466 Comments
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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Bwak! Horror bird! It’s the Giant Claw. More info after the click: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/the-giant-claw

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Menotsure's avatar

It turns out that Big Bird was just the pupa stage.

DAMN YOU, SESAME STREET!

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David N. Brown's avatar

Biological fact, the Claw is a flamingo.

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TheGreatAndPowerfulMormos!'s avatar

So the plot is straight lifted from Godzilla. I wonder how many of those 50s monster flicks did that, 90%?

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shivaskeeper's avatar

Godzilla was lifted from Beast From 20,000 Fathoms.

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Richard S's avatar

A whole flock of them.

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Shocktreatment's avatar

A very beak deal!

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Barney's avatar

That's simply the funniest thing I've seen for ages. Thank you, thank you, thank you. MST3K couldn't have done it better. And the monster looks remarkably Muppet-like ...

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Sherry's avatar

I agree! I was thinking, “Man, did Glambassador outdo themselves on this one!”

Chef’s kiss.

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Homero's avatar

For some reason, when I heard the Time Machine on tape, I thought of the morlocks more as Muppet like than demonic

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Broderie Anglaise's avatar

That is so bad it's beautiful.

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Lucidamente's avatar

I’ll vulture a guess: this turkey did not win any awards.

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Littorally Speaking's avatar

And the studio is still bittern about it.

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catbutler's avatar

That's not what I've been heron.

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Whale Chowder's avatar

I felt like Martini was robin me of my time

Edit to fix spelling because it isn't a pun otherwise

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

I find that hard to swallow

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Fog of Jen's avatar

don't gotta crow about it

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Larry Schmitt's avatar

I thought it was going to be one of those Japanese monster movies that uses an American "star" to bring in US audiences, like "Godzilla, King of the Monsters!" did with Raymond Burr.

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Mr Canoehead/M Tête-Canoë's avatar

I read about that. All of Raymond Burr's scenes were shot after the fact and spliced into the existing complete movie, a technique that reached its zenith on Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

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Bobathonic's avatar

That was an abomination.

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eppe's avatar

For those of us of a certain age when "Get Smart" was see-TV? Did you say "Giant Craw???"

I've been living in the Cone of Silence for a while understandly.

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Internet Personae's avatar

That’s what it is I’m not hard of hearing- I’m in the Cone of Silence -

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eppe's avatar

Keep On Rockin' in the Silent World then, IP!

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Internet Personae's avatar

It’s a plus when you play fiddle -

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eppe's avatar

I am a far lower than average skilled piano and guitar player, but I truly admire violinists and cellists.

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Larry Schmitt's avatar

"Not craw! Craw!"

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tek's avatar

Missed it by this much!

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Internet Personae's avatar

Everybody wants to be a comedihen, but only Martini could pullet off without resorting to fowl play -

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Mr Canoehead/M Tête-Canoë's avatar

Martini is the nest big thing

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The Wanderer's avatar

STOP CRACKING YOLKS!

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Stroke1's avatar

Much loonacy here. Buncha boobies, and not the eggscellent kind.

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Fog of Jen's avatar

Birds of a feather and all that

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Bobathonic's avatar

EGGSACTLY!

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Uncle Betamax's avatar

BUSTARDS!

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Winner winner

…chicken dinner

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

🤣🤣

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Bobathonic's avatar

Nice! I knew this one immediately.

I saw it on Creature Feature (w/ your host Dr Paul Bearer), when I was a yoot. It was ridiculous, and yet outdoors I kept watching the skies - it gave me a touch of the heebie-jeebies.

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Richard S's avatar

Local horror hosts did so much to keep these gloriously cheesy movies around!

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LuluBean12 StarGeezer's avatar

All of these were shown after school. My kids in my 8th grade science classes and I somehow always got into discussions about them. My 9 year old neighbor kid and I were also fans of some really crappy TV sci fi show from Japan. The main suspense in that is the superhero's atomic power would be at risk of running out before the half hours show was over, and he would fail to save the day. Happily that never quite happened.

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Stroke1's avatar

Chickens ARE small dinosaurs, after all.

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Wondering Woman's avatar

I was a HUGE Dark Shadows fan. I watched the show after school, at about 4 pm. Quentin was a major crush. To this day I have no idea why my mom was cool with an 11-year old watching a vampire show.

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Sherry's avatar

Dark Shadows made us run home from school (9 yr old) to watch. To us it was great.

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LuluBean12 StarGeezer's avatar

In 1969, I was taking a 6 week long geology course out in the School of Mines in Rapid City SD. My sister in Scranton, would watch the show, audio tape it and type up the plot moves that I was missing and mail it to me. You kids today have it easy. Get off my lawn BTW.

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Sherry's avatar

LOL!!

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Annalee Tudor's avatar

I’m absolutely raven about this!

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Queen Méabh's avatar

Well rats, Angelique from "Dark Shadows" has died. My friends and I were addicted to this show in junior high school, and we all assumed various characters, and mine was Angelique. Bummer.

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goCatgo's avatar

🐔🦆🐓🦃🦅🕊🦢🦜🦩🐦😁😂🤣

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Villago Delenda Est 🇺🇦's avatar

"It's poultry in motion" "No egrets"

It's like Maritini got her content from the non-comments!

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carovee's avatar

I have very vague memories of watching Dark Shadows with my mom and loving it. Also, if you are in the fraud department of your bank, maybe don't try to defraud them over a sandwhich. Although firing does seem a bit extreme.

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littlerice vice's avatar

Anywonk have any ideas for REPUBLICANS eating their young? A menu or a side dish perhaps?

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Wondering Woman's avatar

they only make a meal out of Democrats.

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

I'd be worried about heavy metal toxicity. Probably best to put them in long-term storage.

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littlerice vice's avatar

I'm conjuring a BARON OF BARRON! Or TOSSED ERIK SALAD!

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

The best you can hope for is scrapple with that bunch.

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

I am glad the previous company I worked for was not so uptight about expense reports, as I viewed them as a daily allotment of what I needed to spend. And since I frequently had a free hotel breakfast, and the companies I was busy doing services for often fed me lunch and dinner, that meant I had $100 a day to spend on chocolates and other things to take home to the kids. I must not have been the worst at making sure I maxed out my expenses for the day, though, because I had one trip where I spent $500 on sushi (in my defense, I bought not just sushi, but also sake and beer, and did so for myself, a friend, and two of his kids), and because that trip was a last-minute trip (as in, they told me that morning they needed me in New York for a one day trip that ended up lasting a month), I expensed new clothes every few days until I had a nice 10-day wardrobe, then had the hotel do overnight cleaning after that.

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TalentNotAutotune's avatar

Oh man, I just fell in love with Angelique all over again!

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Up Here in the Clouds's avatar

My boss has less patience than Animal from the Muppets. Exhausted toddlers who are hungry and need to go potty have more self control when he gets into a frenzy of impatient randomly throwing and doing shit that makes shit disappear for now.......but always bites us in the ass later. 99% of the time if we could take 10 or 15 minutes we could do things right, not some bullshit that cascades issues into issues into issues and everything is a half ass workaround. Then you get days like today. Everything is crashing down, we have to stop everything to fix shit that was never done right, what was a 10 minute job is now an hour, and my boss is pissed we are all not giving a shit if we fix everything at triple bunny speed or at a slow steady pace. It's not our asses on the line. We've reported and documented all this shit. Our asses are covered. His? Not so much.

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Oct 17, 2023
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Up Here in the Clouds's avatar

This, think first, exactly!!!! My boss just reacts, and does not care what anyone says or suggests. We set Plano grams and deal with inventory control. He will not give anyone the time to adjust numbers, but instead has us push back stock out anywhere, usually onto end caps we need to set new displays, which don't get set, but randomly flexed out in multiple areas. Or he hordes craps until it goes clearance. Or whatever idea that is guaranteed to cause us more work pops into his brain. Plus, this year, corporate introduced several new programs to help manage inventory, but you have to complete several reports every day. He hates them and refuses to do them. Too time consuming. So, Friday is our corporate audit to be certified. We will fail. And he is shitting bricks. And none of us care, because if we could have done shit correctly from the start, we would pass with flying colors, rather than failing miserably.

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Gout Machine's avatar

So, this morning they shot the guy who killed to Swedes and injured another here in Brussels last night. He died on the way to the hospital. Good riddance.

I still can't believe it all went down like 300 meters from my hotel.

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House of the Blue Lights's avatar

Watching Angelique I'm reminded of how awful the actress who played Darla was (since she was clearly meant to evoke Angelique)

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fuflans's avatar

darla on buffy? i was thinking drusilla.

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House of the Blue Lights's avatar

No, Drusilla was not meant to be Angelique. But no question that Darla was--same time period, same origin story, same LOOKS. But absolutely terrible actress.

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Stephen. Ta, Martini. Good day, beloved Wonketteers. I love and appreciate you all and I bless us all with love, health, peace, and grace. Yes, I'm posting this super late, because I got both the new Moderna COVID-19 SpikeVax shot AND the senior flu shot (didn't know there was such a thing till I got it) after work yesterday, and I am achy. Amazing fiancé Meccalopolis has been taking excellent care of me; making sure I'm warm, fed, and hydrated. I love him unconditionally and unreservedly.

Please, please stay safe. Wear a mask or two, wash your hands, sanitize when you cannot wash and let the sanitizer dry completely, stop touching your face, take Vitamin D, get the new vaccine, avoid indoor and crowded outdoor gatherings and when you must meet, remove masks only to eat, drink, and take quick photos, and stay the fuck away from me and everyone with whom you do not share a roof. Do this because you love yourself, and because I love you, too. Do this in memory of dear departed Treg, among over seven million dead worldwide. Do this to honor the nurses and other frontline medical personnel, especially ICU Hera Mrs Land Shark RN. Stay safe.

Slava Ukraini. 🌻🇺🇦💙💛

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Pope Scipio Newburyporticus's avatar

Hmm. Something's up. In the last two weeks I've sent orders to New Zealand (twice), Brazil, Peru, Switzerland, Italy (twice), Spain, the UK, United Arab Emirates, and this morning I think for the first time - Luxemburg. And another one to Spain as I was writing this. That's a lot of international orders. Typically Tuesday is when I work on social media and promotions because it's usually the slowest day, but I guess today I need to fill about a thousand dollars worth of orders.

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