733 Comments
User's avatar
James's avatar

This is where the “Like Button” needs to be a “Love Button”. 🖤🤎❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🩷🤍🩵

Mysterysurf's avatar

Sexy times are so much better when you can locate the Love Button.

455 Rocket Cat's avatar

Idaho would definitely ban “Love Buttons.”

M'Hael's avatar

Love button is what... annnnnnd you pervs can fill in the rest.

Jamoche's avatar

Pervs are only in it for themselves, they have no clue where to find it.

Snarfyguy's avatar

OT: OMG, just had the best huevos rancheros ever at a joint in a crummy shopping plaza in Venice Beach.

BRB, gotta go to the bathroom.

CzechJournalists's avatar

huevos divorciados provides more diversity in salsas. xmasy even.

Snarfyguy's avatar

That was actually what I had; I just forgot what it was called.

It really was superb though.

gallbladder's avatar

Be sure to wipe! Twice.

swmnguy's avatar

When the restroom has a box of kitchen matches sitting on the top of the toilet tank, it's usually for good reason.

455 Rocket Cat's avatar

Cuz nothing smells as good as poop or burnt matches except for burnt matches *and* poop

gallbladder's avatar

I am now eight years-old at my paternal aunt's apartment again. Eddy Lights. You know the score.

Hank Napkin's avatar

NO COMMENT

'False smears must stop!' -- Melania

Sojourner Truth's avatar

But keep the real ones coming.

SkeptiKC's avatar

[gynecologists wince nationwide]

RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

Missus FLOTUS, I have Barbara Streisand on line one....

455 Rocket Cat's avatar

What about false positive smears?

Dexter Mathorphan's avatar

I read that as "shmears" and started craving Einstein Bagels

gallbladder's avatar

It's the false negative ones that I'm most worried about.

455 Rocket Cat's avatar

And the negative controls. They never let the positive controls win.

Snarfyguy's avatar

True smears will contine, gurl.

aktlib101's avatar

An excellent point.

Ragnar Blackwolf :

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/HFZqpn8WMAAX-w4?format=png&name=small

"Hypothetically if someone was accused of having sex with goats by over 30 different people and regularly denied it, but also dropped very public hints about how much he liked to have sex with goats for decades, and ran a goat pageant to find the best looking goats, and was best friends with someone who got convicted of fucking goats and trafficking goats to friends all over the world who also liked to fuck goats, and his name was in the classified goat fucker chronicles 5,000 times, and he wished other goat fuckers well in prison, what do you think the odds are that person is also a goat fucker?"

tehbaddr's avatar

It was only that one time!

Oh, you're not taking about me. How silly of me!

Thesaurus Wrecks's avatar

In the year 3000 Idaho will finally get fed up with I da Hoe dad jokes and will legally change the name of their state to Udaho.

RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

I work in an industrial setting. Occasionally, someone leaves a hose on the ground instead of putting it away properly, creating a trip hazard. I have to have the 'safety talk' with the guys, and I always add, 'pick them up because hose always be trippin'

Agent of Chaotic Respite's avatar

Brilliant, and well played.

jaspersdad's avatar

MAGA: “Europeans are freeloaders! We pay for NATO. We pay for everything! We’re leaving.”

Europeans: “Okay. Cheerio.”

MAGA: “We’re packing up! No more handouts. You’ll be screwed without us.”

Europeans: “I’m sure we’ll manage. Bye then.”

MAGA: “Better start learning Russian. You won’t last 15 minutes without us. You’re a bunch of pussies!!!”

Europeans: “Still here?”

MAGA: “We’ve got 300 aircraft carriers and 10 gazillion rockets and space lasers! You europoors still have cannons!”

Europeans: yawn in French, go for three-hour lunch.

MAGA: “USA! USA! USA! You’ll beg us to come back!!!”

Europeans: order a second bottle of Chablis.

https://xcancel.com/VeryBrexitProbs/status/2042258513792053543

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Oh, well done, random twitter poster.

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

First comment, Hal Turner is sure showing some butt hurt.

Shocktreatment's avatar

I'm not going to ask Melonholio about all those photos of her 𝘯𝘰𝘵relating with Epstein. After all, she said “The lies linking me with the disgraceful Jeffrey Epstein need to end today...I reject their mean-spirited attempts to defame my reputation.” so, that's that!

If you can't trust her, who 𝘤𝘢𝘯 you trust? After all, she's a 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘱! (By 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦, which suggests a whole new category of mental condition)

Fifth Dentist's avatar

Uh, Melon, you did soft-core lesbian porn photo shoots. Not that there's anything wrong with that. A girl's gotta get paid, after all. Even genius visa holders such as yourself.

But, as far as your reputation is concerned, if I were you, I'd rather be remembered for that than than whatever those monstrosity of fu-king Khreesmas decorations you vomited onto the nation.

tehbaddr's avatar

I liked her Eastern Blok Narnian Hellscapes!

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Melania's escape hatch

https://bsky.app/profile/factpostnews.bsky.social/post/3mj3i77jcqh2r

Melania Trump breaks with Trump's inner circle and calls on Congress to hold public hearings with Jeffrey Epstein's victims.

"I call on Congress to provide the women who have been victimized by Epstein with a public hearing."

tehbaddr's avatar

She wants off the ride now please.

jaspersdad's avatar

Is that what the kids are calling it now?

Dexter Mathorphan's avatar

Mission accomplished. It's time for her to hop on the Noem/Lewandowski fuckjet and fly home to Moscow to retire after a job well done.

Vlad smiles.

swmnguy's avatar

Boeing 737 MAX-8 has a maximum range of about 3500 miles, though when lightly loaded can go up to about 4000. So, maybe a quick stop somewhere to refuel, pee, get some more pork rinds and Nehi Grape...

M'Hael's avatar

Aw, man... Nehi... suddenly I'm ten years old at my great-grandmother's house, wtf?? 😉

MRK's avatar

Except she also made the laughable claim that she had no connection to Epstein. I think we all too often think she wants an escape that she isn't actually looking for.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Put Donnie in prison is a really good divorce argument.

Fifth Dentist's avatar

Maybe there's a clause in the prenup about how she inherits if the humunculus gets sent to the joint?

MRK's avatar

That's not what she said, though. What she said works equally well if she's just trying to get us to shut up and get QAnon folks to think she's on their side.

swmnguy's avatar

Florida is a "no-fault" divorce state, but it's good to have backups when dealing with that rabid badger.

gallbladder's avatar

Dan Goldman on line one with pictures of Bondi ignoring said victims.

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

Someone with the files needs to dump them all on the internet, unredacted.

James's avatar

“Mossad, if you’re listening…”

gallbladder's avatar

I wholly agree.

Rhand Holm's avatar

Perhaps she wants Congress to give her grounds for a divorce. That or she wants him in jail, next best thing.

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

Sure hope she reviewed the prenup, lol.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

I'm sure she knows EVERY clause in that agreement by heart.

swmnguy's avatar

Her lawyer, along with her PR people, have told her it's time to jump.

42tontom's avatar

“The best time to jump is 10 years ago. The second best time is RIGHT NOW.

DogParent's avatar

The terms in the prenup have been met. She's vested and ready to cash out :)

SkeptiKC's avatar

Out from which window?

swmnguy's avatar

The rear window of the skeevy motel room. Think Jerry Lundegaard in his tighty-whities at the end of the movie "Fargo."

James's avatar

How do you say “I’m cooperating here!” in Slovenian?

swmnguy's avatar
3mEdited

"She's fleeing the interview!"

At least, I think that's the phonetic translation.

Shocktreatment's avatar

"This ship is taking on water, fast..."

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

Also, she has a plane she can physically escape in.

swmnguy's avatar

Until quite recently, I didn't see any of these people fleeing to Russia. Putin knows when a pawn has been played and is of no further value.

I had UAE on my bingo card for a lot of 'em. But that may now not be something UAE wants to be involved in, anymore.

James's avatar

Not sure UAE is a good idea for anybody now that Fat Donny has gone and pissed off Iran to the point of blowing up anything that doesn’t move fast enough.

Fifth Dentist's avatar

There's always Argentina.

That's been a traditional safe space for Nazis in need of safe harbor.

James's avatar

And Bunker Boy *is* pretty friendly with Milei (possibly the only guy with worse hair than Donald).

Bel-Ami's avatar

Thank you for educating me that there is someplace you that lovely state that isn't a far-right/ white supremacist/x-tian nationalist shithole!

42tontom's avatar

There are places like that in Texas, but you would never know based on the low, low, low quality of their elected officials.

James's avatar

Austin’s nice. And the only place in TX I’ve been back to voluntarily since I left Ft. Hood.

aktlib101's avatar

Right-wing conspiracy theorist Alex Jones broke down in tears while cradling a "battle axe" in an effort to break a "demonic spell," which he believed had caused President Donald Trump to wage war on Iran.

https://www.rawstory.com/alex-jones-trump-demonic-spell/

These people need professional help. Permanently.

Trespassers Will's avatar

Because “God” does things Alex likes and “Satan” or “demons” cause things to happen that Alex doesn’t like.

I was young, but I vaguely remember my brain working like this.

gallbladder's avatar

Hey, Alex: Aren't you supposed to be the "tip of the spear" or some other dumb-ass ideal of yourself? Either take point, die for your stupid cause, or shut the fuck up, poseur.

Goddamn this guy.

42tontom's avatar

Has he never heard of Occam’s Battle Axe?

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Alex Jones clickbait. He's good at it.

Fifth Dentist's avatar

Initially read that as "Alex Jones chickbait."

Barf!

Larry Schmitt's avatar

They are all nucking futz.

ciaobella's avatar

That battle axe needs to be seized and auctioned off to pay the judgment for the Sandy Hook survivors, BTW.

Fifth Dentist's avatar

Plus whatever the knacker will give for Alex's bloated carcass to make glue.

Wokey McWokeface's avatar

I didn't think he belonged anywhere near the white house until now.

AuditorTrap's avatar

What they're doing now is playing a game of Whack-a-Mole they'll never win. The Ledge should just move the state capitol to Coeur d'Alene. Sure, they're bigots and assholes and the very idea of diversity is anathema to them, but I think what really gets stuck in their craw is that they have to see all the acceptance and diversity on display when the legislature is in session. All the gay is right in their face, as it were. If they just moved the capitol to a more comfortable, deep red town, far away from Sodom (correction: Boise) they could bigot all they want, comfortably surrounded by their fellow bigots. Problem solved.

AuditorTrap's avatar

I'm not advocating this. It would totally suck for Boise; all the fine folks in Boise who work in state government who would have to move, their families and the businesses in Boise that rely on them. Although it might backfire and the influx of a large number of progressive voters into Coeur d'Alene would tip the political balance there and the Ledge would have created Gamora in Northern Idaho, complete with rainbow flagpoles and "All are welcome here!" signs.

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

Wait 'til they find out towns that aren't diverse are towns that aren't very fun to visit. Even for conservatives.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

No Grindr contacts in Coeur d'Alene?

"M"'s avatar

I think they know that

They try to consistently take over all the fun things -- and then those fun things consistently become unfun

It's ridiculous

tehbaddr's avatar

"Little also signed another far worse bill criminalizing trans people who use bathrooms or locker rooms that match their gender identity"

So some Trans Lady can then go into the men's room and whip out their junk at the urinal and scare the bejebus outta fragile men.

HarryButtle, degenerate artist's avatar

Except then she gets beaten up.

tehbaddr's avatar

OK, also if Buck Angel strides into the Ladies room and women run screaming....

Buck: "Hey I have a Mangina!"

HarryButtle, degenerate artist's avatar

On one hand, I agree with you completely. Let's show these idiots what their policy really means in practice. Let's see how comfortable they feel with large, bearded trans men using the same restroom as their daughters. Most ordinary folks would realize that the bans are a bad idea.

On the other, every trans person who does this (man or woman) opens themselves up to physical attack. And law enforcement won't do a damn thing to protect them. Hell, the cops will probably join in.

So even if they follow the law now, there's a pretty good chance of being assaulted. And that's a feature of the legislation, not a bug.

vorpal 🚫♔'s avatar

In La France at the big Le Mans car race, the men's bathrooms have a big long trough that everyone piddles into that drains out one side of the room. As we're all in there doing our thing, a female cleaning lady wheels her cart in and starts cleaning without a sideways glance as everyone continues on with their business, junk hanging out.

tehbaddr's avatar

I've been various places with the trough, usually pubs.

Trespassers Will's avatar

I’ve been visiting men’s rooms my entire life. I’ve never seen another dude’s wiener in there.