35 Comments
User's avatar
WA Bishop's avatar

"I don't have a gun but I have a cellphone. Oh, and a fucking library card."

Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

I believe Dick Cheney's victim set the bar pretty high for post-firearm etiquette.

Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

The Driveway of Liberty needs to be watered too.

Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

Everyone knows "Guns Don't Kill People"

Meaning, don't blame <i>firearms</i> for their ability to easily be used by freakishly paranoid lunatics to murder innocent people.

Also, while we are averting blame, don't blame <i>nonsensical fuckwit bumper-sticker slogans drilled into everyone's head</i> for making it impossible to address cold-blooded murder with reason or logic.

102415's avatar

Some one tricked me into picking up the phone the other day with that bullshit and I chatted for awhile explaining that I didn't know how the computer worked and asked them how do you turn it on.

SullivanSt's avatar

I just had a vision of what a Robert Rodriguez remake of <em>Alien</em> would look like.

SullivanSt's avatar

Has to be said, I saw more of them in England than I have so far in New York.

fuflans's avatar

dude. you got nothing i want to steal.

chascates's avatar

<b>Never mind the dog. Beware of the bat-shit crazy tri**er-happy homeowner.</b>

Vienna Woods's avatar

Oh, it's <a href="http:\/\/www.jameswiseman.com\/blog\/tag\/windows-support-telephone-scam\/" target="_blank">real</a>. A friend of mine actually got sucked in by them once! I only found out about that a couple of weeks ago, but I've been cussing them out for a year now.

Vienna Woods's avatar

Here's a great example of how to <a href="http:\/\/caliston.livejournal.com\/20313.html#cutid1" target="_blank">fuck them over.</a>

TundraGrifter's avatar

MI:

Thank you. I was sure it was Florida. The young man's name was Yoshihiro Hattori - he deserves to be remembered.

SullivanSt's avatar

It's <a href="http:\/\/machaut.uchicago.edu\/\?action=search&amp\;resource=Webster%27s&amp\;word=Pursy&amp\;quicksearch=on" target="_blank">not necessarily</a> a reference to ladyparts, it turns out. Although most people nowadays think of it that way, so the etymology is likely irrelevant.

SullivanSt's avatar

"Actually, would you mind making that a Tylenol? I wouldn't want to bleed on your driveway any more than strictly necessary."

PsycWench's avatar

Also the use of "You" makes it appear accusatory. It would be best to use "I statements" as in "I have been shot, probably by the asshole with the gun".

SullivanSt's avatar

In Flah-di-dah, it's as likely the browns as the blahs.