668 Comments

Pro wrestlers are not actually shy about their bodies nor do they care about looking silly. It goes with their jobs. Hence Dwayne Johnson playing the tooth fairy. Maybe the humiliation for Cena would be the Birkenstocks instead of the fancy boots of most wrestler's outfits.

Expand full comment

Okay, but Illuminati Cock Shame would be an awesome name for a punk band.

Expand full comment

"whereby famous people publicly humiliate themselves in order to join the illuminati or the masons or some other evil satanic group they imagine is out here trying to control the world."

Unlike the god botherers who humiliate themselves constantly but don't have the self-awareness or sense of shame to actually be humiliated by their actions.

Expand full comment

Personally, if I'm going to look at some famous guy walking around stark naked and holding an item in front of his junk, I would *far* rather watch Jon Hamm doing it. Cena's bloated body just made me grateful they managed to cover it up by the end.

Expand full comment

It's cool seeing Robyn get horny on main!

Expand full comment

Wait.

You get to join the illuminati via frat boy hazing stunts?

VERY SERIOUS!

Expand full comment

These crazies have a more interesting view of the world than we do, but they sure don’t have much fun. Cena is one of the good ones; he filmed an anti-bullying spot and he showed off both his sensational frame and a good sense of humor in Trainwreck.

Expand full comment

Say-- has anyone already mentioned this? Apparently the Costume Designers Guild is amid contract negotiations, and their current campaign slogan is "You're Naked Without Us." So that may have been, in addition to a bit of schtick, a sideways statement of support for the Guild. Any remaining MAGA heads are going to EXPLODE when they hear that.

Expand full comment

I hope the response to any/all of this nonsense was:

What secret organization are you joining? Surely a comment that stupid was the public humiliation required for you to gain entry …

Expand full comment

I’m getting an idea. I sometimes get plastered on Memorial Day Weekend. This year I’ll go to the beach and work on a book based on all these far out Illuminati theories these weirdos come up with. I’m going to make it the same length as The Great Gatsby and sell it online with ads I post on BrightBart or whatever they read. I’ll pull a Jaqueline Susann and say it’s based on real people like she did when she sold Valley of the Dolls. I’ll make a fortune. I’ll be a millionaire by August. Just in time for my birthday.

Expand full comment

So, joining the Illuminati is a lot like Hell Week at a fraternity?

Count me out.

Expand full comment

Wrasslin's fake, but I admit I like to watch men in spandex panties. At least Cena has the body to carry off that stunt.

Expand full comment

i too was feeling decidedly sexist about the whole thing. its like the new baseball uniform pants - the tighter the better boys

Expand full comment

The best "costume" moment of the Oscars still has to be a posthumous award given to Edith Head, who famously opined that "clothes should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady" - one of the presenters was a quite scantily clad Jennifer Lopez.

Expand full comment

Public humiliation is what Andrew Tate does every time he puts up a new video. And q- anoners are the only ones who believe adrenochrome will keep you young so I have my suspicions. weirdos

Expand full comment

"Andrew Tate was also crying “humiliation ritual,” "

`

Every single person who is currently whining about this would eat T***p's shit with a smile if he told them to.

Expand full comment

“Weak men. Hard times.”

`

"I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain."

-- John Adams, 2nd President of the United States, who was probably at least as smart as Benny Johnson

Expand full comment