I'm On A (Imaginary Medical) Boat! Tabs, Fri., Feb. 27, 2026

Morning news roundup, things to read!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Good morning good morning, it’s time for your tabs!

All Jeffrey Epstein’s billionaire friends. (Oligarch Watch)

I feel like we probably shouldn’t be encouraging our American-resident Cuban exiles to armed-invade Cuba, but that’s probably just me. It certainly isn’t Marco Rubio or the Florida state attorney general, who blamed the armed-invading of Cuba on Cuba and “communists.”

Florida’s attorney general said he had ordered an investigation into the incident. “The Cuban government cannot be trusted, and we will do everything in our power to hold these communists accountable,” said James Uthmeier.

(The Guardian)

Oh shit, there’s elections RIGHT NOW, AGAIN! (Bolts mag)

Should Trump declare a “state of emergency” over elections? Of course not, but you know he’s gonna anyway. (Gift link Washington Post)

Your better and cheaper Trump-flavored Obamacare at work: a $31,000 family deductible. (Gift link New York Times)

The Imaginary Medical Boat is really something. (Tiedrich) Meanwhile, the US Women’s Hockey team found a man they WOULD have lunch with, and it is Stanley Tucci obviously because that guy’s the best. (Tiedrich)

Oh my god, somebody please steal me this baby (and her dogs).

The grifting of the Trump boys (and their dad) off the presidency should still shock every one of us, but instead half the country still thinks Hunter Biden invaded Ukraine. (Our Liz at Public Notice)

Neat, Trump in one year has destroyed 12 years of Social Security solvency. Benefit cuts now expected in 2040, when I’ll be … 66 :) (Fortune)

Kansas is sending letters to trans people demanding they send in their driver’s licenses immediately. (Erin in the Morning)

It’s gonna be so sad when ICE agents can’t get hired in any blue states :( (The Guardian)

Candace Owens being a total B about Erika Kirk some more, doing a close read of “her parents’ attorney’s paralegal wrote her birthday down wrong in their divorce filing, probably they’re not her parents then.” Man, she is obsessed. (Us magazine)

Martini says we should all watch this, or maybe she just means me, I should all watch this. (The Guardian)

Okay, who sent me a mystery Birthday Slanket, and how soon will it be before Donna Rose and Lu both steal it from me forever?

---

What are you watching with your friend ZiggyWiggy for Movie Night tomorrow at 9 Eastern? You are watching The Apartment, available with subscription on MGM+. Free with ads on Tubi, Pluto TV and Plex. It is our 200th movie. That’s a lot of fucking movies!

---

All Wonkette posts are free, always. Feel free to

Wonkette is ad-free and has NO PAYWALL, EVER, because how the hell are we supposed to fight disinformation when we won’t let people read us? If you are holding, and you are able, here is where you may make a one-time or recurring donation in any amount your heart desires. We love you!

This is the button for giving us all your extra money (ONLY IF IT IS EXTRA) but with Venmo.