Iowa Republican Happy To Give You His Own Pee So He Can Drug Test Poors

Everybody who isn't A Dumb knows that drug testing welfare recipients doesn't actually work, because SURPRISINGLY, poor people don't actually live by the parameters of a typical Rush Limbaugh rant about welfare queens getting high off government paychecks and smoking drugs. Shocking, we know. Of course, Republicans still love the idea because A) they DO get their worldview from those Limbaugh rants, and B) they get to shame poor people! Yay! And now Republican Jason Schultz, state senator out of Iowa, has come up with a truly loving, Christian idea, just so nobody can say they're singling out all those poors for unfair treatment:

He authored an amendment to a $1.9 billion health and human services spending bill last week that would have forced Senate members to go undergo drug screening. If they failed, they would be ineligible for the state’s group health insurance program, he proposed.

“This is saying that we will test ourselves, as we would suggest that those who receive assistance be tested, as the people who pay taxes as a condition of employment are tested,” Schultz said in remarks on the Senate floor.

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What a sweetheart! Sen. Schultz will offer up his own pee, and the pee of his Senate colleagues. He will be the Grand Whiz-ard of Iowa Lawmaker Pee. He doesn't specify whether he will personally collect it, so we'll just leave that as a totally gross open question.

Schultz said this was necessary, for the same reasons Congress should have to be on Obamacare, explaining, "By no means should we exempt ourselves from what we believe is good public policy and I believe good public policy is protecting the taxpayers of Iowa.” So gather around, good Iowa lawmakers, it's time to CROSS STREAMS FOR FREEDOM. And for fucking the poors.

Unfortunately, Schultz's amendment was DOA because the mean Democrats said it was not "germane" to the bill. We guess by "germane," they meant that "we are a bunch of pee-shy losers and can't go if the entire state legislature is in the room."

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This, of course, is another entry into the competition the states seem to be having, over who can fuck the poors the hardest. Sorry, Iowa, but you're going to have to try harder, because Wisconsin is clearly   in the lead. 

[ Des Moines Register ]