How Many Popes In The Pizza? Tabs, Fri., May 9, 2025

Morning news roundup! Things to watch and read!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Well this is heartening. New Pope Leo of Chicago (srsly) ain’t think Trump or Vance are shit. (Independent) It seems like just yesterday because it was yesterday that Charlotte Clymer was assuring us there would be no American pope in our lifetimes or ever! And yet she is v v happy with this outcome, so I’m hopeful too! All the worst people sure are angry :) (Clymer)

Hey, quick question: As we’re now getting torturers around the world — Libya, Saudi Arabia, you know the old gang — to jail our immigrants for us, is there a reason we’re not just deporting people back to their own countries, instead of sending them to third-country permanent torture prison? I am just curious. (Status Kuo)

Texas state AG Ken Paxton arresting judges, Messicans, Democrats for “vote harvesting” (helping people turn in their ballots) even though the new law against it is on hold while it’s being appealed. But that’s no reason not to arrest judges, Messicans, and Democrats! (The Hill)

John Fetterman is really not doing well. I am sorry. (AP)

But what if Trump dies? :) (Cassidy Steele Dale)

Weird, the Florida Lege told Ron DeSantis to fuck off, they can’t replace all the state’s migrant workers with homeschooled teens doing the meatpacking plant night shift. Surprise yay! (Newsweek)

The Newark aviation blackout was genuinely bad.

This standoff long predates Donald Trump and the Doge insanity. But the initial Doge cuts, not just at the FAA but also at NASA, NOAA, FEMA, the National Weather Service, safety review boards, and other parts of the air-safety system, have exposed far more of the system to lethal strain.

That strain is what we saw, when the radar screen and the radio transmitters in Newark went dark for 90 seconds last week. It was modern aviation’s version of The Titanic, except that luck kept anyone from being killed.

(James Fallows)

“[A]re pronouns why $67 million jets are missing their marks and going splooshity-bye?” Asked and answered. (Jeff Tiedrich)

AI slop farmers flooding Facebook and Pinterest with made-up bullshit upside-down smile emoji. (404 Media)

Among other things, the California State Bar drafted a section of its bar exam questions using ChatGPT. You’ll never guess what … right. (LA Times)

The judge’s response to the testimony of the AI dead man in the trial of his real-life killer is … that’s a stupid fucking judge. (404 Media)

Ooooh happy, my prediabetes drug Metformin might stop my bad colon from growing cancers, right-side-up smile emoji! (Business Insider via Archive)

If you send Deb Haaland $5 for her run for New Mexico gov, she will send you the recipe for her green chile chicken posole. I am pretty sure we all have $5 for that! (ActBlue)

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Mother’s Day already? Your mom needs an IMPEACH hat and she needs it bad. Don’t even pretend this is going out before next Tuesday at the earliest.

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Wonkalonks! Your pal Suzy Greenberg has seized the means of Wonkmeet production! Save the Date! Sat., June 7, she’s hosting a Wonkmeet at Camp Plymouth State Park, 2008 Scout Camp Rd, Ludlow, Vermont! She’s rented the Wedding Grove Pavillion and is thinking 1-5 p.m. $5 for adults to get into the park. Parking and restrooms nearby. Stay tuned and spread the word.

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