344 Comments
User's avatar
OneYieldRegular's avatar

"...his presidential socks looked stuffed as a pair of occupied sleeping bags hanging on to his calves for dear life, as if his ankles were veritably bursting with tumescence, his trotters overspilling his Florsheims like proofing loaves of sourdough"

Tell me this is a Marcie Jones post without telling me this is a Marcie Jones post.

djny10003's avatar

The gay national anthem is "I Will Survive"

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

My main question is, why would someone who keeps their teeth in a glass on the nightstand need to go see a dentist?

josephebacon's avatar

Well gosh maybe them there dentures need some adjusting...😏

ArgieBargie's avatar

"Cankle dentist" is the laugh I needed today. Thank you.

rawrtigerlily's avatar

You'd think with so many people thinking about this so hard, we'd just finally manifest it if that was a thing that was even remotely possible.

VwllssWndr's avatar

A Satanic pact may have been involved.

ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

I am considering the possibility that trump took the cognitive test only once, but keeps forgetting that he told people about it. So he is bragging about the same cognitive test over and over. Sure sign of dementia.

Shallow state's avatar

Boasting about results of your cognitive test is, ipso facto, failing your cognitive test.

PrimerGray's avatar

Our friend Seth Triggs frequently cites Murc's law and it got me to thinking about Sec. of Defense Lloyd Austin and his hospitalization for prostate cancer, which caused him to temporarily pass his duties to the Deputy Secretary for a couple of weeks. This was in January 2024. I did a quick search of this and unsurprisingly, there were calls for his impeachment, our national security was a risk, blah blah blah. Compare to today with our current Secretary and our liquefying condition of our current predisent. No comparison to the difference in the way Biden/Democrats are treated by the media vs. Assface/GOP. It's all a goddamned game to the media and their masters.

Resource NW's avatar

So we should not be attempting to shoot a firearm at a certain convicted felon, but instead tossing a bucket of water on him instead? Good to kno.

Mysterysurf's avatar

I'm melting! What a world, what a world...

VaselineHabits's avatar

As much as Trump is obsessed with image, multiple buckets of waters on his face/hair would probably make him more upset than being "assassinated"

Shallow state's avatar

"Run the government like a business" they said.

"Medicare, Medicaid. ... I don't care ...‘You work out the details.’”

Forget Obama. Forget Biden. Can you imagine a CEO going before shareholders and saying he had been talking with the board and then said: "Debt obligations, stock dividends ... I don't care ... you work out the details"? Can you imagine if the CEO had done this following very public displays of his intense and extended engagement in interior design decisions?

Can. You. Fucking. Imagine?

Anarchy Pony's avatar

"Run the government like a business"? Say, you know who I trust even less than the government?

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

I don’t need to imagine. I used to work for the Journal Register Corporation.

ArgieBargie's avatar

Thank you, old people, for turning AI slop into the new Facebook minions memes.

My teen kids already hate it with a passion.

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘇𝗻𝗶𝘁 𝗙𝘂𝗰𝗸𝘄𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗴𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝘀𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗹. 𝗔 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗲𝗿𝘀.

𝘈𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘦𝘤𝘩.

https://substack.com/home/post/p-196490126

VwllssWndr's avatar

I don't know why they're even bothering. He could rip up the paper and start eating it and no one is going to suggest he's incapable of serving as president.

Angry Young Sellout's avatar

He doesn't seem to realize that even being ASKED to take multiple cognitive tests is a very bad sign!

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

Much less constantly bragging about requiring constant cognitive tests.

Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

TiLt!! TiLt!! pfft! pfft! pfft!

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

On the Child-Rapist-in-Chief once again boasting about having to take a brain damage test...

"How completely fucking insane is it that bragging about how good he is at pointing at shit has now become a central part of every one of Donny’s public appearances?

It no longer matters who Donny’s speaking in front of, or what the topic is. His prowess at pointing now comes up every single time he opens his rancid anus-mouth. Yesterday’s Oval Bordello dog-and-pony show was ostensibly a ‘small business summit.’ There was no possible context for yammering about squirrels, but that didn’t stop Donny from boasting about taking a test that’s only administered to people suspected of having brain damage."

Oy!'s avatar

"Donald Trump is not working out." –Ezra Klein

.

😃

.

(Klein just said that on his podcast - and I am not being fair because he said it sardonically but still, I was struck by the casualness of it – and it reminded me of an article by Margaret Sullivan I read this morning where she pointed out (yet again) how the news media is failing us in their reporting on Trump; how they (and we) have all become normalized to all his vile, corrupt and unconstitutional behavior and utterances. Add in Congress, business, academia all being deferential, and a MAGA-SCOTUS determined to give him total power. And 8647 . . .)

Skunk Formerly Known As Stoner's avatar

“God’s waiting room is open for Rudy Giuliani, and it is open for Trump”

Go straight to hell. Do not pass the pearly gates, do not collect any chance at redemption.

Lawyers, Guns 'n' Money's avatar

"God’s waiting room is open for Rudy Giuliani, and it is open for Trump, and he sure knows it."

Uh, I think they're probably going a different direction.

schmannity's avatar

Trump's ankle dentist: Not the plaque we were hoping for

JanuaryClaire's avatar

Ankle dentist sounds like a pediatrician, taking care of the little ankle biters.

Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

Trump is the plague that we are dreading.

Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

When Trump croaks, I wonder how long it will be until we find out for sure. Maybe we should have a betting pool or Polymarket on that. I'd wager ten quatloos that it will take about ten days before the truth came out.

VwllssWndr's avatar

It depends. If he faceplants in front of the cameras I think it moves the timetable up some. If it's just another one of those "We haven't seen the guy in almost a week" it could be as much as a fortnight.

Resource NW's avatar

I'd bet a PEI ha'penny, but I think they are valuable numismatically speaking.

TheGreatAndPowerfulMormos!'s avatar

I figure they'll keep the death a secret until vance is eligible for two full terms. Then they'll cart his bloated corpse out from whatever freezer they were keeping it in with an "oh noes! The preznit is dead." I'm sure they have an ai trump ready and waiting to fill in for however long the gap between his death and vance's eligibility may be.

Noma Larkey's avatar

I don't see how they'll be able to contain the stench that long. It already seems to be a challenge.

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

Hours. He surrounds himself with backstabbers and attention whores like himself.

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

If not days. They'll need time to hide their money, burn documents, flee the country, etc.