Hunter Biden Came To Congress Yesterday, Humiliated Marjorie Taylor Greene For Sport, Left
Highlights from another James Comer Pigfuck special.
Hunter Biden humiliated Marjorie Taylor Greene, James Comer, and every other Republican on the House Oversight Committee yesterday, and they’ve all spent the past 24 hours gasping for air trying to convince people it was the opposite.
Rep. Comer (R-Squeal Piggy Piggy Squeal) and his committee held a hearing and a vote yesterday on referring Hunter Biden to the full House to be held in contempt, for defying their subpoena for testimony. (Biden has been willing the entire time to testify publicly, which was originally part of Comer’s offer. However, knowing that Comer and his colleagues lie as often as they fart, especially about Hunter Biden, he didn’t want to sit for a closed-door deposition. That was when Comer started sticking the goal posts up his butt so nobody could reach them.)
The committee — and also Jim Jordan’s House Judiciary Committee — ultimately voted along party lines for that recommendation, but it was weird because of how Hunter Biden and his lawyers Abbe Lowell and Kevin Morris had shown up for the hearing and were present and available for questioning as the dumbfucks bitched about how Hunter wouldn’t answer their questions.
So that was awkward. It was especially awkward how they sat there right up until it was Marjorie Taylor Greene’s turn to speak, at which point they showed her all the respect she’s earned by quietly but firmly standing up and walking out of the room.
Watch the moment when Hunter gets up to leave the second the gentlewoman from Georgia is recognized. You can hear Nancy Mace trying to chime in and be part of it, such a fucking try-hard.
Look at her complaining, it is worth your 11 seconds:
“Hunter Biden STORMED OUT of a hearing when I tried to question him. He can run but he can't hide!” said Greene on Twitter, under the impression that anybody, including retail managers she’s petulantly demanding to speak to, is afraid of her.
But sure, whatever she needs to believe to sleep at night without smothering her own face with a pillow. We should note, however, that Hunter’s move had the side benefit of making all the networks cut away from Greene talking. So that’s pretty funny.
Class, do you think they did that because Hunter Biden is scared of conservative white women like Greene? Does anyone do anything for that reason? She literally screamed that afterward, that Hunter is scared of “strong conservative women.” (Greene also went on the Alex Jones show last night and said she’s pretty sure Hunter was on drugs during the hearing. Known teetotaler Alex Jones was sure Hunter was high on cocaine. Sounds legit.)
Nancy Mace would also like you to believe Hunter is afraid of her. Everything she said was just so strange, it was like she was tripping balls and completely forgot to update her rehearsed remarks so they’d actually work with Hunter in the room.
"Hunter Biden, you are too afraid for a deposition, and I still think you are today," [Mace] said.
"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes," she added.
HEEENNNGH? Those are words. They do not necessarily make sense in that order, but they are words.
She began her remarks asking, “Who bribed Hunter Biden to be here today?” Again, we ask HEEENNNGH?
Mace ridiculously accused Hunter Biden of displaying “white privilege,” sitting there and not even being in prison for whatever it is these walking dog sharts think he did.
“You are the epitome of white privilege. Coming into the Oversight Committee, spitting in our face, ignoring a congressional subpoena to be deposed. What are you afraid of? You have no balls to come up here,” she said.
“I think that Hunter Biden should be arrested right here, right now, and go straight to jail,” she added.
Democratic Rep. Jasmine Crockett bodied Mace’s ass for her Karen-riffic crack about “white privilege” a bit later in the hearing.
When Democrats started objecting to her maundering horseshit, Mace shouted “ARE WOMEN ALLOWED TO SPEAK IN HERE?” She and Greene are really committed to fucking the chicken of trying to make this about the oppression of conservative white women.
So that was all very cool and congressional. At the end of the halfwit soliloquy in the clip above, you can hear Andy Biggs — Mace’s own seditionist Republican colleague — say Republicans should try to refrain from acting like a bunch of “nimrods” in the hearing.
Was Marjorie Taylor Greene Done Being An Ass? Surprisingly, No!
Hunter really missed some stuff when he left.
For example, Greene did her whole routine where she shows everybody pictures of Hunter’s cock, it’s fun for the whole family. She is OBSESSED with them. They are her FAVORITE. She also likes to baselessly accuse Hunter of “human trafficking,” because she’s an unhinged freak. (Note how Comer defends Greene’s porn as “evidence” in his “investigation” into he doesn’t even know what he’s fucking investigating.)
For one more MTG, because it is our favorite thing ever, here is your bonus video of Greene calling for a “point of order or inquiry,” and Democratic Rep. Dan Goldman firmly and unequivocally explaining to her that “There’s no such thing.”
He always has to do this, because Marjorie Taylor Greene is too ignorant, stupid and lazy to learn the rules of Congress.
Also we think it amuses him as much as it amuses us.
What Else Did We Learn?
Elsewhere during the hearing, Democratic Reps. Eric Swalwell and Adam Schiff reminded America that, as of yesterday, Jim Jordan was 608 days out of compliance with his subpoena from the January 6 Committee. But that’s OK, there aren’t laws if you’re white Christian fascist dogshit. “Is this hearing a joke?” asked Swalwell. “This is a committee that now cares about subpoena compliance?”
During his questioning, Democratic Rep. Jared Moskowitz entered ignored subpoenas into the record from Republican Scott Perry, Mark Meadows, Mo Brooks, Andy Biggs, Kevin McCarthy, and Jordan, and said if they added those to Hunter’s contempt order, he’d vote for it. No?
Old Jimmy James Pigfuck Comer, who’s as stupid as he is desperate as he is consistently out of breath, tried to spin Hunter’s appearance by telling NewsNation that the “Biden family got played” in that moment. To which we reply, as always, good luck with that, Pigfuck.
The truth is, this is largely happening because Hunter Biden humiliated Pigfuck when he called his bluff and started loudly offering to testify in public any time, any place.
It’s abundantly obvious that the true fear here is among Republican congressmen, of what fools Hunter Biden would make of them if he answered their questions in person and in public. (He did answer a few from Rep. Moskowitz before he humiliated MTG and left.) Abbe Lowell noted outside the hearing room how many times Biden and his team have offered to cooperate, but also said Republicans have used these closed-door subpoenas repeatedly “in their political crusade to selectively leak and mischaracterize what witnesses have said."
(See: how they are still trying to pretend closed door testimony from Hunter’s business partner Devon Archer months ago was the smoking gun, when all the initial reporting and the transcript both show that actually Archer demonstrated that Comer’s and Jordan’s investigation is basically just two guys lighting each other’s farts in a 69 position.)
"The Republican chairs today then are commandeering an unprecedented resolution to hold someone in contempt who has offered to publicly answer all their proper questions," said Lowell. "The question there is what are they afraid of?"
We’d be here all day if we starting trying to parse that out.
We’ll close with this video of Jasmine Crockett losing her everloving shit at every Republican in the room. This is what every Democrat should do to every Republican every time one of the insolent shitbreathers tries to open their mouth.
[NBC News / The Hill / videos via MeidasTouch / Acyn / Heartland Signal / Aaron Rupar]
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Jared Moscowitz is from Florida. Jasmine Crockett is from Texas. Floridians and Texans put them in office. Let's remember that the next time we crucify a state's population because a gerrymandered system put their worst in office or that a small majority put the state government it has in place.
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