How Is Trump So Stupid He Believed Bibi's Iran BS? Megyn Kelly Would Like To Know!
Come, Megyn Kelly, let us grapple with the hard questions together. Also a bunch more Iran updates for you!
The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, psycho-fuck Benjamin Netanyahu is still shooting shit at Lebanon, and oh by the way the Strait of Hormuz is closed (still, or again).
Hell of a NAILING IT, Mister President Sir!
Donald Trump, for his part, is looking forward, not backward, onward to the next imperialistic bugfuck war some two-bit dictator wants to trick him into. Or maybe he’s looking forward to his next Big Mac. Or his next great big flowing shit atop his golden commode.
The military is going to stay around until the real agreement is reached, the one that was agreed to a long time ago? OK, Grandpa, let’s focus more on the pudding cup in front of us, less on the confusing thoughts in our pudding brain!
Also amazing that a man who hates our troops so much, who thinks they’re total suckers and losers, is so confident that they’re all super excited to go die for less-than-no-reason in his next war.
As for the thing about NO NUCLEAR WEAPONS, it is indeed the case that the Iranian 10-point plan for fucking Donald Trump up the ass without the aid of his preferred wall-ketchup lubricant says Iran gets to keep the right to enrich whatever it wants, a right it’s been exercising ever since Trump ripped up the nuclear agreement Barack Obama negotiated, the one that was working. At least the Farsi version of the 10-point plan, the one the Trump regime has zero translators capable of interpreting, includes that line.
(Wonkette pal Jeff Tiedrich lightly suggests this morning that it might have been a miscalculation for the State Department and FBI to fire all those Iran experts and Farsi translators. Seems like everybody’s got Trump Derangement Syndrome these days!)
JD Vance understands that Iran isn’t giving up the right to enrich shit, but he says it’s kind of like how his shrew wife has the right to skydive but actually she is not allowed and she knows it. No, really, he said that.
“[T]he second thing [Iranian Parliament Speaker Mohammad Bagher-] Ghalibaf said, which again I found fascinating, is he said ‘we refuse to give up the right to enrichment. and I thought to myself, you know what? My wife has the right to skydive, but she doesn’t jump out of an airplane because she and I have an agreement that she’s not gonna do that, ’cause I don’t want my wife jumping out of an airplane.”
Cool, nothing to worry about, everything has been a smashing success and the ceasefire that isn’t actually a ceasefire is going great and the military is ready to die in whatever war Putin or Netanyahu or a big strong man with tears in his eyes out of a hallucinated “sir” story tells Trump to start next, whatever he thinks will serve as a good distraction from the fact that he’s the most commonly named person in his dead child rapist best friend Jeffrey Epstein’s child rape files.
Unfortunately for Trump, it sounds like the rest of his party isn’t so confident. It sounds like lots of Republicans on the Hill are pretty sure his little dumbfuck adventure in Iran cost them whatever remained of the midterms.
Politico reports, post-imaginary-ceasefire:
“This war in Iran almost cements the fact that we lose the midterms in November — the Senate and House,” [a person close to the White House] said.
Great, now [a person close to the White House] has TDS too.
Obviously it’s not just Iran, as Politico notes. It’s that Trump is a loathed failure in every way. Republicans were already losing every special election royally, or losing massive amounts of ground in their easiest districts. And guess what’s not getting any better? Kitchen table issues! Everything is still expensive as shit. How’s those oil prices today? Going back up again, because of how the ceasefire is bullshit. And when’s that Strait of Hormuz really going to open back up? Hahahahahahaha.
Republicans acknowledge that Democrats’ affordability argument is landing. One Georgia Republican strategist pointed to the fact that the war — which has also split the MAGA base over foreign intervention broadly — “is also an affordability issue.”
“Trump’s going to own that,” said the strategist, who was granted anonymity to speak candidly.
“I don’t think any Georgia Republican who understands the Georgia general electorate would want Trump coming here,” they said. “Particularly if [Trump’s favorability is] in the high 30s or mid 30s, if he’s in the mid 30s it’d be a fucking blood bath. Holy fuck.”
Holy fuck indeedy doo!
Politico also talked to a few Republicans who are optimistic Trump will turn things around before November, but those people are dildo-witted morons, so fuck ‘em.
Meanwhile, out there in the land of Republican podcasters, oof. We were wondering if Megyn Kelly was gonna crawl right back up Trump’s ass after spending a solid day losing it over his maniacal threats to wipe out the entire Iranian population — “I am sick of this shit. I’m just — I’m sick of it. Can’t he just behave like a normal human?” asked Megyn Kelly, about Donald Trump — but the answer to that one is not yet.
Indeed, bless her heart, Kelly just cannot wrap her head around how somebody as brilliant as Dear Leader got completely rolled and tricked into this stupid war by Benjamin Netanyahu. Donald “I Have The Best Brain” Trump? Tricked? Stable Genius Donald Trump? No he never!
Enjoy some more of the glory of Megyn Kelly losing it, but not actually being wrong. (Just like Tucker Carlson earlier this week, you do not under any circumstances have to hand it to her.)
Kelly was talking to Piers Morgan. Transcript below.
“What led Trump, at 79 years old, to sit in there, in that Situation Room, where Bibi Netanyahu was seated as an equal? Trump didn’t even sit at the head of the table. Trump sat at the side of the table, and Bibi was across from him as an equal in the American situation room. What led him to sit there and buy what that guy was selling hook, line, and sinker when every other president was able to see through that liar?”
What indeed is the difference between Trump and every other president, hmmmm.
“What was it! Because he was told the next day by our own top advisers, from the chairman of the Joint Chiefs to the secretary of State to the vice president, that these are lies and that these objectives are not going to be attainable. Don’t believe him!
“We might be able to wipe out the Ayatollah, not regime change, the Ayatollah. And we might be able to decimate some portion of their missiles and their military. OK, that’s true. But the goals as stated by Trump when we actually did pull the trigger were all over the board, and to this moment, he’s pushing the BS claim that we effected regime change. No, we didn’t! It’s the same regime, just different players. There isn’t somebody more moderate in there at all. We have no reason to believe that.
“In fact, it looks like the Iranian Revolutionary Guard is in control now, which is far more radical. And the fatwa that had allegedly been issued by the Ayatollah on developing nukes is gone. Iran is more powerful economically. It controls the Strait and now is demanding the lifting of all sanctions against it.
“And what Trump did with that 10-point plan was go from Monday saying, no, not good, to Tuesday saying, very workable. We can do it as a means of saving face to bail off of his insane threats about annihilating an entire civilization.
“So I don’t know how we got here, Piers. I’d like to know just as much as anybody else, but all I can think in my head, based on what I’ve read in the paper, is we got here thanks to Bibi Netanyahu, Lindsey Graham, and Mark Levin.”
That is how it sounds in the paper!
“And ultimately, President Trump, that’s not to take agency away from the president, who was bamboozled. I don’t know why he was too weak to say no. He was too gullible to see through the lies.
“One way or another, he allowed himself to be pushed into this insane conflict.”
Nope, Meggles the Clown, we can’t figure it out either. How could Trump be so stupid?
Wait, yes, we can figure it out. We don’t want to take agency away from Donald Trump either, but yeah, he’s fucking dumb as shit and senile and easily led and bribed and cajoled and influenced and flattered, and yes, bamboozled, he doesn’t give a shit about America, and no, he doesn’t keep taking dementia tests because the doctors are so impressed by his big, beautiful brain, jesus fucking christ, there is nothing complicated about this.
We are ruled by an emotionally damaged, squirrel-brained dementia patient with the impulse control of a toddler, who doesn’t care about anything besides his own personal glory, who was the stupidest person you’ve ever met before the brain disease started to encroach, and look at him now!
Sorry to any MAGAs just coming to terms with this after it being blindingly fucking obvious for the entire time the motherfucker has been politically active.
Maybe the real ceasefire was the synapses that stopped shooting in all your decomposing brains when Trump came down that escalator in 2015.
OPEN THREAD.
[Politico]
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Another great reason for wearing a helmet when biking/scootering besides protection in a crash.
As I was riding through the crosswalk a truck flew by me and kicked up a good sized rock that popped me in the helmet, a little scary, all I could think was thank you helmet, thank you so fucking much.
Harry, a cat with RBF.
And he knows how to work it.
https://substack.com/@ziggywiggy/note/c-240657269?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=2knfuc