ICE Lady: It's One Immigrant, Michael, How Many Anchor Babies Could She Have? Seven Million?

Let's say it together: She Seems Nice.

In a story about SCARY ILLEGAL CRIMINALS in Nevada prisons, the top official for US Immigration and Customs Enforcement in the state revealed a heck of a lot about how her agency thinks about undocumented immigrants. Dana Fishburn, ICE's acting (of course!) deputy field office director for Nevada, told Sheldon Adelson's  Las Vegas Review-Journal   just how frustrating it is that ICE can't just lock up everybody forever, because even if they haven't committed any non-immigration crimes, they're still likely to cause trouble before they can be deported. Like, what if they went and had babies, as those fecund Latinas always seem to at the drop of a hat?

It's a hell of a train of thought. The article, ostensibly about the shocking number of criminal immigrants locked up in Nevada state facilities, notes that ICE simply doesn't have enough detention beds for everyone, and how sad is that? Then, out of nowhere comes the wingnut fearmongering about anchor babies, because you know how those people are.

Fishburn said Nevada has only about 600 ICE detention beds, so many offenders are released on bond or with ankle bracelets awaiting a deportation hearing in front of judge. [sic]

And the deportation process can drag out for years.

"Those individuals that are not in custody -- say, one of the mothers that's not committed a crime, but she's here illegally -- she's not going to court for three or four years right now," Fishburn said. "Who knows what could happen in those three years? She could have three more babies."

If only they could all be locked up forever, and perhaps sterilized! Needless to say, the Review-Journal hack, intent on a good scary immigrants story, didn't comment on the racist stereotype there, because we DID say Sheldon Adelson owns the rag, didn't we? At least the story caught the attention of Michael Kagan, a law professor and director of the UNLV Immigration Clinic .

Las Vegas ICE official complaining that it takes too long for @ICEgov to deport mothers with no criminal record: “S… https://t.co/4BBa9jhgX3

— Michael Kagan (@Michael Kagan) 1567691908.0 

Well, sure, Professor Kagan, that's pretty much what the federal government sounds like these days. Isn't it great? We'd look forward to Ms. Fishburn getting in some sort of trouble for such open racism, but in this hell world, she may be facing a promotion.

The rest of the story, by rightwing hack Arthur "Not the late New York Dolls bassist" Kane, is a real piece of work, too. It reveals the shocking fact that in Nevada, "one out of every 14 state inmates is an undocumented immigrant," and "nearly 1,000 state prisoners have ICE holds and about a fifth of those are repeat  felons ." That sure sounds a lot scarier than saying there are 200 undocumented "repeat felons" -- out of Nevada's state prison population of 13,000. 

The piece sure tries to make it sound like Nevada is simply swimming in scary illegal criminals, though, from the headline, "Top Las Vegas ICE official discusses flood of undocumented criminals," to the assumption that anyone out on bond is a likely rapist. Indeed, the story even found one whole horror story to highlight,

where a convicted carjacker was picked up by ICE after serving his state sentence, but ICE released him with an ankle bracelet. He went on to abduct and rape a woman on Tropicana Avenue.

But just to scare you a little extra, Kane follows that with another scary immigrant story involving a guy from the Philippines who has been "released on bond three times by immigration judges," and isn't that horrifying? He was charged with theft twice, and with possessing stolen property another, and why are good decent Americans being subjected to this madness? That would never happen to a citizen except for all the times it does.

Just to emphasize the cognitive dissonance, we're apparently supposed to be simultaneously outraged that we're not locking up ALL the illegals, who are out there doing crimes and having babies, and that it cost so damn much ($21 million a year) to lock up the undocumented crimers who are in prison. This story is a follow-up to a previous piece featuring a Republican lawmaker crying, "How many kids could you educate with $21 million? [...] How many people with Medicaid could you treat for $21 million?"

Haha, the answer to both questions is none! You would use that for a tax cut!

Yes, yes, we know: The point is if only we built WALL, ended asylum, and deported everyone, all our problems would be solved and the prisons could free up space for all the Antifa murderers and Hillary voters.

And now we hate everything, the end.

[ Las Vegas Review-Journal / Michael Kagan on Twitter]

Yr Wonkette is supported completely by reader donations. Please send us money so we can keep the servers humming, the writers paid, and Dok in keto-friendly bourbon.