327 Comments

Hire Alex Baldwin to do his Anus Mouth imitation and at the end of every video he turns toward the camera and says….https://media0.giphy.com/me...

Expand full comment

Perhaps Trump can't handle the PDB for the same reason that he can't handle a press conference -- because it puts him in a predicament. Evidently, if a megalomaniac gets into a predicament, he is liable to have a psychotic episode. Imagine the CIA telling you that the Russian enemy conducted cyber-warfare to put you in office in order to hurt America. That would be disturbing for anyone, even if you weren't a megalomaniac that has to believe that everyone automatically wants you to lead them because YOU. Trump may be limited to corporate boardrooms, scripted speeches, staged interviews, and fearless leader rallies, where his megalomania is not challenged.

Expand full comment

I did miss you. I cried.

Expand full comment

I actually totally was going along with the concept of Donnie getting "worn in."

Expand full comment

But.. but... EMAILS!

Expand full comment

I still go for the old favorite, the Orange Buffoon.

Expand full comment

Right? At least Hitler had charisma.

Expand full comment

Well, that whole thing was actually just used as an excuse, didn't have much to do with anything, the major powers simply wanted a war, as I understand it. Pre WW1 the upper classes ran the wars, and they were somewhat more genteel, upper class Englishmen would say things like "What we need is a spot of war," but after the introduction of mechanized warfare, and the utter, ghastly failure of the military to adapt to it, so you had lines and lines of beautiful young men just walking into machine gun fire, or trapped in cold, muddy trenches for months, they stopped being quite so war happy. As I understand it. And yes, the "upper classes" still do kind of run the wars. They're not the ones out on the front lines. And I suppose, Putin does actually want us to go to war with someone.... GAHHH It's exactly like Franz Ferdinand!

Expand full comment

Also, "Are you chewing GUM?" *holds out stern hand, palm outstretched

Expand full comment

Just as his buddy Vlad intended!

Expand full comment

Haha! Actually got a snort over my keyboard on that one!

Expand full comment

I like Mango Mussolini better, just because of the alliteration. After January 20, I may switch to Pussy-grabber-in-chief or The Orange Hindenburg.

Expand full comment

Allegedly he hates being called by his first name only, so if thousands of people begin to refer to him only as "Donald,""Don," or "Donnie," it will probably unleash a gigantic tweet storm complete with misspellings.

Expand full comment

/me smiles, capering madly

Expand full comment

i like 'orange julius caesar', which i think i first saw here from one of the wonketariat...but yeah, my go-to is usually 'that stoopid mothafucka'

Expand full comment

Yeah, I don't know who said it first but Orange Shitgibbon is my fave.

Expand full comment