This Sunday afternoon, I got a message letting me know that another girl had just accused a former professor of mine of sexual assault in a post on Facebook.
Sometimes the regret from not speaking up is worse than the memory of the incident itself. There's a large chunk of my brain entirely devoted to kicking myself. "Why didn't you tell that creep what for!?"
"It's normal enough that I usually forget all about the times it happens to me, like it's just the price of living my life"Same here. Grabbed, backed into a wall and forcibly kissed. Manhandled and bruised by an ex. Been stalked---very creepy! Had male "friends" show up uninvited at my apartment and get pissy when I wasn't interested. Street harassment was a given. That song "I enjoy being a girl" makes my lip curl.
I hope we've reached the tipping point. I hope. I'm 61 and still dealing with the memories of my first abuser. As a competent (male) therapist finally said, "You knew when you were ELEVEN that you had no support system?" Well, yeah. I doubt many of us had one.
It used to be so simple - in college we dreamed of sitting around the water tank on the apartment building and watching the sun come up over lake Michigan while we took turns licking the salt lime and tequila off our fingers.. Life was good, love was simple, and a bagel and lox were a buck.
Later we would watch the mother fox pad down to the river while we licked salt lime and tequila off any available body part but a bagel and lox were still a buck. Tequila , however and gone up dramatically. It had been discovered by then you see. And Constant Comment was too sweet and spicy.
Sigh. Yes Robyn, thank you. I do not know the person but I did not run with the literary crowd. He sounds like a truly abysmal person and deserving of relegation to some dreary dark place full of spiders like my sock drawer.
Having been around this planet for a long time, I totally love this image, and am just beyond disgusted that women are still putting up with shit and abuse from entitled and arrogant men. Honestly, I don't think I know a single woman who has not been assaulted, insulted, or otherwise molested in some manner.http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photo...
I am so fucking angry at Bobby. I know him, tho not well. Is there anything I can do to support you, Robyn, and the other survivors who have come forward? Or anything you want me and other folks NOT to do?
What pisses me off is how they got to be a feminist: "Of course I'm a feminist! My mother was super smart!" or "Of course I'm a feminist! I married a genius!"
That's just a compliment they pay themselves for their genetics and marriage. Because no guy's gonna say, "My progenitor was a nice woman but stupid."
I thought it was California . . . anyway, my shambling Missouri city has the highest homicide rate. Now our shooty-shoot Gubbenor wants to loosen gun laws even more.
This is so true, and why people think an old white man is the best person to represent them in government, and an old white guy is the best possible doctor.
Let's not pat ourselves on the back too much. I know plenty of liberals who do the same thing with television. Television itself is the problem, not what you watch on it. And it is insidious, pernicious, and almost invisible in its effect on you. One of the most pernicious effects is when people say, "Oh, I pay no attention to the nonsense--I only absorb the good stuff" or delude themselves into thinking they're too critical a watcher to ever fall for any of television's tricks.
Misuse of power, plain and simple.
Good for you, Robyn. That's fucked. The lit world is well populated with fucking predatory assholes.Thank you for speaking up.
Sometimes the regret from not speaking up is worse than the memory of the incident itself. There's a large chunk of my brain entirely devoted to kicking myself. "Why didn't you tell that creep what for!?"
38 and calling yourself "Bobby", there's something in that right there.....
"It's normal enough that I usually forget all about the times it happens to me, like it's just the price of living my life"Same here. Grabbed, backed into a wall and forcibly kissed. Manhandled and bruised by an ex. Been stalked---very creepy! Had male "friends" show up uninvited at my apartment and get pissy when I wasn't interested. Street harassment was a given. That song "I enjoy being a girl" makes my lip curl.
I hope we've reached the tipping point. I hope. I'm 61 and still dealing with the memories of my first abuser. As a competent (male) therapist finally said, "You knew when you were ELEVEN that you had no support system?" Well, yeah. I doubt many of us had one.
#metoo
No, it was Vassar, though I wouldn't be surprised if it happened other places too.
It used to be so simple - in college we dreamed of sitting around the water tank on the apartment building and watching the sun come up over lake Michigan while we took turns licking the salt lime and tequila off our fingers.. Life was good, love was simple, and a bagel and lox were a buck.
Later we would watch the mother fox pad down to the river while we licked salt lime and tequila off any available body part but a bagel and lox were still a buck. Tequila , however and gone up dramatically. It had been discovered by then you see. And Constant Comment was too sweet and spicy.
Sigh. Yes Robyn, thank you. I do not know the person but I did not run with the literary crowd. He sounds like a truly abysmal person and deserving of relegation to some dreary dark place full of spiders like my sock drawer.
Sigh.
#MeToo
Having been around this planet for a long time, I totally love this image, and am just beyond disgusted that women are still putting up with shit and abuse from entitled and arrogant men. Honestly, I don't think I know a single woman who has not been assaulted, insulted, or otherwise molested in some manner.http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photo...
I am so fucking angry at Bobby. I know him, tho not well. Is there anything I can do to support you, Robyn, and the other survivors who have come forward? Or anything you want me and other folks NOT to do?
What pisses me off is how they got to be a feminist: "Of course I'm a feminist! My mother was super smart!" or "Of course I'm a feminist! I married a genius!"
That's just a compliment they pay themselves for their genetics and marriage. Because no guy's gonna say, "My progenitor was a nice woman but stupid."
I thought it was California . . . anyway, my shambling Missouri city has the highest homicide rate. Now our shooty-shoot Gubbenor wants to loosen gun laws even more.
This is so true, and why people think an old white man is the best person to represent them in government, and an old white guy is the best possible doctor.
Let's not pat ourselves on the back too much. I know plenty of liberals who do the same thing with television. Television itself is the problem, not what you watch on it. And it is insidious, pernicious, and almost invisible in its effect on you. One of the most pernicious effects is when people say, "Oh, I pay no attention to the nonsense--I only absorb the good stuff" or delude themselves into thinking they're too critical a watcher to ever fall for any of television's tricks.