How To Save Money On Groceries. Tabs, Mon., Nov. 20, 2023

Not this week, Satan! Morning news roundup!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Hola mon freres and schwestern, it is the beginning of US American Holiday Week, so here is your cruise itinerary! SER and Evan will be your skeleton crew today and tomorrow, bringing you like a lazy person’s idea of Wonkette. I will be here today scheduling all the stuff we pre-wrote for the rest of the week, or which I am writing right now. Wednesday morning is all recipes, bright and early, ending by … I don’t know, early, for your store trip of definitely for sure not saving any money. You will have a serial novel in a minute. Friday you’ll have a Wonkers shoppy post and cocktail, Saturday you’ll have a movie night, Sunday you’ll have ??? PROFIT!!! And I’m going on vacation bitches. I love you. Be back never, I HEREBY RETIRE!!! (Just kidding, I will never retire.) Ready, set, news!

Michigan wants to automatically register people to vote as they leave prison. Oh man I love my adopted home. (Bolts mag)

Judge Aileen Cannon giving Trump a big ol smooch for Christmas, isn’t she sweet. (Our Liz’s Law & Chaos) This New York judge meanwhile (not Arthur Engoron, obviously) lifted the gag order so’s to allow Trump to threaten Engoron’s clerk all he wants. (AP) This part is very what is the opposite of LOL though, let’s read it:

Both posts included a picture that [Engoron’s clerk Allison] Greenfield had publicly posted online of her with Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, but Trump added a falsehood about her personal life before sending it off to his millions of followers.

[Trump lawyer Christopher] Kise on Thursday characterized Trump’s addition as “political parody” and [Judge David] Friedman questioned if the blowback for Greenfield was entirely Trump’s fault, asking, “If you put something out in public and then it goes viral, who’s responsible?”

I … HE IS, YOUR HONOR, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Also “SHE’S FUCKING CHUCK SCHUMER” IS NOT “POLITICAL PARODY” WORDS HAVE MEANINGS. I think I need to start a pill addiction, that might help!

I liked this Bulwark behind the scenes look at the citizen panels judging your ballots in Mississippi.

The teen birth control case that could lose it for everyone. Imani Gandy at Rewire.

A higher-than-supermajority of Americans say butt the fuck out of trans kids’ and their parents’ and doctors’ business! — Erin in the Morning

Nightmare fuel! The shady grimy penile implant doctor who did George Santos’s campaign-funded mobile Botox! (Marisa Kabas at The Handbasket)

Noah Smith thinks we’re headed back to a Roaring Twenties but says it like that’s a good thing? I was under the impression we blew all our shit and it led to the Depression. Surely I could never be … wrong? — Noah Pinion

The 10 freeway will be open this morning by the time you hit rush hour, Los Angeles, because Mayor Karen Bass is the ORGANIZER’S organizer! — Twitter

Sort of not really relevant to the previous two! The popular LA houses built by a grifty grifterson con artist who disappeared! Also right before the Great Depression! (Atlas Obscura)

Hey hey hey, look who brought you a Nice Time! (Me. It’s me. I brought you a Nice Time.) This climate scientist says actually, thanks to some folks’ hard work, we do now have a fighting chance in hell! — Gift link New York Times

Best ninth anniversary gifts? Why do I ask? — The Knot

How to save money on groceries! Somehow I ended up on this guy’s email list. Oh I know: It was for a “pay off your student loan giveaway.” Well guess what, Joe Biden did that already, the week he paid off every 51-year-old’s student loan in the land. I should presumably unsubscribe.

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“I just feel like sending Wonkette some money, even if I maybe already do!” — You?