How Can You Help Your Wonket Today?

Hey fuckers. You know how I, your beloved Editrix, am constantly asking you for shit? First I ask you for muneez, and then, even though you send it to me, I load the site down with so many ads it looks like a hoarder's house! (Just last week I found a cat skeleton crushed under a pile of banner ads!) Well that is my fault, for being rather a bit of a cockeyed optimist (the Wonker will provide) and also Terrible at Business, and hiring all the people in the whole wide world, if your world has only Doktor Zoom and Snipy in it, which would be a pretty good world really, actually, come to think of it.

So, okay, cool, now I want a house.

Hahaha, WHUT? A HOUSE? Not a house like this guy offered to give to me before telling me to shut my purdy mouth. Like, I don't want to own your house outright. Also, I don't want to sleep with you for it.

(Probably.)

But I am guessing there are some among you have a little house or tiny apartment in DC -- DC proper , not Fairfax, not Reston, not Silver Spring -- and you want me and my sweet old dog to live in it for say three to 12 months, either free or at a GREATLY REDUCED PRICE, because have you seen your Craigslist? $2500 for 500 square feet? That is some bullshit! Hey Craigslist! Go fuck yourself!

So let's get me out of LA, say, in February or so. I hear DC is lovely that time of year! Email me at rebecca at wonkette dot com and offer me your groovy bachelor fuckpad, or your tiny shithole! I'm not picky. (I am actually picky.) Also: pix or GTFO.

I love you.

Love,

Editrix