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Jeff, still got my guitar's avatar

So, lemme see if I have my "war status" report up to date. We are not shooting at Iran. Iran is not shooting at us or any of our assets in the M.E. Israel is not shooting at Iran but is still shooting at Lebanon. Lebanon is shooting at Israel. Iran is not shooting at Israel but may start again if Israel doesn't stop shooting at Lebanon. We're gonna need one of those spreadsheets I think.

paperlesstiger's avatar

I blame evolution.

š˜ˆ š˜³š˜¢š˜³š˜¦ š˜¢š˜Æš˜„ š˜„š˜¦š˜¢š˜„š˜­š˜ŗ ā€œš˜¤š˜Ŗš˜·š˜Ŗš˜­ š˜øš˜¢š˜³ā€ š˜©š˜¢š˜“ š˜£š˜³š˜°š˜¬š˜¦š˜Æ š˜°š˜¶š˜µ š˜£š˜¦š˜µš˜øš˜¦š˜¦š˜Æ š˜µš˜øš˜° š˜§š˜¢š˜¤š˜µš˜Ŗš˜°š˜Æš˜“ š˜°š˜§ š˜¤š˜©š˜Ŗš˜®š˜±š˜“ š˜Ŗš˜Æ š˜ˆš˜§š˜³š˜Ŗš˜¤š˜¢. š˜°š˜Æ.š˜øš˜“š˜«.š˜¤š˜°š˜®/48š˜ˆš˜¶š˜Žš˜™š˜²

https://xcancel.com/WSJ/status/2042326701300920752#m

HarryButtle, degenerate artist's avatar

I learned it from YOU, Dad!

vorpal šŸš«ā™”'s avatar

*Breaking News*

Iran is being investigated by the Department of Justice for mortgage fraud.

EyeQueue's avatar

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ambiance Chaser's avatar

One would think maga would all love the Pope.

After all, he wears a pointy hat too . . .

Free beach's avatar

Yeah but he follows a construction worker. Drumpf doesn’t even pay them.

G-7 in Space's avatar

A lot of them don't consider Catholics Christians...

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

The bad news: we have become unmoored and are rapidly falling through empty space

the good news: there is no bottom

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

Lindsay: "Excuse Me?"

Euripides Pants's avatar

With no bottom, I'm on top, with plenty on the side.

memzilla's avatar

Dear Mom:

At no time did I break into the cookie jar and steal any cookies. The individual -- namely, my sister --` lying about me is devoid of ethical standards, humility and respect.

At no time did I have any relationship with Cookie Monster or his accomplice, Elmo. My hand wave to Elmo cannot be categorized as anything other than a casual "What's up?"

I am not Cookie Monster's victim. Cookie Monster did not introduce me to Toll House Cookies. I was introduced to Toll House Cookies by chance at a friend's birthday party in 1958. The initial encounter with my cookies is documented in detail in my book, "Chocomania."

The first time I crossed paths with Cookie Monster was in the year 1960 at an event my sister and I attended together. At the time, I had never met Cookie Monster and had no knowledge of his cookie thefts and addiction.

Fake stories and images of me with my hand in a cookie jar and with Cookie Monster have circulated for years, probably because of my lying sister, prompting me to come out and address them.

Mom, be cautious about what you believe. These images and stories are completely false.

https://abcnews.com/Politics/melania-trump-declares-epsteins-victim/story?id=131891150

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

It reminds me of what's-her-name and her "I am not a witch" video.

Random's avatar

Also, more relevant to the current moment...

You can deny, deny, deny all you want, Melania. But there's plenty of pics of you and Dipshit Don danger close with Pedo Jeff and Creepy Ghislaine circulated out there.

No Quid Bro Code's avatar

In the picture of the four doing a Rat Pack photo shoot, Melanie looks high as hell.

Queen MƩabh's avatar

This past Monday I finally got an appointment with my lawyer for this afternoon at 1:30. I practically had to part the Red Sea to get it.

And he wasn't there.

He was out having a colonoscopy, which he forgot to tell his paralegal, so she made me an appointment for the same day, and he never called to reschedule. At least, that's what they told me.

So I got to meet with the senior attorney instead, which is not what I wanted, because although he is a great trial lawyer, in person he is an arrogant, condescending, manipulative narcissist without a shred of empathy for others. The 45 minutes of our meeting were spent mostly talking about HIM...what a great lawyer he is, how many cases he's won, how many days he worked on the cross-examination of my psycho cousin who at the trial wasn't actually called by the prosecution to testify and how disappointed he was about that (me too, I wanted to see him shred my cousin into confetti).

On and on about HIM. He talked over me, interrupted me, wouldn't listen to a thing I said. I couldn't respond the way I would to any other man who did this, because I can't risk him dropping my case. He has done that to other people who weren't properly appreciative of his genius.

It is quite obvious, and has been so for a long time, that neither attorney actually cares about ME as a person. Not one bit. Not one teeny tiny bit. Now I know attorneys have to remain detached, just like doctors, but this is more than that. This is actively unprofessional behavior. They could at least PRETEND to listen to me, considering that I'm paying them $200,000. That should earn me one single hour of their oh-so-precious time, once every 9 months, wouldn't you think? I would listen to a lot of people for $200,000.

In other words, it was a wasted day, wasted energy, and I am absolutely livid about it. I've had 2 glasses of wine, will now order some Indian food for delivery because I'm too angry to pick up a sharp knife and cut stuff up without risking serious injury, then take a Valium and go to bed.

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

Is it possible that his arrogant personality might actually work in your favor at trial? That once this thing happens the jury might be swayed by his style?

Waiting for Lawyer, a Theatre of the Absurd play

G-7 in Space's avatar

I'm sorry....hugs if wanted...

Hooker P Tape skipping dipshit's avatar

Melania got a heads up from Putin that the oligarchs have had enough and it's Epstein file time.

gallbladder's avatar

The useful idiot has become useless.

VaselineHabits's avatar

I certainly won't complain, but, I think back to HOW do we remove him?

We got Jan 6th 2021 the last time

lmurr's avatar

Let's hope.

Dirty Work's avatar

So what's the next generation of never trumpers goin to call themselves.

"Available for hire."

TootsStansbury šŸ‡ŗšŸ‡¦'s avatar

They have to get worse, of course, it’s what they do. How do you get worse crime being Nazi pedos?

No Quid Bro Code's avatar

GQP: Is that a challenge? What’s the line?

Wookiee Monster's avatar

In today’s episode of ā€œimagine if Biden or Obama did it,ā€ Pentagon threatens the pope.

https://newrepublic.com/post/208820/pentagon-threatened-pope-criticized-donald-trump

Anarchy Pony's avatar

First wonkette article this morning was about this.

calliecallie, aka pollyanna's avatar

"Can’t he just behave like a normal human?ā€ asked Megyn Kelly, about Donald Trump — but the answer to that one is not yet."

I read that last bit as "nyet." Still works.

No Quid Bro Code's avatar

Yeah, weird how a GQP ratfuck operation works.

https://www.thebulwark.com/p/the-campus-protest-culture-that-targeted-biden-goes-silent-for-trump-iran-anti-war

The Campus Protest Culture That Targeted Biden Goes Silent for Trump

Figuring out why anti-war activism seems so subdued.

SterWonk's avatar

> However understandable the downward trend in campus protests might be, the dynamic has become a point of frustration for some parts of the Democratic coalition who feel that anti-war and pro-Palestinian activists are tougher on Democratic officials than on Republicans. They note that even though Harris is out of office, she still gets interrupted at public events by pro-Palestinian protesters.

>

> ā€œEvery single speech that Kamala Harris gave in those 107 days, they found a way to protest her and call her a proponent of genocide. But they never did that throughout the campaign for Donald Trump, and then they never did it in 2025 when he was giving Benjamin Netanyahu a blank check to annihilate Gaza,ā€ said a former Harris campaign official. ā€œNow, when Donald Trump is threatening to do the thing that they accused Kamala Harris and Joe Biden of being complicit of, they’re silent.ā€

The least-terrible framing of it is that they expect Republicans to not give a shit about Palestinians; they expect better of Democrats.

No Quid Bro Code's avatar

The ā€œonly Democrats have agencyā€ Left withhold their votes. Dems lose seats. The get angry that the minority Democrats aren’t stopping the GQP and withhold their votes. Rinse and repeat. What a fun time!

Ambiance Chaser's avatar

It's not that campus protesters don't want Palestinians killed . . .

paperlesstiger's avatar

Trump cracked down on the universities. Any war protest now is treated as an anti-Semitic hate crime.

No Quid Bro Code's avatar

Senile Joe could do a genocide but not crack down on college kids.

vorpal šŸš«ā™”'s avatar

Astroturf... its not just for stadiums!

Wookiee Monster's avatar

Weird how all those ā€œGenocide Joeā€ posters disappeared after the 2024 election.

No Quid Bro Code's avatar

Any follow up on the ratfucking’s marks?

https://www.politico.com/news/2024/11/10/dearborn-vote-kamala-harris-trump-00188618

Dearborn’s Arab Americans feel vindicated by Harris’ loss

Ambiance Chaser's avatar

Let's hope they still feel that way when they get sent to a container in the Ugandan desert . .

SterWonk's avatar

> ā€œThey didn’t vote for Trump because they believe Trump is the best candidate,ā€ said Osama Siblani, publisher of the Arab American News. ā€œNo, they voted for Trump because they want to punish the Democrats and Harris.ā€

The phrase "cutting off your nose to spite your face" springs to mind... šŸ¤¦ā€ā™‚ļø

Mysterysurf's avatar

i've never heard of this clarinetist before, but with a name like Monty Sunshine, I figure he has to be good, right? Monty was born on this day in 1928. Here he is with Chris Barber's Jazz Band playing "Wild Cat Blues":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HV-ec20Wb3U

And here he is with more trad jazz playing "Little Liza Jane" with the Old Merry Tale Jazz Band:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oF_FmbERd-k