How To Moderate Your Expectations For The Sunday Shows

Expect nothing, that's how.

So there was a debate last Thursday? Yes, it was between President Joe Biden and a felonious orange baboon in an ill-fitting human suit. Apparently while one spoke softly and sometimes stumbled due to a very publicly known stutter — also maybe cold medicine — the other talked about crazy shit like “post-birth abortions” and lied through it without answering the actual debate questions.

So, naturally, panicky pundits and political media journalists have spent the last few days melting down while MAGA world has gleeful orgasms. And that is where we found ourselves on the Sunday shows.

Are You A ‘Moderator’ If You Don’t Moderate?

Returning to the scene of crime, South Carolina Democratic Rep. Jim Clyburn was on CNN’s “State Of The Union” with Dana Bash.

Clyburn did not shy away from acknowledging Biden’s performance, but called out CNN’s debate “moderators” for their lack of basic moderation.

CLYBURN: I think it all depends upon what the rules are. I don't like a debate where nobody will do any fact-checking. You just say what you want to say. You know it's a lie. The guy told 30-some-odd lies, and nobody checked him on it and said that was up to Joe Biden to do. I'm not too sure. If I ask you a question, and you lie to me with the answer, I ought to follow up and give you what the facts are and see what your reaction to that will be. So that, to me, was not the way to plan the debate. And whoever did that or agreed to that really should think about what they're doing.

BASH: Yes. OK. Well, it was a debate agreed to by President Biden first, who proposed this debate.

Bash got defensive because she was one half of the debate moderating team, along with fellow “State Of The Union” co-host Jake Tapper, who sat there letting Trump lie unimpeded. Bash’s attempts to shift responsibility under the guise of “he agreed to the rules” is pathetic. Nowhere in the debate rules did it say the moderators had to accept the questions being totally ignored in favor of easily debunked lies.

Lost in this media panic, as Clyburn pointed out, was Trump being a racist about “Black jobs.”

CLYBURN: Donald Trump is being Donald Trump. He has a very, very, very low opinion of people of color, black, brown, whatever color. He has a low opinion of black people. He's demonstrated that all of his life.

This is the problem with political media: Trump is graded on a curve because he meets their expectations for being a wannabe racist authoritarian. It’s why any time during his presidency that he kept a modicum of composure that became “the day he became president.”

Biden, on the other hand, is graded like a normal politician and not allowed the leeway given to Trump. And while Dana Bash can get defensive at Clyburn calling this out, South Carolina Republican Senator Lindsey Graham came on immediately after to confirm it and praise Bash for it.

GRAHAM: You know, Dana, you all did a good job. You let them talk. You're not fact-checkers.

Well, they certainly were not.

But if presidential debate moderators are just gonna allow this, they might as well hire game show hosts like Steve Harvey or Drew Carey. At least then we’d be honest about this being about ratings and entertainment rather than policy.

Hell, get Guy Fieri on this and make it “Diners, Drive-Ins and Debates.”

Bring debates to Flavor Town and bring on the Donkey Sauce!

How In the Fuck Are We Still Doing The GOP Veepstakes?

Moving on, CBS’s Margaret Brennan was not having any shit from Ohio Republican Senator JD Vance on “Face The Nation.”

After Brennan noted that CBS polling showed people found Trump to be a lying liar who lies a lot after the debate, Vance tried to run the old “media is biased” card. Brennan called it out.

BRENNAN: You know, I lost track, sir, I have been told the media is on every single side of this and everything's our fault. But let's get back to the candidate you're here to talk about.

That is the closest thing we’ll get to a “shut the fuck up, you pathetic lying creep” on a Sunday show.

Vance, in this writer’s opinion, seems like the most likely candidate for Trump’s new lapdog. Vance is now a loyal sycophant, comes from a state Trump needs to win and his last name sounds looks pleasing on campaign accoutrements, which is perhaps most important (“central casting”) for a shallow narcissist like Donald Trump.

But Vance was caught in moment of surprise when Brennan asked a question high school student council candidate would know to expect:

BRENNAN: What do you think your biggest accomplishment in the Senate has been to date?

VANCE: […] In 18 months, Margaret, we've done a lot of good work for our constituents. We've got hundreds of millions of dollars to the Great Lakes. We've done a lot to help the people of East Palestine deal with the terrible train disaster. […] So there's a lot we can hang our hat on.

This would seem like a good answer if those two “biggest accomplishments” weren’t funded through the bipartisan infrastructure law that Vance didn’t vote for. in fact, Vance had even less to do with it than the shameless Republicans who voted “nay,” then took credit, since the original bill passed in 2021, before Vance was even elected.

Can you “hang your hat on” things when it’s neither your hat nor your hanger?

Have a week.

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