385 Comments

I wanted to go mock and troll his Xitter post, but it seems to be missing. Guessing a lot of other people had the same idea.

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Now you say demons are not real, but the bees in my teeth tell a different story! Who to believe??

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Given that we are living in the Stupidest Possible Age, I feel compelled to point out that it took the Witch Hysteria of Europe about three hundred years before it ran its course. Consider, the number of women who were murdered during the height of the witch hysteria in certain areas — Switzerland — could mean that nearly every woman in the area was accused. If burning your mother as a witch didn’t break the fevered grip of mass psychosis on a person, how could you imagine that watching the West burn, the South hammered by hurricanes, the Midwest and Northeast drowned in floods, the loss of our democracy, or the deaths of a million or more Americans will break the mass psychosis of MAGA Nation?

We've got a lot more stupid to get through before MAGA is gone.

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Considering the number of christianists who seem to believe that demons are possessing people willy-nilly and witches are consorting with the Devil himself on the daily I have no problem believing that this idiot believes his own nonsense. I also could believe it's a total con and he's a cynically playing to his audience. Either way he's a total shit.

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Weren’t the Salem witch trials, a well-known example of mass hysteria, kicked off by two little girls, ages 9 and 11, who falsely accused several dozen people of casting spells on them? They were cousins who flopped around and moaned and acted like a couple weirdos who then explained to the baffled medical experts, who accepted as PROOF of witchcraft the mere oddity of the girls’ behavior (cuz what else could cause such flailing? Huh? Huh?), that Goody Smith and Goody Thompson and Goody Goodbar, etc etc etc had cursed them. The insanity spread and like 200 people were accused. Dozens went on trial, and like 20 were murdered for being too witchy. One dude, a farmer was 81! In the 1600’s! 81! He was accused, refused to confess, and was pressed to death with heavy stones. Human beings can be monsters. Even 9-11 year-old girls who found it fun to spaz out on the floor, get attention, and then wield POWER by making dozens of false accusations. They needed a doctor like the one in the George Costanza elbow-jerk case. “May I suggest the possibility that you are faking?”

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Being a sixth grade teacher (10 - 11 year olds), they can be especially jerky, especially to one another. Not difficult to believe.

There was a very popular book printed in 1486 the "Malleus Maleficarum” that gave instruction on identifying, interrogating, and hunting witches. For the next two hundred years or so, it was a popular as the Bible. The QAnon of its time if you will.

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Why would werewolves eat babies instead of waiting and eating ripe humans?

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In the Middle Ages, especially after the Black Plague, which was a root cause of the Witch Hysteria, infant mortality as extremely high. Also, people were not being well behaved given the destruction of the social norms that rapid mass depopulation caused. If you've ever raised a particularly colicky baby, you may understand the urge to murder... I'm just saying. Mix that with postpartum depression, rage at the inattention of your wife because baby, and other social pressures, and covering the murder of a baby by blaming an Other -- the equivalent of a Black man carjacked, invaded my home, came out of the shadows and murdered my spouse -- became really easy.

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Babies are tender. "Ripe" humans are gristly.

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founding

tenderness. why do people eat veal?

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Stem cells.....duh.....

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That part actually makes sense; it's very common for predators to go after the newborn, because they're unable either to defend themselves or to run away. In fact I've never known a werewolf who would turn down raw infant!

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And adult humans are just chewy and gristly. And there is about a 40% chance of eating a Republican, and that’s always some spoiled, foul-tasting meat.

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OK, the risk of eating a Republican and getting Greedy Oompaloompaform Pedophilopathy (GOP or Mad Trump Disease) sounds like a solid justification.

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founding

Really?

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Remember to wiggle/twitch your nose ;-)

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Quick! Someone tell ol' Harry that the Inquisition required a confession before final sentence was pronounced and a confession had to be obtained through torture to be considered legitimate.

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Well, I think Harrison H. Smith has a jawline like a bird, therefore he's guilty of being a Harpy. Also, too, fuck Ann Putnam, Sr.

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Why does it say sucker next to his name in the post? Are MAGA self-identifying now to make it easier on the rest of us? And why is there a cross? Is he preemptively warding off lurker vampires? Guys, guys, the world is broken, it’s like freezing up and going backwards. We need to either give it a good hard slap on the side or CTRL + ALT + DELETE and reboot. Shit’s crazy.

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Fun theory: the vampires, werewolves and zombies myths may have come from Middle Ages cases of rabies. Rabid humans either go staggering and torpid (like zombies), or they start attacking and biting everything in sight (like werewolves), though they can be driven off if you throw (Holy) water at them (like vampires).

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Just a heads up to all you atheists and agnostics out there from a witch: what you see practiced as "witchcraft" of any kind on television and in books and movies isn't real. We don't show you the real stuff.

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"Good Omens"

Most books on witchcraft tell us that witches perform their rituals naked. That's because most books on witchcraft are written by men.

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It's referred to as "sky clad"

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Haaaaaaa. That struck a chord because growing up, my parents had some random weird books on the shelf. One was a book about witchcraft with photos of some rituals. A group of naked men held a prone naked woman with some symbols painted on her. That’s all I remember. But it was my first naked people book and a favorite of mine to sneak. It is funny how often witchcraft is sexualized. Again, that might be men and their…”witchful” thinking?

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There are so many Americans who believe in the literal existence of magic.....

It dismays me; such people are not given to follow logic.

Worst of all, they vote.

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Samuel Sewall is worth looking up if you do not know his story.

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As a direct and collateral descendant of women accused of witchcraft in Salem, this makes me puke.

Actually, in the 90s a high school here in Vermont screened the three-part drama "Three Sovereigns for Sarah" about my ancestor Sarah Towne Cloyse receiving apology and compensation for the loss of her two sisters, Rebecca Nurse and Mary Easty, who were hanged (Sarah was imprisoned for about a year but not convicted).

Some nitwit "Christian" mother objected to the screening, saying that the school shouldn't be teaching about "the dark side!"

So some of these historically ignorant fools have always thought this.

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That mother is absolutely just christianity in action - toxic as hell and deliberately obscurantist - just like Harrison wossname.

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