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Martini Glambassador's avatar

So… Pinocchio meets a space turtle, and then some weird shit happens. It’s “Pinocchio in Outer Space” and it’s your header gif source today: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/pinocchio-in-outer-space

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

I saw this in the theater when it was released! Space Geppetto!

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Emil Muz's avatar

"growls in Crab"

I don't know what kind of award to nominate you for Martini, but you definitely deserve one for that snippet.

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

😘

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Ward From Cali's avatar

Well. Now I know where Ib Melchior got his ideas.

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Resource NW's avatar

Blond Pinocchio is the be.... ummm ... I have never seen Pinocchio blond before. Did someone watch a spaghetti western and decide he was Clint's little brother?

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Darrell Leland's avatar

The most bizarrely terrifying animated film I've ever seen is Unico in the Island of Magic. A ranting, shape shifting villain turning people into Lego blocks to build his house. Nightmare fuel.

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Doktor Zoom's avatar

OMG I remember seeing that on TV as a kid. I was just getting old enough to have some critical sense ("why is there a whale in space? This whole thing is dumb!") and I turned it off because it was so bad.

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Whale Chowder's avatar

Was there also a bowl of petunias?

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DeVoid's avatar

Whales? no. Giant turtles with discs on their backs? I'm fairly convinced.

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Doktor Zoom's avatar

There was a space whale. May have been a robot. Pinnocchio had Monstro, so the space whale was "Astro."

perfectly good brain cells were wasted on remembering this.

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

I thought Astro was the Jetsons' dog.

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LuluBean12 StarGeezer's avatar

Well maybe the name was in vogue. I only knew one kid named Matt when I was a kid. My nephew got named matt and I swear so did every second little boy we met. Yelling "Matt!" in a store was like yelling "Mom!" in a store. Dozens of people would turn around.

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Monsieur Grumpe's avatar

I wonder how many cartoonist took hallucinogens?

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Eileen's avatar

AOT,K.

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Zap's avatar

like

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Menotsure's avatar

In space you don't have to worry about termites in your shorts.

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Thalia Is Not Amused's avatar

I didn't realize having termites in your shorts was huge concern on Earth, honestly. Am I doing something wrong? Or incredibly right?

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Thalia Is Not Amused's avatar

Ah! I appreciate the clarification.

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Menotsure's avatar

You're welcome.

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OG Blockhead's avatar

CRAB PEOPLE CRAB PEOPLE.

Also, the continuity on the turtle's helmet threw me.

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Shocktreatment's avatar

So space crabs are GIANT, and not the kind of thing one might get from a new friend made one evening at the space bar...

Good to know.

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Joe Bacon's avatar

I prefer to encounter The Lobster Man from Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Luy6VPJwmrU

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Stanta Knows's avatar

It's the low gravity that promotes crab gigantism

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Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

So weird.

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Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Space crabs? There are giant space crabs?

Now you tell me?

FUCK!

yrs,

Buzz Aldrin

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Parakeetist's avatar

Lololloloool

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PrimerGray's avatar

That turtle looks familiar. Could it be Tippy before he hit the big time as an art model?

https://sagittariusdolly.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/no-more-drawing-tippy-the-turtle/

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Doktor Zoom's avatar

It's the alien ambassador from George Orr's dream in the PBS adaptation of The Lathe Of Heaven.

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

That was so well done. Somehow I had missed Ursula K. LeGuin before that, but that cured me.

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Eileen's avatar

I LOVED Tippy.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

Is it Gamera's stand in?

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The Wanderer's avatar

He is the friend to all children!

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Teen Laqueefa's avatar

Gamera is really neat

Gamera is filled with meat

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

You too can be an artist 😁

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PrimerGray's avatar

I'm like Ralphie's old man in a Christmas Story.

"He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master."

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Teen Laqueefa's avatar

When I was a kid I'd draw those things and ask my mom to send them off hoping I'd be discovered... I think she was wise enough to not send them in.

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tehbaddr's avatar

She didn't want to dash your hopes and crush your soul, that's what adulthood is for!

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PrimerGray's avatar

I like how "Money" is capitalized there.

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tehbaddr's avatar

Money? I was in it for the broads!

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PrimerGray's avatar

First you get the money, then you get the women, then you get the power.

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MRK's avatar

Since everything eventually evolves into crabs, it makes sense for there to be crabs on other planets.

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Bobathonic's avatar

Carcinisation FTW!

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

I’m evolving into a crab right now!

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Broderie Anglaise's avatar

I'm flying home to my Tiny Town on Friday, for to vote and stuff 'n' stuff. The market has a seafood stall on Saturdays, so I'll be evolving the crab they sell into sandwiches.

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The Wanderer's avatar

Yum!

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Teen Laqueefa's avatar

This guy knows crabs, and rock lobsters too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfeidZfSlcM

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Woah, neato!

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Jun 26, 2024
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ExecutorElassus's avatar

Not to mention the bug-eyed lobster-men from Alpha Centauri, who only had eyes for Earth-women.

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tehbaddr's avatar

Turtle? Sure, it could be. I'm of the opinion that it is a very distant cricket like thing to avoid Disney copyright litigation.

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CJLB's avatar

Excuse me Rebecca, that is MY Harlem mansion house.

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LuluBean12 StarGeezer's avatar

What a gorgeous job they are doing too. What a gorgeous place. I am thrilled that they are saving it.

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Peter T Hooper's avatar

I read the NR article. It’s fair to characterize it as a hack job, particularly as it appears to be there for the specific purpose of discrediting specific leakers for showing us things the powers that be would rather we did not know.

What one of us would welcome a public airing of our youthful errors, confusions and mis-steps offered in criticism of something good we have done, at no small personal risk?

Speaking directly to the matter of Assange, does the fact that the man was an occasional asshole, or that he emphatically opposed a political figure with an ardently partisan following who was at the time seeking high office merit a lifetime of harsh imprisonment?

I would think that in other situations there are those who would stand up for the punishment fitting the crime. Now, for ardent national security hawks, lifetime imprisonment does that, but for others who don’t see national security that way…?

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Robert Eckert's avatar

He was a consistent asshole, and worked for our enemies.

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bjkeefe's avatar

I've long thought a lot more highly of Snowden than Assange or Greenwald.

Assange: Wikileaks as a concept seemed cool, way back when, although I always thought Assange himself was not particularly admirable. But when he made it his business to ratfuck the Dems in 2016, that was certainly the last straw.

Greenwald: Kinda liked him when he was writing for Salon, although the long-windedness was often too much to take. His changes since then? I mean, come on.

Snowden: I will say that the New Republic article makes me rethink. But only a bit: it seems like most of the accusations hurled at Snowden are based on evidence about his much younger self. As to him swiping passwords and doing other social engineering later on, as opposed to being some sort of Hollywood hacker guru, well, okay, but really, so what? Bottom line: I'm sure I don't agree with him on everything, but I still think of him as admirable, when all is said and done.

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Lady Tavestock's avatar

Substack told me that "Cora Mason - Day Trader, Educator" was following me. Turns out that the photos are of Roberta Metsola, president of the European Parliament. Criminy!

https://substack.com/profile/106101604-lady-tavestock/note/c-60115962

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beb's avatar

I see that the Supreme Court has once again narrowed the definition of "bribery" versus a generous gift to a politician. It's not just Thomas and Alito protecting their asses, it's all the conservative Justices.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Coney-Barret's never mentioned in these stories. I wonder if that's because her deeply-held religious beliefs won't allow her to accept bribes or if the billionaires just decided they didn't want to waste any of their good stuff on a girl?

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Chris Paine's avatar

Good thing Social Security no longer rejects disability claims for having been a "village witch." Practicing practical magic is a much more dangerous profession than you think! Britain jailed its last witch during the WWII (no joke!). Just remember to support your local sorcerer.

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Blanche de Shambles's avatar

Yes, I'm not a "village" witch. I'm the witch for the management board of an historic turn-of-the-century bedroom community and designated heritage site.

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ziggywiggy's avatar

Your Wednesday reminder, this Saturday's movie night selection is 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 (𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟒). A wonderful movie based on a true story about UK miners on strike who are helped by LGBTQ activists. A great way to celebrate the end of Pride Month. https://open.substack.com/pub/ziggywiggy/p/wonkette-movie-night-june-29-pride?r=2knfuc&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

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2Cats2Furious's avatar

One of the rare Movie Night films I’ve already seen, and loved. Looking forward to re-watching.

Plus, Babby Axl is pure joy in the poster!

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C&A Bongo Man's avatar

A great film.

The film's always start too late for me, but I saved this link with a little of the real life background. Saves me staying up late to post it on the film thread.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c722z4qyed1o

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Uncle Milburn's avatar

2024 PDX WonkMeet

July 27th noon to about 4pm, or whenever they kick us out.

Nite Hawk Bar and Grill

6423 N Interstate Ave, Portland, OR 

thenitehawk.net

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The_Shadout_Mapes's avatar

Why hasn’t the decision about Mixed-Status families losing their rights to live with their spouses and children not been covered extensively by the media? This is terrifying news. If I don’t have the right to live with my husband in my and our child’s country, it’s as the liberal justices warned. Gay people’s and interracial couples’ marriages won’t be protected for long.

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Queroloustwo's avatar

If you married your partner in any of these countries and you move to the US of A you will automatically be divorced

Andorra

Argentina

Australia

Austria

Belgium

Brazil

Canada

Chile

Colombia

Costa Rica

Cuba

Denmark

Ecuador

Estonia

Finland

France

Germany

Greece

Iceland

Ireland

Liechtenstein*

Luxembourg

Malta

Mexico

Nepal

Netherlands1

New Zealand2

Norway

Portugal

Slovenia

South Africa

Spain

Sweden

Switzerland

Taiwan

Thailand

United Kingdom

Uruguay

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OneYieldRegular's avatar

From that Harlem mansion story:

"Instead of bringing champagne for the housewarming, friends brought insecticide. "

Really an unforgettable evening.

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PaulDietzel's avatar

I love how over on that Tiedrich link that there's that thing that Donny sent out about his willingness to debate , ya' know - the GOOD OF THE COUNTRY -- the ANYTIME, ANYPLACE -- Corrupt DNC one - and he signs off

"Thank You for your attention to this matter."

Because "Thank You for your attention to this matter." sounds so formal, so stern, so official but he's only familiar with it because he's seen it a million times on letters that creditors send out to deadbeats:

"We've looked everywhere for your payment. Maybe it's still in you checkbook. . . . pay up loser . . . blah, blah, blah , , , "Thank You for your attention to this matter."

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Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

Haha! Good point.

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OneYieldRegular's avatar

"Perhaps you are a fan; you are allowed to be! I am not."

Former friend who once wore a "FREE ASSANGE!!!" t-shirt to dinner at someone's house is the same former friend who voted for Jill Stein instead of Hillary Clinton in 2016.

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Randy Bender's avatar

Still waiting for the RNC emails to be leaked...

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Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

Same. I'm with Teidich on this one though. They have been leaked. To PAB from Vlad. Kompromat on all those RINO senators who continue to support the Orange Felon through thick and thin.

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marydn's avatar

Thank you Rebecca for the tab about the Harlem mansion. That house is so beautiful. And thank goodness it is being cared for and restored by people who appreciate it! As opposed to the assholes who would destroy it for money.

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Regret's avatar

Following those links about Assange.

"Assange declared that the American slogan emblazoned on the gates of Guantánamo—HONOR BOUND TO DEFEND FREEDOM—is a worse “perversion of the truth” than the signs at Nazi concentration camps proclaiming that work makes you free."

I gotta agree with Assange here: Torturers have no honour; the entire place was specifically chosen for these human rights violations so it wouldn't be bound by any honour, principle, or law; locking up innocent people is not what defend means; and using freedom to describe a torture prison is the cherry on top of this phrase.

The conclusion of that hit piece is interesting:

"But the value of some of their revelations does not mean that they deserve the prestige and influence that has been accorded to them. "

It seems to assume that the reason people don't want Assange to get disappeared and/or tortured to death by the USA (as the USA is wont to do) is because they think Assange deserves prestige and influence. The idea that someone could be generally opposed to torture doesn't even enter into the realm of possibility for that writer.

It continues;

"The leakers and their supporters would never hand the state modern surveillance powers, even if they came wrapped in all sorts of rules and regulations that would constrain their abuse. They are right to worry, but wrong—even paranoid—to distrust democratic governments in this way. Surveillance and secrecy will never be attractive features of a democratic government, but they are not inimical to it, either. This the leakers will never understand."

That's thinking in absolutes, a strawman, and then a statement pretending to be an argument. That's a lot of fallacies in a row. Impressive, really.

The rest was interesting and confirmed the darker side of my assumptions, but doesn't change my basic view of the guy: Unstable and quite the asshole, but morally still miles above the NSA, CIA, and other arms of the US government.

Never trust power in the hands of others. All power to all the people. Any society less equal than that cannot ever be stable so it will get less equal over time. And even with perfect equal power, you still need to instill a culture of decentralisation so power can't even start growing uneven.

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Emil Muz's avatar

The concept that Assange has any real beliefs that don't center around him and his ego is a non-starter in any discussion. He's Trump without the trash palace and big plane. He's never done anything wrong in his life in his mind.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf's avatar

Nobody's talking about disappearing Assange, "hit piece" or no.

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Regret's avatar

Well obviously the various spy agencies wouldn't say it, they would just do it. There's a torture prison full of people who are innocent by definition of never having gotten a court case, and that's just the ones we know about. That's all the proof I need that there are groups of government employees who are willing to disappear people.

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Jun 26, 2024
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LP's avatar

I didn't know that. Every bit of info I learn about him makes him worse and worse.

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