376 Comments

He uses it as lube with the cattle back in OK. He's nothing if not a considerate lover. Allegedly.

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Watch out with lemon juice, also too. Very acidic.

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Yes to Scandahoovian genetics. I look just like my mother (her father's parents came from Norway), and my teachers always told her she looked too young to have a kid my age.Also yes to no plastic microbeads. See my comment above.

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I'm not letting my greys grow in because I hate my hair color, and, from what I can tell, it's even worse with some grey added. I didn't have lines between my eyebrows until I took an extremely stressful job.

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I learn so much from Wonkette. Come for the dick jokes, stay for the education.

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Did they misspell the name of Lil' Scotty's favorite Ass Spray ??

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Yeah, Queen Helene... I buy the bigass bottle and make sure to slather my face with the stuff before I go outside in the winter.

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It's more or less the same thing.

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This guy has a girlfriend. Just sayin'!

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I read about the antibacterial properties, too. Maybe I'll try it.

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Really none of us should. I mostly eat them on Halloween, when I get the fun size bars :D

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of course not. I'm all about cruelty free cosmetics

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TRUE FACT. Also physical exfoliants on the face are generally a bad idea anyway.

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Good clip from Bill Burr about using lotion in case you a macho dipshit like me who thinks his penis will fall off. Also too, a good argument for diversification amongst your friends

https://youtu.be/UbLjOxlGYqA

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I sure feel like I look more beautiful after bourbon.

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Micro tears in your face are bad for your skin? Huh?

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