Imagine If YOUR Famous Dead Pedophile Kid-Toucher BFF Said These Things About YOU
What would it say about YOU if THAT GUY said THOSE THINGS about YOU?
We’re all absorbing the details from this little tiny piece of the records pertaining to Jeffrey Epstein, the dead child rapist Donald Trump once said he shared a wonderful secret with, perhaps the best friend he’s ever had. It’s not the whole tranche the House is set to vote on releasing next week. It’s just what the House Oversight Committee released yesterday.
(And don’t be so sure that vote to release the files is just going to die in the Senate, not with everything we know now, and what we will know tomorrow, and the day after that, and after that, and after that. If that was such a sure thing, the White House wouldn’t have been so panicked yesterday that they tried to trap Lauren Boebert in the Situation Room like Beetlejuice in the scale model in the attic, to trick/bribe/scare her into voting against the discharge petition.)
That tranche is huge and indubitably thousands of times more disgusting than anything we’ve seen so far. The way Trump is panicking, the way Karoline Leavitt’s fillers are angrily pulsating like she’s about to give mouth-birth to something out of the Alien franchise, they’re freaked.
It’s probably grosser than whatever is breaking about Matt Gaetz allegedly paying a homeless 17-year-old girl who just wanted braces for sex. (Oh no, Matt Gaetz distraction from the Epstein Files!)
And how can we be fairly sure it’s that gross, and that the “gross” specifically pertains to Donald Trump, the pussgrabbing president who used to say just the foulest things about his own daughter Ivanka, at least before she aged out of Trump’s preferred dating pool?
Well, we can look at some of the things Jeffrey Epstein, Trump’s dead pedophile child rapist best friend, said about him in the emails that were released yesterday.
Now, we are sure MAGA is tempted to cope and act like CONSIDER THE SOURCE, LIE-BRULS, suggesting that Jeffrey Epstein, Trump’s dead pedophile child rapist best friend, wasn’t a reliable narrator when it came to Trump. They’re trying to cope lots of ways right now. For instance, watch Megyn Kelly work herself through the “it’s not pedophilia, it’s EPHEBOPHILIA!” stage of coping, if you’re into watching Megyn Kelly working out things with her mind.
That might be a good point, if Jeffrey Epstein hadn’t been Trump’s best friend. Also, if this wasn’t just Jeffrey Epstein just shooting the shit over his But His Emails, with Larry Summers, and former White House Counsel Kathy Ruemmler (shaaaaame) and former New York Times reporter Landon Thomas (morrrrre shaaaaaaaame).
There’s this one:
It’s [sic] throughout, obviously, but, Trump’s pedophile best friend said to Larry Summers in February of 2017:
“recall ive told you ,, — i have met some very bad people ,, none as bad as trump. not one decent cell in his body.. so yes- dangerous”
Wow! If Donald Trump’s pedophile child rapist best friend Jeffrey Epstein said he had met some bad people, but that none of them was as bad as Donald Trump? Not one decent cell in his entire body? And there Jeffrey Epstein — Jeffrey Epstein! — is comparing himself to Trump, at least suggesting that he thinks he himself has some decent cells in his body?
BUT NOT TRUMP?
That’s gotta hurt, to hear your pedophile child rapist best friend talking like that. Or it would, if you had a human soul or capacity for human feeling, and from what Epstein said, sounds like Trump doesn’t.
Here’s one to Kathy Ruemmler.
She said, “Trump is so gross.”
And Jeffrey Epstein — Jeffrey Epstein! Pedophile child rapist! — said Trump — Trump! — is “worse in real life and upclose.” [sic]
That must be pretty gross “upclose”!
OK and then finally this one, to Landon Thomas Jr.
“he feels alone. and is nuts !!! , I told everyone from day one. evil beyond belief. mad, and most thought i was speaking metaphorically. its obvious he could crack. stormy daniels. ? lies after lies after lies.”
Man, when Jeffrey Epstein, Dead Pedophile Child Rapist, is saying YOU are “evil beyond belief”?
You must be a real stinker.
(Sidenote, in that screengrab we see Landon Thomas asking “Can Barrack talk sense to him anymore?” Tom Barrack, current ambassador to Turkey whose name has been floating around Trump like a turd in a golden toilet for ages. We only note it because we’ve already seen in the wild MAGA dipshits thinking it’s referring to Barack Obama, like CHECKMATE YA LIBS, so watch out for that so you can make fun of it.)
There was also of course the time Trump’s pedophile child rapist best friend Jeffrey Epstein told Kathy Ruemmler in 2018 that “I know how dirty Donald is.” But that’s a runner-up in this post, because it’s the only one where we feel like arguably he could have just been talking like a general form of dirty. (They were talking about Michael Cohen flipping, and the dirt Cohen would have on Trump.)
Instead we will just finish this post with this very good skeet from Ben Collins AKA “Tim Onion.”
And maybe “I am the president of the United States” before this is all over.
Guess we’ll just have to wait and find out!
OPEN THREAD.
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Tomorrow is my second attempt at donating blood. Two weeks back i signed up for my first time, I was super anxious, this was going to be a hard thing for me to do but was determined to do it anyway. I got there, first one on line. They check your platelet count with a nifty little thumb clip, mine was great, checked my blood pressure, a little high (anxiety) but in the accepted range. Then my pulse which was way too high at 106 when they require 100 or lower. I knew exactly what it was, my fucking anxiety dragon was breathing down my neck. When they said there's a problem, I started to freak out, told them I have bad anxiety, they said I could wait a little and try to calm down.
Anyone who has anxiety knows telling a person having an anxiety attack to try and calm down is like putting gasoline on a fire. I lost it, started crying, it had been so hard for me to get there in the first place. I ran out of the place in tears and i really hate crying in public, people don't understand.
So I got back home, talked to friends who get it and calmed down. then I rescheduled. I realized i need to take my anti-anxiety meds in order to do this and my meds are completely ok for donating blood. I held back last time not knowing if it was ok. So tomorrow i know i can do this, I will take my medicine like i should and i will conquer this. And get to help someone in the process.
This is the open thread picture?!?!
*goes to consult Geneva convention protocols*