-Ethics Schmethics) and his wife routinely screamed abuse at congressional staffers and made them perform personal tasks, including picking up after the family's terrier when they ignored it so long that it pooped on the office floor.

Aides also grew acquainted with the couple’s dog, who often came to the office with the Garretts. Staffers were expected to watch the dog during office hours, and one aide did so over a weekend. Several aides said the couple would sometimes seem to forget the dog was in the office. When that happened, at the end of the day, aides were responsible for transporting it back to Garrett’s Washington apartment.

One source said the dog occasionally defecated on the floor and aides had to clean up the mess.

Wow, who could have predicted that a politician who tried to make teenage blowjobs illegal would be such a dick! We are just gobsmacked that a guy who proposed emergency legislation to criminalize oral sex was so careless about violating Congressional Ethics. Because the House Ethics manual specifically forbids members to use staffers for personal errands. Like driving their kids to soccer practice and ferrying the Missus to the grocery store. 

Congressman Garrett responded in a rambling, 30-minute press conference last Thursday, denouncing the report as "a series of half truths and whole lies."

Posted by Tom Garrett For Congress on Thursday, May 24, 2018

I will tell you that there is no way in heck that I’m not going to be back here in 2019 as a member of the Congress representing the 5th District of Virginia because too darn much is at stake.

BUT WAIT! Yesterday Congressman Garrett decided he would not be running after all.

Any person — Republican, Democrat or independent — who has known me for any period of time and has any integrity knows two things: I am a good man and I’m an alcoholic.

Democratic candidate Leslie Cockburn wished him well on Twitter, because she is a classy lady.

My opponent Tom Garrett has announced that he is not seeking reelection. This must be a very difficult time for him, his family and staff. It is important that he has recognized his alcohol addiction and I wish him well.

— Leslie Cockburn (@LeslieCockburn) May 28, 2018 

What she said. And also, PISS OFF, DUDE. You abused your office and forced government staffers to pick up your dogshit. That's not alcoholism -- that's being an unethical asshole.

The local GOP will choose a replacement nominee from a pool of five white guys and that one wingnut lobbyist lady who lost to Justin Fairfax in a bid to become lieutenant governor. Last month, Cook Political shifted the race from "Likely" to "Leans" Republican, and losing their incumbent won't help the GOP. Still, the district is pretty heavily gerrymandered to favor Republicans, pairing parts of liberal Charlottesville with conservative districts that voted heavily for Trump.

But Leslie Cockburn is good people. She's an investigative journalist and filmmaker who lives in rural Rappahannock County. Could she boost progressive turnout and flip enough rural voters to overcome a six-to-10 percent Republican advantage? Who knows? Depends on how big that blue wave is!

Get your ass out there and VOTE, Virginia! And the rest of y'all, too!

 Follow your FDF on Twitter! 

 Please click here to fund us. Midterms are coming, and we'll be here to keep you posted! 

[ Politico / WaPo ]

Want to just donate once?

Share this post

House Republican Nopes Out Once Everyone Discovers He's A Asshole

www.wonkette.com
219
Share
Previous
Next
219 Comments
Share this discussion

House Republican Nopes Out Once Everyone Discovers He's A Asshole

www.wonkette.com
Moomin Maiden-fully vaxxed
Aug 22

Not in m y house

Expand full comment
Reply
Share
Moomin Maiden-fully vaxxed
Aug 22

Canned the show?

Expand full comment
Reply
Share
217 more comments...
Top
New
Community

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2023 Commie Girl Industries Inc.
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great writing