763 Comments

"Two guys lighting each other's farts in a 69 position" is a metaphor for the ages

Expand full comment

Nancy Mace accuses Hunter Biden of having no balls.

Empty Greene holds up photos of Hunter Biden proving that, yes, he does have balls.

So which is it, girlies?

Balls?

No Balls?

Side note: Nancy Mace is so odious that her side piece dumped her. Ah, I love the smell of karma in the air.

Expand full comment

impassioned pointing while speaking - she has it as an art form

Expand full comment

I have known people who were addicted to cocaine. I have been around them when they were on cocaine. They do not act like Hunter Biden sitting still in a courtoom.

They act like Deej on a 3am video rant in defense of the father who does not love him.

Expand full comment

Hunter has ridden to Capitol grounds,

bides in the gallery by lawyers flanked.

Republican House Members all mill ‘round,

knowing they’ve been conspicu’sly ranked.

Dauphin Mace proffers the Parisian balls,

conjectures that Hunter has them no more.

But gentle Greene-sleeves by her art ensures,

That all (close your eyes, kids) see them full sore.

Comer and Greene’s Hog and Porny show scene,

made of stern fluff, belligerent canard,

is just the cry of a cheap figurine

elephant that has founded its graveyard.

How long, O ‘pubs, will you try our patience?

How long, O ‘pubs, ‘til you find your conscience?

Expand full comment

You’d think Republicans being on C-SPAN all the time would be boring as hell. Instead we’ve got regular The Adventures Of Hunter’s Magic Cock story hours and John Kennedy telling us how excited he is try his new strap-on. Hot!!

Expand full comment

I need Jamie Raskin to write a book on how not to prevent your head from exploding when you are assaulted with stupid.

Expand full comment

Ta, Evan. Beautiful.

Expand full comment

"But sure, whatever she needs to believe to sleep at night without smothering her own face with a pillow."

It's 6:30 am Eastern Time and I've already had my first laugh of the day.

Or, Evan, yer killin me. And that wasn't the only funny line!

Expand full comment

I only wish Hunter had given Marge the backhand bird on his way out. That would've made my 2024

Expand full comment

"Archer demonstrated that Comer’s and Jordan’s investigation is basically just two guys lighting each other’s farts in a 69 position."

FFS, I read these things in the morning before breakfast, this is too MUCH.

(loving it!)

Expand full comment

Mace is an idiot, she knows Hunter has balls because Madge T Greene keeps showing them to everyone!

Expand full comment

The "white privilege" remark betrays the right's tendency to adopt societal tropes w/o any relevance. As their use of the word "communist" as applied to Dems also reveals.

Expand full comment

Yes, I keep saying "words have meaning!"

Expand full comment

every time i see/hear jasmine crockett i fall more in love.

D's don't have a bench? my ass we don't have a bench.

Expand full comment

Crockett, Raskin, Moskowitz, Swalwell, Goldman, and more, they expose these magas to be idiots, hypocrites, and liars every single time. I'm all in for this bench.

Expand full comment

Mace cracks me up. What an incoherent dimwit. “Win stupid prizes with the balls you don’t have to come here and spit in our faces, and such as.” Hunter is showing up. He’s present and not hiding from these buffoons. And once this becomes a federal lawsuit regarding compliance with the subpoena, Hunter and his actually competent lawyers will get the public hearing. Why are conservatives so terrified of Hunter Biden? Probably because he’s far more intelligent and candid and humble than they have answers for. He just might prove likable, and make the gop look petty and cruel. Plus, Hunter just rocks. Let’s admit it. Dude has his dick in the congressional archives while doing blow off a stripper’s butt. Jealous, conservatives?

Expand full comment

I think Hunter is good looking, like old Handsome Joe Biden.

Expand full comment

"He just might prove likable, and make the gop look petty and cruel. "

Like they need any help with that.

Expand full comment

Huzzah!! This this this. Hunter is no incel! He is terrifying to the likes of Comer. Frankly it's so super clear to me, and all with half a brain, that the dude Hunter is no angel and a hell of a guy. Also jeez, folks, imagine if Sporky had shown naked pics of a woman in open Congress. Ok? It's serious, what she did. Ffs!! Then if that woman came back like Hunter did, and dissed her like he did. Fuq yeah!

Expand full comment

My🩶 vote is not only for the eloquence of Mr. Hurst, but for the words of Rep. Jasmine Crockett, a true patriot I hope to be able to vote for as president, should we survive this Wreck on The Highway of the Klown Kar Kawcus.

Expand full comment

#presidentCrockett here to second that!!

Expand full comment

She said "Hunter" instead of "Mr Biden" when he walked out. Either they are on a first name basis or she is taking a whole fucking lot of liberties and should be addressed as "Empty" by any witnesses going forward.

Expand full comment

I noticed that as well. Marjorie Taylor Peen has no social sense at all. "What are the ROOLZ???"

Expand full comment

Damn right.

Expand full comment