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weejee's avatar
(((What Fresh Hell Is This)))'s avatar

Raccoon splash party!

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ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

For about a year or so, a very insouciant racoon with no tail would visit my patio to scarf up left over bird seed. He would hang out on the purple bird feeder tower and just enjoy the weather. One day I tried to shoo him away from the feeders (he had been hogging the space for over an hour). He stared at me. Inched his way down. And wiggled his butt. Unfortunately, he disappeared some time after than.

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Miss Grundy's avatar

Mom, the raccoons are playing in the tub again! Mooooooooom!

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Kay Ducky's avatar

It's the Wet Bandits!

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Monsieur Grumpe's avatar

Nothing is more fun than a bathtub filled with water and racoons.

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satch's avatar

Otters would be a close second.

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marxalot's avatar

they’ve seized the showerhead, god help us all

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Mister Bubbles's avatar

Her name was Magill

And she called herself Lil

But everyone knew her as Nancy...

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Shocktreatment's avatar

Gotta wonder why the saying isn't 𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘍𝘶𝘯 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘈 𝘉𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘵𝘶𝘣 𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘈 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘙𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘯𝘴

A barrel full of monkeys sounds hazardous...

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The Wanderer's avatar

Raccoons doing their rendition of the Weasel War Dance!

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kmblue187's avatar

Forget it guys, it's a bathtub. No fish.

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Having a bath. That there is a training mission!

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Linda1961 is woke and proud's avatar

Coons just wanna have fun!

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Mr Beeep's avatar

Raccoon babby!!!!

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Al Bellenchia's avatar

Might as well jump…🎶

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The Wanderer's avatar

Jump?

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marxalot's avatar

go ahe-ead and ju-uhmp

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Michael's avatar

Van Halen

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The Wanderer's avatar

I know, I was carrying on with the refrain.

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eddi-SABH's avatar

Dear Portland Rebs. The Portland PB shields do not have "Policia" written on them. Thoughtfully, a fan.

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Every fascist regime begins by claiming to “keep you safe.” Then it shoots a journalist, gases a protester, and blames the air traffic controllers for being woke.

ICE lies because it has to. The truth would melt its badge.

Blessed be the ones who refuse to get used to the absurd, who can still tell the difference between a nation and a hostage situation.

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Littorally Speaking's avatar

𝘈𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘍𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘏𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘎𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘧𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘶𝘱𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘺𝘱𝘰𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘍𝘖𝘙𝘌𝘝𝘌𝘙 ...

“It’s like you’re unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps kniting, and kniting, and kniting, and kniting, and kniting, and kniting, and kniting.” – Paul Reubens (RIP)

https://youtu.be/3Tx8jnndMes?si=PynJrQgCghXOTdCo

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Trux Mint In Box's avatar

“Yes, because air traffic controlling is WOKE and they always say “fly to the left,” it is rigged, they never say to fly to the right, air traffic controllers are trying to make everybody transgender”

Bari Weiss reads this, immediately believes it and it is now the first story on the next 60 minutes with Matt Taibbi.

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Hippo Heaven's avatar

I tried telling my Trumpy Neighbor it was illegal for the government to blow up civilians in international waters.

She disagreed vehemently because "they can't bring drugs in."

I guess the concept of "law" escapes her.

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Littorally Speaking's avatar

Drop this on her:

“𝘛𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘓𝘪𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘺, 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘚𝘢𝘧𝘦𝘵𝘺, 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘓𝘪𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘳 𝘚𝘢𝘧𝘦𝘵𝘺.

– Benjamin Franklin

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Hippo Heaven's avatar

Thank you. I appreciate your response.

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lordpnut's avatar

"Insurrectile dysfunction" ftw!

We're not worthy, Evan. We're not worthy.

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Enter Ranting's avatar

Ugh, raccoons are a NIGHTMARE!!!

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Bombay Troubadour's avatar

I know the end is near.

I just watched the insane kabuki performance of Pam Bondi and senate hearings on cspan.

Instead of answering a tough question from Sen Blumenthal, Bondi immediately went to Biden:Hunter Biden.

Why can’t the Dems nail this bitch, with maybe some video from Chicago? From the past few days!! That would deflate their insane accusations of Dems previously weaponizing the DOJ.

The felon in the whitehouse is out to lunch while his minions commit atrocities, and steal.

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Pere Ubu's avatar

Gruppenführer Miller's comment about Black Chicagoans echoes his stupid comments last summer about Americans celebrating our domestic ethnic cleansing. Much like his (?)boss, he clamps onto a lie and then just keeps repeating it.

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"M"'s avatar

Just like Joseph Goebbels taught him by osmosis

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The Covfefes ASAP!'s avatar

Wonkette, please post about the planned attack on the US embassy in Venezuela that Madiro announced. Now Orange Boy wants to start a land war without proof of weapons of mass destruction. If Orange keeps this up he will make Maduro look like a saint.

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Hollysdower's avatar

"The Black people in Chicago are thrilled that we're getting the illegal aliens out of their communities who are stealing their housing, jobs, and resources."

Uh huh, and just what is a Black job, Stephen Miller?

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Jjamie's avatar

We are deep in it, are we not. Regretfully the writer did not leave us with steps for a cure.

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

Maybe the Pedos4Christ folks are trying to get an early start on Cocktober?

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Sister Artemis's avatar

Wait, WUT?

TABS HAVE BEEN RATIONED? Where do I get my Red Stamp Card? And are we rationing butter too? If so, can I be the one to mash the colorless oleomargerine with the little salt-and-color packet?d (IYKYK)

:(

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Mister Bubbles's avatar

OT, do not read - I'm a songwriter for as long as I can remember. I even came *this close* to getting a song on a 13x platinim major label debut album from a girl band nobody ever heard of.

So, I was working on this new song, and I came to the second verse that was like a fork in the road. One way was easy, it was approximate rhyme (like rhyming line with time), and it led to the destination i anticipated from the beginning. And I've done this so many times I don't even know.

But, maybe for the first time, it hit me how lazy that was. Just laziness of thought. And I realized that when I work at it, when I really get into the muse enough to chisel out the real rhyme, it leads to places I hadn't thought of before. The unmiraculous act of simply thinking deeper about what I'm doing makes it seem worthwhile. It's like the difference between merely sharpening a knife, and honing it to the breadth of a molecule.

It eases the depression. It makes me work. It pulls me up from the pit of shit we seem to be mired in. It really does take work to rhyme girl with something other than world, and not be ridiculous.

I'm not selling anything, I'm not criticizing or preaching. I'm just relating a thing that gives me more strength to handle this shit. We get hammered with more superficial nonsense than any group of people on earth ever dealt with. Let us not succumb.

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"M"'s avatar

Professor Toni Morrison always said that art is necessary during times like this one

https://youtu.be/5xvJYrSsXPA?si=Vy9GFp_CM982MZsF

https://youtu.be/2XZ9z6OewR0?si=b5s_aFq0313QYxtS

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Mark Linimon's avatar

A fine art painter friend of mine has said "now, we have to do our art more fiercely than ever".

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