35 Comments

"I don't have a gun but I have a cellphone. Oh, and a fucking library card."

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I believe Dick Cheney's victim set the bar pretty high for post-firearm etiquette.

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The Driveway of Liberty needs to be watered too.

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Everyone knows "Guns Don't Kill People"

Meaning, don't blame <i>firearms</i> for their ability to easily be used by freakishly paranoid lunatics to murder innocent people.

Also, while we are averting blame, don't blame <i>nonsensical fuckwit bumper-sticker slogans drilled into everyone's head</i> for making it impossible to address cold-blooded murder with reason or logic.

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Some one tricked me into picking up the phone the other day with that bullshit and I chatted for awhile explaining that I didn't know how the computer worked and asked them how do you turn it on.

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I just had a vision of what a Robert Rodriguez remake of <em>Alien</em> would look like.

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Has to be said, I saw more of them in England than I have so far in New York.

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dude. you got nothing i want to steal.

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<b>Never mind the dog. Beware of the bat-shit crazy tri**er-happy homeowner.</b>

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Oh, it's <a href="http:\/\/www.jameswiseman.com\/blog\/tag\/windows-support-telephone-scam\/" target="_blank">real</a>. A friend of mine actually got sucked in by them once! I only found out about that a couple of weeks ago, but I've been cussing them out for a year now.

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Here's a great example of how to <a href="http:\/\/caliston.livejournal.com\/20313.html#cutid1" target="_blank">fuck them over.</a>

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MI:

Thank you. I was sure it was Florida. The young man's name was Yoshihiro Hattori - he deserves to be remembered.

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It's <a href="http:\/\/machaut.uchicago.edu\/\?action=search&amp\;resource=Webster%27s&amp\;word=Pursy&amp\;quicksearch=on" target="_blank">not necessarily</a> a reference to ladyparts, it turns out. Although most people nowadays think of it that way, so the etymology is likely irrelevant.

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"Actually, would you mind making that a Tylenol? I wouldn't want to bleed on your driveway any more than strictly necessary."

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Also the use of "You" makes it appear accusatory. It would be best to use "I statements" as in "I have been shot, probably by the asshole with the gun".

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In Flah-di-dah, it's as likely the browns as the blahs.

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