Imagine Jim Jordan House Speaker Vote Roll-Calling On A Human Face, Forever.

Forever. Forever. Forever. Forever. WonkTV.

dystopian robot jim jordan

Jim Jordan promises. Jim Jordan promises he will prevail. Jim Jordan was going to bow out of the House speaker race gracef — ahahaha, your Wonkette is a kidder, but he was going to cut his losses and leave with his dignity only mostly dead. And now he promises.

He promises there will be pain.

He promises they will start this morning and keep voting, and “grind it out” until he wins.

Just FYI, this is how cults break down their victims.

Here is a good headline, Politico, “House GOP Drowning As Crisis Reaches Breaking Point.”

Here is a bad picture, CNN, WTF.

It’s funny because we’re all going to die.

Because the House Republicans cannot unite with Democrats to vote in a Republican caretaker speaker after fragging their own. What you and I know as “bipartisanship,” which a majority of Americans are constantly mewling that they want, is absolutely a no-go from House Republicans. They refuse to elect their own nerd, Patrick McHenry, currently the (acting) caretaker speaker, if Democrats vote for him too. And 20 of them refuse to vote for a guy who already disregarded their own election. And that guy and his goons refuse to vote for the guy who won their own election, because what is “election,” does anybody know?

They know what pain is. They know what intimidation is. They know what kind of threats to send to Republican members’ wives — nasty ones — and Jim Jordan “disavows” them, disavows the threats, the most perfunctory “oh. no. stop.” this side of Gene Wilder’s Willy Wonka.

And the 20 who are refusing to back down, this is the most surprising thing. They always back down. Their cowardice is a huge, sucking void. On Jan. 6, 2021, they voted for their own hanging.

I give it till the third “grind it out” back-to-back ballot. If we’re even still doing that today, Clown Fuck Idiot up there keeps changing his stupid mind, that’s what you need in a leader, vacillation and whiplash. Also, he gave a press conference this morning, and it was about the Wright Brothers.

In conclusion:

Nancy Pelosi Ride or Die category in the Wonkette Bazaar

Ma’am.

Your livestream House Speaker Vote Day Three (?) is below.