God: Look at all those evangelist pricks down there, lying and cheating and adultering, all the while claiming they follow my ways. Medammit, I'm gonna smite their asses!
Jesus: Wait a minute Dad, I have an idea. Why not test them first? That way you know you're not smiting any innocents.
God: (mulls it over) Well...that's not really my style, but what did you have in mind?
Jesus: Find like the shittiest human being ever, a real selfish narcissistic asshole, and have him run for election claiming to represent the Christian right. Then let him win, but do absolutely nothing to help anyone but himself and fellow rich assholes. Then you'll know anyone who still follows him is a worthless piece of shit and ripe for smiting.
God: Hmmm, that might be fun. I have just the asshole in mind. Have you ever watched NBC reality television? (Shows a clip of The Apprentice)
Ya know... I took one look at that atrocity and the first thought that popped into my mind was "Giant Lightning Rod". Given that Florida IS the lightning capital of the world, and that... piss-colored monstrosity should have some iron substructure, and since it was built rapidly by MAGA morons, dollars to donuts it won't be properly grounded. That thing is going to get blasted to smithereens come storm season, which starts... right... about... now.
Especially since if He/She/They/It is “all-knowing”, then He/She/They/It *know* what people are going to do already, so it’s not “testing”, it’s just being a dick.
You've identified the stupid axiom that enabled the doctrine of "Predestination". If the deity has perfect knowledge of the past and future, he can obviously know that some person will violate one of his stupid rules, or "sins". And even whether or not that person will get that sin absolved by an officer of "The Church". So clearly, a person's fate is known even before that person comes into being. Some are destined for Hell and some are destined for Heaven. This stupid doctrine was promoted to prominence by Augustine (a nasty sob) and amped up to the max by Calvin. All Calvinists assume they are destined for Heaven. Otherwise, why be a Calvinist? This allows them to be amazingly shitty people no matter what they do.
Donald Trump was raised Calvinist. Scott Bessent still attends a Calvinist church.
"...for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me..."
The petty vindictiveness of the old testament god is really creepy. Maybe that's why Maga are confused because Stinky is petty and vindictive, too.
Cover it in faux gold, real platinum, fucking blood diamonds --which would be more appropriate-- all you want, the interior is ALWAYS going to be 1500% whale shit.
I see a future in which this statue could be pulled over and half sunk into the ground to serve as a proxy urinal for those who can’t make it to the actual burial spot.
The thing about bronze is how it MELTS inside a furnace and the molten bronze can be recast into something else. Like a memorial for Alex Pretti and Renee Good.
Most maga cultists have never actually read the Bible, so they have the excuse that they don’t know that their blind worship is of a man who stands 180 degrees opposite of Jesus’ teachings. Burns, however, is a pastor, so he can’t use that excuse. Hence all the pretzel logic to deny the idolatry.
Personally, as an atheist, I don’t give a rat’s ass what they worship. It’s the hypocrisy that aggravates me.
"And there is no urine in the soup."
A short play:
God: Look at all those evangelist pricks down there, lying and cheating and adultering, all the while claiming they follow my ways. Medammit, I'm gonna smite their asses!
Jesus: Wait a minute Dad, I have an idea. Why not test them first? That way you know you're not smiting any innocents.
God: (mulls it over) Well...that's not really my style, but what did you have in mind?
Jesus: Find like the shittiest human being ever, a real selfish narcissistic asshole, and have him run for election claiming to represent the Christian right. Then let him win, but do absolutely nothing to help anyone but himself and fellow rich assholes. Then you'll know anyone who still follows him is a worthless piece of shit and ripe for smiting.
God: Hmmm, that might be fun. I have just the asshole in mind. Have you ever watched NBC reality television? (Shows a clip of The Apprentice)
Jesus: Me H. Me! You don't mess around!
6000 patriots?
Hey, found out what happened to your golden phones, you rubes!
Ya know... I took one look at that atrocity and the first thought that popped into my mind was "Giant Lightning Rod". Given that Florida IS the lightning capital of the world, and that... piss-colored monstrosity should have some iron substructure, and since it was built rapidly by MAGA morons, dollars to donuts it won't be properly grounded. That thing is going to get blasted to smithereens come storm season, which starts... right... about... now.
"The Lord Has Spoken" is queued on tape.
I have literally never seen an outdoor gold statue before- even gold-LEAFED. The TDS has always been calling from inside the house.
https://sfo3.digitaloceanspaces.com/offload-wp-files/2019/09/golden-calf.jpg
If we are lucky, this golden calf will experience a melt down too.
Ta, Evan. I already read this at The Moral High Ground; I'm here for the (non)comments. Actually, I'm amazed the "artist" got that final payment.
I'm guessing he held it hostage.
So, if it isn't an idol, and they're not worshipping it, I can just go up and spit on that statue, and it's no biggie, right?
𝘎𝘰𝘥’𝘴 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘶𝘣𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵.
Especially since if He/She/They/It is “all-knowing”, then He/She/They/It *know* what people are going to do already, so it’s not “testing”, it’s just being a dick.
You've identified the stupid axiom that enabled the doctrine of "Predestination". If the deity has perfect knowledge of the past and future, he can obviously know that some person will violate one of his stupid rules, or "sins". And even whether or not that person will get that sin absolved by an officer of "The Church". So clearly, a person's fate is known even before that person comes into being. Some are destined for Hell and some are destined for Heaven. This stupid doctrine was promoted to prominence by Augustine (a nasty sob) and amped up to the max by Calvin. All Calvinists assume they are destined for Heaven. Otherwise, why be a Calvinist? This allows them to be amazingly shitty people no matter what they do.
Donald Trump was raised Calvinist. Scott Bessent still attends a Calvinist church.
So “institutional doublethink”?
"...for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me..."
The petty vindictiveness of the old testament god is really creepy. Maybe that's why Maga are confused because Stinky is petty and vindictive, too.
Cover it in faux gold, real platinum, fucking blood diamonds --which would be more appropriate-- all you want, the interior is ALWAYS going to be 1500% whale shit.
I see a future in which this statue could be pulled over and half sunk into the ground to serve as a proxy urinal for those who can’t make it to the actual burial spot.
That’s just a piece of shit covered in gold.
Bronze you say?
The thing about bronze is how it MELTS inside a furnace and the molten bronze can be recast into something else. Like a memorial for Alex Pretti and Renee Good.
Why waste bronze?
This is some golden bull shit.
It’s a golden cankle.
Most maga cultists have never actually read the Bible, so they have the excuse that they don’t know that their blind worship is of a man who stands 180 degrees opposite of Jesus’ teachings. Burns, however, is a pastor, so he can’t use that excuse. Hence all the pretzel logic to deny the idolatry.
Personally, as an atheist, I don’t give a rat’s ass what they worship. It’s the hypocrisy that aggravates me.