220 Comments

Madison James? Jefferson Thomas? Sound like names some Dixieflagger gives its trailer-park disgorgements.

Expand full comment

"Eleven renegade beard hairs" Best. Band Name. Ever.

Expand full comment

I know. I made sure to pass along to my husband, a republican on Tuesdays and Thursdays

Expand full comment

Is he wearing earrings? Or are those his ears? I keep picturing the height of American cinema, Malibu Gangsta (or rapper). Yes, you do look that fake, Ryan.

Expand full comment

And you're not dead.

Expand full comment

I find it hard to believe that Nickelback is still in the top 59 things that are screwed up in US America. Canadian things that are screwed up in US America, sure, but Ted Cruz is rapidly overshadowing them in even that category.

Expand full comment

maybe they'll be able to relate better to hillary since they all had actual white mothers as opposed to imaginary black friends.

Expand full comment

What's that Einstein quote about doing the same thing over and over with expectations of different results being a sign of something?

Expand full comment

Perchance the reason for 2 last names is because their mothers weren't certain of their biological fathers?

Expand full comment

Bourbon or gin?

Expand full comment

You may need something more potent to dull the pain... like everclear. (Shudder)

Expand full comment

My favorite State Department name: Outerbridge Horsey II. Long-lasting name in US history, in fact. Why, is the great question.

Expand full comment

Personally, I don't think that Paul Ryan will be able to break Boehner's record of 50+ votes to repeal Obamacare.

Sure, Boehner was utterly feckless as a leader. Advancing hopeless legislation as a protest because your party will oust you if you don't is pretty much the textbook definition of "miserable failure of leadership."

On the other hand, Boehner is the Lou Gehrig of Obamacare protest votes. Ryan has his work cut out for him if he is to break the record.

Expand full comment

Ted Cruz was voted "Most Likely To Be Shot In The Dick" by his high school senior class.

Expand full comment

It's so that if their first first name gets a flat, they have a spare.

Expand full comment

"Trust me"

Expand full comment